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Originally Posted by ssdm1
As I work more and more on letting go and trying to maintain a friendship with my twin, I'm wondering how I go back to my mundane, daily life.
After experience a deep love and connection like this, nothing seems exciting. I listen to friends excitedly talk about things like buying new appliances and this is so very dull to me.
How do we move back to a daily life after experiencing something so big in our lives? I'm trying to keep busy, find a hobby (boring), etc.
Suggestions? How are you handling it?
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Well, as you know he broke up with me only a week ago. But I don't feel this way. Yes, I am hurting, but I don't feel like this was the it so to speak. Life won't give you a 'only 1 best thing in the world', take it from you and leave you without for the rest of your life.
If you feel that way, you are blindsided by the connection. Dependent on it. A relationship/connection isn't your whole life, it is an aspect of your life.
So what you do? Work on those other aspects in life. Don't make that connection the only aspect or the largest aspect.
I know I will go out there again to find new love. I know it will be grant again. Because I trust the Universe. The Universe won't give me a great love, take it from me and leave me empty for the remainder of my life. If this didn't work out, it only means there is something better in store for me.
You didn't have a relationship with this man. You put yourself on the backburner, waiting, hoping, taking the crumbs he gave you while he was with another. That's where you go wrong. You should never settle for crumbs, you have to believe, know, sense, feel that you are worthy of great love. You are worthy of so much more than crumbs!
And TF or no, if the other gives you nothing but crumbs, that connection isn't serving you.
You have to try and shift your focus, which will take time. But it's a matter of understanding and self-love. Knowing you are worthy, and are worthy of so much more!
YOu are also worthy to be happy, even now, without another partner. You don't need a partner to be happy. If you do, you're going about it the wrong way. You should be able to be happy, to make yourself happy, and then you are ready for a great connection. Not the other way round. Needing someone so that then you feel happy is the wrong way around.
So focus on yourself for a change. What are your goals in life? What makes you happy? Who are you? What is your own true core essence? Is it teaching? Spreading love? What is it.
I worked that one out some 4 years ago. It is SO important to know your own core essence, because once you do you get clear what you came to do here.
My core essence is JOY. I am here to spread joy, to share with people, to connect them, align them, by being joy. That is the essence of my Soul.
Was quite the revelation as I always thought it was teaching. But teaching feels too heavy for me. Joy is much lighter.
Find out what your essence is, so you know what you are to do this life. Which isn't pining over a man you cannot get. If you haven't a clue, think about what made you happy as a child.
Was it painting, playing outdoors, building things from scratch? As a child you were pure and did the things you really loved, that resonated with you. There you can find what your passions are.
Find out, then start doing them. And get your focus of this man. That will take time, but even I manage to do it, even though it's barely been a week since we broke up.
And truly accept that you can think he's the right one for you, but that he isn't. If he was, he'd be with you.
I'm working on that too, and yes, it's hard to accept, it hurts. But it IS the truth. If my TF had been the right one for me now, he'd be with me now. Clearly we weren't ready yet. You cannot live in that pain and hold on to what isn't and never was for the rest of your life. You can, but then you'll be miserable for the rest of your life and will never again experience that great love that you long for.
What I do, keep working on my goals, which is giving workshops, writing books, painting. I want to get out of my benefit situation and I want to move out of this area. I'm going to actively work on that. Will likely start a study so I can put these things in motion.
I listen to Abraham Hicks in between to get me to a higher vibration so I am not hurting so much.
I am truly working on letting go of him, which isn't easy. But I know I will be the one suffering if I don't. He won't suffer, he's moving on. Which is what I intend to do as well. I flatly refuse to live in pain and bitterness and hoping and waiting for him to come back for the rest of my life.
And yes, part of me does hope and think he is going to come back. But if this is true, he won't when I'm waiting around for him. This can and will only happen when I too move on right now. Because there is a reason for us splitting up. Clearly we need others to learn different things. Maybe after that we can come together again. Maybe not.
In the meantime I want to live, be happy, enjoy life.
And another thing.... in one sense it is a relief that it is over, even though it hurts. Why? Because now I don't have to stress and doubt and fear anymore if he's going to get in touch, if he will or will not want me and so on.
Now I'm thinking, and not saying this as judgement, but if I can do this a week after we broke up an intense love relationship, you can do it too.
It's a matter of self-worth, self-love, and sheer willpower. I flatly refuse to let this bring me down for good.
I am worthy of a man who's willing to not just go the extra mile for me, but the whole friggin road! I AM worthy and I love myself enough to be able to get that, and I will find that. I know this is in my vortex, I myself put it there.
That line of thinking will get you out of your holding pattern. It will take time, you may slip back, as will I. But I will get out again just the same. Because I am worthy. Not only worthy of that great partner, but I am also worthy to be happy, day in day out, with or without a partner. You cannot and must not rely on another to make you happy. Then you give all your power away and it leaves you with nothing when they go.
Love yourself, give it to yourself. You too are worthy of love. But you got to start with believing, knowing, feeling that AND giving that love to yourself.
Then you'll see love everywhere, you will enjoy life, friends, hobbies. It only appears to be dull now because you still make that man the largest aspect of your life. Don't do that. He is one aspect of your life. Just one. All other aspects should be fulfilling and bring you joy too. But you don't allow them to because you are blindsided by this one aspect. SHift your focus and you'll be all right. You really will be, I am doing it myself, even though my heart is aching for losing my relationship and the man I love to bits. If I can do it, you can too. Trust yourself, and the Universe.
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