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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #1  
Old 28-09-2019, 01:09 AM
TXGemini TXGemini is offline
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Posts: 392
 
Question No opportunity to have a relationship (soulmate)

Hi All -

What happens to people who never get the chance to love and have a soulmate? Or even have the chance to experience a romantic love affair?

I mean those of us who want to experience the opportunity but love has eluded us for whatever reason---not love and loss, but rather never have loved but want to do so?

People say go out and mingle where are, sign up for dating sites, but what if you've done that and no one responses? I've been single my entire adult life---31 years.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my life. I love my singlehood, freedom to do what I want, when I want to do it. But what is the specialty of some people are single and some people are coupled?

I just don't get it. It's like I missed orientation (and didn't turn in the necessary paperwork before my birth in baby Heaven) or something. There's some people I talk to who got married a week after college graduation or while still in college. No one even approached me in high school, in college, after college, or even now.

I guess I'm not approachable. When I talk to guys they all say I'm nice, sweet, cute, girl next door, blah blah blah. I'm in my 40s....these terms have gotten old to hear....they don't help me.

I'm sitting here--never been in a relationship, no marriage, no kids...nothing to show but 3 degrees and a job.
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  #2  
Old 28-09-2019, 03:35 AM
ocean breeze ocean breeze is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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Have you ever asked a guy out on a date? If you feel unapproachable then maybe do the approaching.

Quote:
What happens to people who never get the chance to love and have a soulmate? Or even have the chance to experience a romantic love affair?

Nothing. Like anything, its what you make of it.
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  #3  
Old 28-09-2019, 03:45 AM
TXGemini TXGemini is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocean breeze
Have you ever asked a guy out on a date? If you feel unapproachable then maybe do the approaching.


Nothing. Like anything, its what you make of it.

Actually I have...that's where I've gotten, "you are great, wonderful, sweet, kind, cute, but I like you as a friend, little sister, don't want things to get awkward" speech.

I've even asked girl and guy friends (who are all married) to play match maker for me and they either say, 1) they don't know anyone, 2) everyone they know is married, 3) guys they know aren't 'good enough' for me.

It's really gotten to the point it's not even funny anymore.

I've done the church thing as well. However, my church only has parties and dances for a certain age limit of 55 and older, divorced and/or widowed and since I don't match the criteria, I am not allowed to attend the dances.

My former church had a singles group but it got disband because it had more couples in the group than singles; 1) the couples didn't meet in the group, and 2) the couples basically was using it as a way to make friends rather than as a support group for singles...the singles had nothing in common with the couples and vice versa.
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  #4  
Old 28-09-2019, 04:51 AM
ad infinitum ad infinitum is offline
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Posts: 31
 
I'm so sorry, Gemini. I wish I had some insight that would help. You sound like a lovely person, and I can't imagine why it's been so hard for you to find someone. I know it's not the same thing at all, but would you ever consider being a foster parent? Maybe you would find that a fulfilling relationship?
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  #5  
Old 28-09-2019, 10:59 AM
kundalinikid kundalinikid is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 837
 
If I knew I'd tell you.

I've been in the same situation for years.

I'm not sure if I am socially awkward, or unattractive, or unlikeable? I do know mostly just my immediately family is interested in seeing me regularly. This includes friends.
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  #6  
Old 28-09-2019, 11:35 AM
NoOne NoOne is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,265
 
Gemini, there are some hard truths you will have to face, in order to get out of your current predicament.

If you have never been in a relationship, it gets harder, the older you get. That is just the way nature works, unfortunately. Like most things, dating and meeting people is a skill, if you have never done it, you probably suck at it.

That's ok, you just have to admit that to yourself and be upfront and honest about it with men you might meet. The easiest way to overcome that is to start dating, so set yourself up on some dating sites and start going on dates even if the men you meet aren't up to scratch. It doesn't matter, you just need to practice and get your confidence up. Once your confidence increases, men will notice you more and you will start getting better dates with higher quality men, but you have to start somewhere. Eventually, chances are, you will meet the right one for you.

Also, you might need to get out of your comfort zone a bit, look further afield, perhaps even abroad, travel a bit if you can, force yourself into new situations and experiences, such as classes or courses. It isn't rocket science, but you have to start doing it, with no expectations as to the outcome, just doing it for its own sake, to get some practice and build confidence.

Good luck,
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  #7  
Old 28-09-2019, 11:41 AM
hazada guess
Posts: n/a
 
Well,i am a male and have had a lot of relationships where I found love but unfortunately my partner at the time didn't,lol.
Now,I'm in my late 50's and find I couldn't cope with another relationship and am quite happy with my 3 cat,s.
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  #8  
Old 28-09-2019, 02:31 PM
JosephineB JosephineB is offline
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Location: The green & pleasant land
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You're not on your own OP, it's sh1t.
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I salute the Divinity in you.
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  #9  
Old 28-09-2019, 03:57 PM
TXGemini TXGemini is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ad infinitum
I know it's not the same thing at all, but would you ever consider being a foster parent? Maybe you would find that a fulfilling relationship?

That's one of the 'go to' solutions many people suggest is animals and children to single people unfortunately. I am searching for a connection that can only be fulfilled with adult human interaction and companionship.
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  #10  
Old 28-09-2019, 04:18 PM
TXGemini TXGemini is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 392
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoOne
Gemini, there are some hard truths you will have to face, in order to get out of your current predicament.

If you have never been in a relationship, it gets harder, the older you get. That is just the way nature works, unfortunately. Like most things, dating and meeting people is a skill, if you have never done it, you probably suck at it.

Good luck,

Well, for me at least that's not the problem. I'm an extroverted person, I have lots of friends and my job allows me to be out and about alot. When I've had honest communication with my guy friends throughout high school, college, and even now as what my problem is---why guys won't date me I get the feedback of "I'm so nice, little sister quality."

Honestly---they see me in the same category of their moms, sisters, or aunt, not as a sexy woman who they could take to bed and have a romp in the hay. I had this conversation with my twin (before he left) and he even blatantly refused to introduce me to guys he knew were eligible--he went all daddy mode on me.

A female friend who is known to successfully match make several couples (to marriage) has tried to set up a match making party at her home for me 3x--each time it has been cancelled due to forces of nature---a flash flood, one hurricane, and snow. She's given up because she said that's never happened to her before and she thinks God is telling her to not interfere.

I've even asked my guy friends to match make me with some of their guy friends who may be single or divorced and the horrid look on their faces---I thought they were having a stroke or heart attack. Each of them gave the same response, "Oh, no, you're too sweet/nice/adorable to match with D/G/F. He's a dog/thug and you're a lady.

I can't seem to break out of this "Mother Mary/Queen Elizabeth" persona people have of me that I'm never supposed to date/have sex/get married. That I'm supposed to be the old maid of the town and not have romantic thoughts/feelings/companionship.

I feel like I'm the opposite of Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter...like there is some invisible force field hanging over me.

I've even asked them whether I'm attractive, and they all agree that I am. My girlfriends agree that I dress appropriately but that do give off a persona of church girl, bring home to girl, not a roll in the hay. At this point, I'm just asking for companionship.

I've got cousins who have been married 4 or 5 times and they keep saying I'm lucky because I'm still stuck at the gate at least they got out of the starting gate and running down the track.
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