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Old 28-05-2019, 10:56 PM
FallingLeaves FallingLeaves is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,876
 
some prose

well i been all sorts of people in all sorts of places, including places that in the past were considered the 'future' from where we stand today.

It wouldn't surprise me if I'd been you too sometimes, and vice versa.

before realizing that I remember one day so long ago thinking 'the world speaks to me' though. All I remember from that day is lots and lots of balloons...

but mostly since then I been terrified for my life. Trying to be considered 'sane' in this insanity that passes for our world is draining after all. And all I had around me then were people who were very rigid in their thinking. But I guess really that was nothing new, just a rehash of my childhood in a wild new way.

In some ways wish I had just gone the insanity within the insanity route... as dealing with the so called 'real world' isn't such fun any more. And at least if I'm insane I don't have to go to such effort to pretend I'm not.

And then there was the fact that after a point I associated most of all this with you, but you didn't want me... lives like this it is one more rejection, one more betrayal, one more painful thing at a time.

But you always want me to deny what I honestly feel about all this and be full of love & light for you, even while getting ready to pull the rug out from under my feet. again. sigh.
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