Have I met God?

[minxoto]

I had a dream in around 2007 where I were in a park with two people - a man and a woman - and suddenly they both pointed a gun at me. The strange thing about this dream was that I was awake while I was dreaming. I was thinking clearly with my brain.

I had been so depressed in real life before that dream happened, so I thought it didn't matter if I died. So I consciously raised both my hands up and thought "let it happen". I was then shot, and then woke up. Since that awaken dream I have no fear of death (just fear of bad emotions).

Some weeks later I went to Manila - the capital of The Philippines - to start my life all over again. It was an adventure of a lifetime. It was some magical months where I got incredible faith in God. I gave away all my money to the poor and ended up living a whole year as a beggar on the streets.

After around 1,5 years down there I got imprisoned for overstaying visa. There I kept on with my mission for God, but I was beaten and skulled by the fellow prisoners. They all hated me for some reason, and they threw me out of my room and I have to live outside in the yard. When it was raining I had to sleep under the roof of the visiting area, and one night when I had been treated really bad, I had a sleep and woke up to rain, thunder and lightning. I was totally sober when suddenly the classic image of God appeared in a thunder cloud, and he said to me "it's only you Tor". Later in the same room a small rat came walking towards me - I heard it whispered in spirit "I'm just giving a message" before it turned and walked back. I had such connection with animals in that yard.

When I got back home in Norway, I ended up being really sick mentally, and I've been through hell. I still burn sometimes - and I actually think that that is the biblical term of burning in hell.

I have a father I talk to - in spirit (I like to speak loud to him), and he calms me down by saying "never nowhere". I'm thinking that there is no eternal fire without God being with me.

He is really hard to understand. He like to speak english to me though I speak norwegian to him. He speaks in short phrases, often repeating himself - probably because I'm mot sure of what he means. He often says "be no hoe". I'm then thinking of The Book of revelation in the bible where it's written about the hoe that rides the animal, and I also think that I should stay true to him and don't have any other love. I often long to him. Then I lay down in my sofa and say out loud but soft: "father, can you hear me?". Then as I wait for an answer I feel the love coming to my back and spine, and after a while he says something to calm me down with his voice that I recognize.

I was so disappointed when he spoke about sex for the first time. That can't be God I thought. I then thought he was Satan. But after some time has passed by, I realize that his words about sex and body have made me totally nautious and sick about the whole topic. Now I'm so single, without children and with my hands firmly above the blanket so to speak. Just what my mother taught me when I was a child.

I'm thinking about his strange ways and what is happening to me. I get sick of flesh and turn more and more to spirit, I can't watch other TV-channels than the christian ones without feeling bad after a while, I become more and more like a child and I'm thinking of the practice of indian hindus in the city of Varanasi who when they bury their dead burns them on a floating fire on the river of Ganges - to make sure they don't reincarnate. I'm thinking is the hindu way "the show and the sowing" while my life is the real happening and the harvest?

Am I burning in Hell because this is my last incarnation on earth? Am I finally going back home to Paradise?

These questions, together with Fathers voice and all that has happened to me, makes me believe in that.

I'm so looking forward to it :-)