Twin Flame Story- At a Hault

[lightspeednate]

I have a possible twin flame story to tell. Im 19 years old. I met a girl summer 2011 at a college registration (our college was down in the south) when filling out schedules and I remember barely talking to her and instead chose to talk to another girl at the table. I do remember the girl, who I barely talked to, reached across the table and shook my hand and I remember I felt something peaceful/calm about her. I remember we got lost in each other’s eyes a couple times kind of awkwardly, but it wasn't like any eye contact i have had before. She left the table since I wasn't including her in the convo and I had a little bit of trouble saying goodbye. I remember brushing it off and thinking that she wasn't even that hot and she was just really nice, alot like me and cute. I do remember feeling an increase in desire for love after meeting her for the rest of the summer, but I completely forgot she even existed.

Later that year in college I met her again on a on campus bus in early October, forgetting I even saw her from the summer. I was joking around with friends and she joined in and I was really shy, but my friends could tell I liked her. I instantly thought how pretty this girl seemed to be and I noticed how quickly she just felt comfortable with my friends and I. She was giggling when my friends were teasing me. My friends asked her what her first impression of me was and she said nice but shy. We arrived at a grille off campus and I remember my friends forced me to sit next to her for lunch, but they did most of the talking. I remember I could barely spit words out of my mouth but I asked her if I had seen her before. She just said "im not sure". I remember listening to her talk to my friends and I felt like I had found home.

I usually look very hard for love and this was like I had found what I wanted. I had crushes before, but this was an instant level of understanding. I wanted to just sit there forever; I have never felt so happy in the presence of someone else. Her voice, the way she thought, her eyes, her patience. I forgot that this was just a short lunch and that I wouldn't have forever to talk to her. I wanted it to be just me and her at the table, but it wasn't. It was her friend and my 3 friends. I remember I could barely converse with her because I was just so overwhelmed in emotions and my friends stole a lot of the attention. I got her number somehow with the assistance of my friends but just as an excuse for her to party with us sometime. I remember going back to my dorm that night and I felt as if I couldn’t focus. I could barely carry myself, I felt as if my soul was being sucked out of me. I remember I could barely even concentrate on what was going on around me and I felt like I was being taken away from my own world. I remember just staring at her photos on facebook for hours later that night, captivated by her photos. Everything else in the world stopped mattering to me. I had never met someone just took the words out of me like this.

Things came so naturally to her too (she is a libra). I noticed she has the same birthday as my best friend growing up. For some reason the fact that she was a libra made me feel even more excited. Libra's and Virgo's are kind of like the ultimate team in my opinion. They kind of live the lazy life together, but work so well together. They enjoy each other's company. I am a Virgo (birthday earlier in the month than her) with a lot of air in other categories, but I am very level headed, analytic, independent, shy, precise, conservative, fussy and things do not come too naturally to me (I need to work for them). I am good for Libras (because they need more strength, stability, loyalty), but they are even better for me (because they give me love, a sense of uniqueness/creativity and confidence). They are very sharp and good at word choice. She is just kind of a free-spirit, calm/balanced, beautiful, outgoing, diplomatic, things come naturally to her, but on the con side of that is she lives without much worrying. I can most certainly relate to some extent. But libras can be a little indecisive. In weeks following, I wanted to see her so badly. I started to feel as if my life had turned upside down and I was in love and that it will never turn back. I remember texting her asking her to hang out, and leaving her voice mails. She wasn't being too responsive.

I remember running into her at the library and she just brushed it off and said “ im sorry ive been busy, I got stuff to do”. I said “well do you wanna see me again or na?.” She said “yeah for sure we should all hang sometime”. I remember frustration overwhelmed me after that. I thought maybe ill never get a chance with her. I felt anxious and sad and I couldn’t control it. I remember really wanting to hang with her on Halloween and being really excited for Halloween for the next two weeks. It was to the point where I just wanted a chance. I kept hoping to run into her on campus and stir up a conversation. Then suddenly the night before Halloween she hallucinated and passed out at a very late hour. I had got information on Halloween day that her mom flew in and took her home. She was kept in a mental hospital for a few weeks where they found nothing wrong with her. She did not return to school.

I remember being really worried and texting her a lot in December. Finally she thanked me for caring and was showing appreciation for me caring. She apologized for ignoring me and said shes still recovering from this. But after that she stopped contacting me. Despite that I kept trying to continue to make attempts every month or two. I remember she deleted her facebook after Christmas (possibly out of confusion). But then later on in February she got it back and seemed happier and I found her address and sent her a valentines letter that was simple and thoughtful. I remember feeling happier after I sent that letter but soon summer neared and I saw on her facebook that she was going to college in California (I live in Maryland). I tried seeing how she was doing by calling her, but she said it’s never gonna happen, and that shes going away soon and if I dont mind stop texting her. I told her im not upset im just disappointed. I tried telling her: how would she even know whats going on if she never gave me a moment of her life. She threatened to block my number. I calmed down a little after that phone call.

Later in the month a relative of mine died in the same county she lived in and i was invited to the funeral (way up in the northeast). This would finally give me an opportunity to talk to her and I was full of tons of crazy emotions. In late June, On my drive up there I felt as if this was the chance of my life and that its a sign were gonna be together some day. I had never felt so intense upon the arrival. I remember after arriving, calling her, but her phone was off. After the funeral, I just walked all around her town but I could tell she wasn't around. I took everything in though. I wanted to wander around for a long time. Her town was beautiful and my heart was beating out of my chest. I admired it and could not get enough. I remember telling myself ill be back here in two weeks and im going to take a train and show up at her house. "If she isn’t there then screw it, no more."

A couple days before I was gonna go there again (in July), I got multiple phone calls from her randomly, but I didn't want to pick up. This was the first time she ever had the balls to contact me and show that she even knows that i exist. On that Saturday I took an early train to her town and showed up at her house. Her dad answered the door and she was at the top of the stairs in the balcony part looking down in a white dress. I remember her mouth just opened really widely and she said “what are you doing here?!”. I told her I wanted to hang, but she said she had work. I asked her why she called and she said "O that was nothing". I remember just staring into her eyes and then after a few long seconds she quickly walked out of the room. I briefly spoke to her dad and apologized. Then later I tried to wait up for her before taking the train home. She worked right by the train station. I saw her get in her car outside the starbucks (I was sitting in it) after she was done with work, so I came outside the store to call her but she quickly drove away. I realized This was exactly one year after we met. The funny thing is we were filling out our college registration schedules outside a starbucks in tables the day we met.

After this I remember her mom got my dads phone number and called worried and concerned about what happened. My dad thought I was crazy and he told me no more. I remember trying to call her to listen to her voice one more time and my dad got another phone call from the mom saying "stop! she has nothing against him, no more". My dad called back saying if she isn't interested, she should tell me and not the mom. I remember trying to re add her on facebook, and posted a video called "matisayhu- sunshine" on fb for her to see. I did it the night they sang "hey jude" before the olympics began. It was the song that played over and over in my brain. "don't let me down, you were made to go out and get her, remember to let her under your skin, then youll begin to make it better."

The next day I received a text from her saying she was not interested and that she wanted no form of contact with me and signed her name. Ever since then there has been lots of pulsing in areas all over my body. Sometimes my heart has been very sore. Sometimes I feel the urge to cry and my ears push back like dog ears. Sometimes my ears buzz or make wind noise. She is in my mind all of the time, everywhere I go. I smell my nose and it reminds me of her. I see 11:11 on clocks everywhere I go. I listen to a song "youre a tourist by death cab for a cutie". "This fire grows high" and "when theres a burning in your heart let it grow, dont be alarmed" are some of the lyrics. I also listen to "what you know by two door cinema club". Lyrics include "in a few weeks i will get time to realize its right before my eyes and I can take it if its what i want to do" and "I can tell just what you want, you dont want to be alone."

I hope there a bright days ahead. I can't help but be negative on myself sometimes and i don't want it break me. A lot of the time I want this so badly but I let my desires grow higher than they need to be. I want to be able to talk to her without it being so intense. I want to calm the "fire". At the same time I want these feelings to last forever. My feelings can be vibrant at times. I am sorting my feelings out everyday, and I can grow as time moves on. Sometimes I just worry. There are going to be times down the road in a few years when I probably will really want to get in contact with her.

Thanks for sharing your story :)

Do you often think things happen for a reason? That there are no coincidences? This is divine timing Hun and if u answered yes to those questions, then you can trust that if you and her are meant to cross paths again then you will - trying to control it is most likely going to cause you alot of heartache and her a whole heap of confusion.

Regardless of the connection, her boundaries must be respected - it doesn't mean you have to try and forget her or the love u have for her - it just means you must accept for now the situation as it is.

Good luck :)

[smARTistic girl]

It's maddening sometimes, this bond that we have (no matter how it's labeled), but it does have the ability to teach us to be better people - to help us learn what *real* love looks like. Unfortunately, it's not the romantic notion-filled stuff that society spoon feeds us. It's much deeper and more fulfilling... once you get past the longing/heartache stage. It's not easy, as a matter of a fact it is THE hardest thing I've ever gone through... and I've seen some hardships in my 41 years. But it *does* get better.

Sorry you are struggling now, though, I know it's hard. I hope you can learn what you need to in order to be able to deal with it all. This forum is a good place to start. All the best!

[SomewhereInTime]

Thanks for sharing your story. I agree with the other 2 previous posters.

Also, what SmARTistic said about the heartache and longing being the hardest thing, I have to agree 100%. Some days are extremely difficult. All I want to do is cry. Had 2 days like that this week, today being one of them. Those hard days like that make me wish I never laid eyes on him.