Missing my Mom - wish I could feel her spirit

Hi. I'm weeping as I'm reading in SF tonight. Funny thing is, I came to SF for some comforting knowledge, clicked on this thread:

http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...t=91025&page=2

And realized I read it already! I wanted to start a separate thread so I don't hijack to the OP of the above thread.

It's been about a month and a half since my Mom journeyed to the Spirit world. And I recently freaked myself out: did my Mom "forget" me?

I guess in my grieving I'm having a little bit of a belief crisis. I really want to believe love never dies; I really want to believe my Mom still feels my love and is happy in her new existence. And I really would like to hear from her.

But I'm struggling to connect to that knowing right now.

A few times, in our heart-to-heart talks the past few years, I'd tell her: Mom, if you can, please come back and visit me. Just don't scare me! And we'd laugh at some of the scenarios she could surprise me with a visit from "beyond".

I'm so sorry to ask this, but if someone would be so kind as to share from your place of loving wisdom some teachings about the eternal existence of love, and about the love connection that humans share in this world that survives physical death, that would be so appreciated, not only by me but I'm sure others.

I just can't believe someone as beautiful and loving as my Mom could have "disappeared". This is very new to me. I had a different grief response to my Dad 3 years ago. I guess as some say, the bond between a mother and daughter is very different.

Thank you for your kindness and help and wisdom. Have a good evening. For my relatives also grieving, I very much wish you comfort during your sad time. Miigwetch.

Did some more reading here. Just had a wave of grief hit me earlier. Feeling a little remorseful about my OP now. Also tired. (Can anyone tell?)

[Clover]

Originally Posted by Raven Poet

Did some more reading here. Just had a wave of grief hit me earlier. Feeling a little remorseful about my OP now. Also tired. (Can anyone tell?)

Your fine. Your welcomed to grieve, cry, and express yourself here anyway you want. Sorry to hear about your mother, my greatest condolences.

[Belle]

Grief is a really terrible journey. It's so complicated on many levels - the emotional as well as the spiritual and a lot of different things are taking place energetically. So - be kind to yourself as you experience this and you miss your mom so bad as that is the sign that you truly love.

There are various understandings but what I have heard and hold fast to is that when someone passes, they go to be healed which can take any length of time. Some leave immediately, some linger for a while.

The other thing is, your mother is in a different form, more pure and whole that you can imagine and so it is about getting used to a relationship with her on a very very different level. And that takes time and effort as well - when you are at such a low ebb.

There are peaks and troughs, but when you can find a quiet place in your heart, remember the good times and smile. Continue to talk to your mom, she can hear you if you can't hear her. But be very gentle with yourself. It's a normal process of grief and very very hard.

[Elric]

Hey Raven, so sorry that you're grieving.

To add to what Belle said;

When an agnostic friend of mine was dying in much pain, we spoke a bit about the process when we pass over. When he died, I got a very clear message that he was delighted that he survived physical death, that he knows that we'll meet again, but in the meantime, life is for the living & he had much to do in his new environment. With that, he shot off like a rocket.
Just knowing that he was okay brought me much relief & contentment.

When someone passes over, I feel more for those left behind than for the one who've escaped the confines of the physical.

The most important thing for one to remember, is that loved ones on the other side, feel the emotions that are directed to them. Our grief & our love.
What Belle said; "...they go to be healed which can take any length of time." is very relevant.
Please forgive me if I sound a bit cold or lacking empathy, but what if your grief & pain for your loss, is what blocks you from hearing or sensing her loving presence when the times right for her?

A mothers love for her child never dies. Send your mother your love (some find lighting a candle nightly & focusing on the flame helps) In time, you will feel hers.

Dear Clover: Thank you for supporting me in my clumsiness, my humanness! I really appreciate you saying it's okay to be open with how I feel.

Dear Belle: you are so right that grief is a terrible journey. It makes me crazy! It's the up and down ... just when I start to get a glimmer of hope, "hey, I think I'm gonna be okay", then another storm wave comes crashing over me and I'm flipping and bobbing and sprawling all over! Thank you thank you for your reassuring words. I'm copying them to a page and posting it where I will see it everyday (along with the notes I took from other SF posts on this topic too.)

Dear Lucifer777: Thank you thank you for your story about your friend and for saying a mother's love for her child never dies. It just helps to hear someone else say it! Excuse me while I dab at my leaky eyes! And no you weren't being cold or un-empathetic. You're right in that this outlook I have feels extremely heavy and solid - like a big cold stone in the middle of my chest that won't let anything warm in or out. So there is some kind of blockage there.

I'm going to try the candle flame exercise right now. Cuz somewhere way down inside a tiny voice is saying, Yes. Your Mom still loves you, she remembers you, and she can hear you.

Thank you everyone. I can't tell you how much your responses have helped calm down this current wave of pain. Have a lovely evening.

[Belle]

Hi there

As you say, there are waves of pain. There is no blockage, it is a heart expansion. Grief of losing someone is the highest order and tests the heart to it's very limits and your heart is expanding which is why it's hurting so much. No blockage, if there was blockage there would be no pain.

There are things you can do to help this time. First of all, respect your mother's decision to move on when she did. That does involve respecting her leaving you. She's been a great mom to you and she knows you can fly without her physical presence. Secondly, remember the moments, the good times and the bad. Memories are precious and need to be kept alive. It helps create the spirit connection. And a final thing, why not write to your mother? you could start a thread of letters to your mother, or do it privately? I'm sure many of us here would love to hear about her if you cared to share? There is no right way or wrong way, it's what you feel comfortable with. But writing does help order the thoughts and keep the memories alive which helps with spirit connection.

There is a final thing regarding energetics. There is an enormous loss regarding never being in the physical presence of someone again. I remember someone telling me that when my father died and it really hit the nail on the head for me. There is something incredibly unique about the way you feel with a specific individual and knowing that you will never experience that feeling again is incredibly difficult. It will come together, never stop communicating with your mother, I believe you will find a way to reconnect

A lot of what you are saying is about how very real you are as a person, We can thank your mother for creating and nurturing such a wonderful real being, and how she will live on in you.

I too will light a candle.

[knightofalbion]

The passing of a close loved one, especially a beloved parent, is something that nothing prepares you for. And no matter how spiritual, or how strong your faith, or believe in survival of the spirit, it still hurts.

We do receive signs from Beyond. Sadly though, we are so choked up with grief that often we miss them, or we simply didn't recognise them as such.
But if you do get one, or even several, they are a tremendous source of comfort.

The spirit is immortal, life is a continuum - enough evidence of communication from the spirit world and NDEs to verify that.

Dear Raven Poet, if you send loving thoughts to your mother, she will receive them. Love will always find its mark.

When we are asleep - we aren't! The physical body is busy repairing itself and our spirit heads off to the world of spirit, where we can meet up with our loved ones.
But we have no memory of it when we awake.
We are here on Earth for a reason, to learn, to grow, if things were not 'cloaked' down, we'd totally be distracted from our task and our purpose.

Don't worry. All is well. She's still there.

Make a great life for yourself. Be happy, be a force for good and do her proud.

[wolfgaze]

I can empathize with you RavenPoet.... My Mom passed when I was 20 and it took me a long time to heal from that life experience...

To think that your mother has disappeared because she is not in contact with you is something I can't wrap my head around. I just mean to say, there is probably more to it than that. Your mothers afterlife isn't about you, it's about her. My apologies if that "sounds" rude, it is not meant to, there is just no tonal quality in this medium of communication...
Let me clarify using an example I can speak to because it is my own experience. My mother died when I was nine. She has never contacted me, ever. 23 years after her death however, when my daughter turned four, she started talking about her friend Alice- that was my mothers name. I let it go and my daughter continued her correspondence with my mother. At 4 years old I had never said a thing about my mother to my kid and there were no pictures of her either yet my daughter described her to a "T."
I can only speculate as to why my mother never made contact with me and I used to wonder about her love for me but not anymore. Now that I am a mother I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the love my daughter and I share is eternal and strong. So strong in fact that it cleared things up for me, perhaps my mother wasn't in contact with me because she knew I'd be ok. Perhaps she wanted me to find my own way and be stronger for it.
Perhaps she didn't question the bond herself and so never imagined I would.
The love you have with your mother is a thread in the tapestry for all time, nothing can change that, those threads will cross again when they are meant to.