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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > General Beliefs

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  #31  
Old 16-01-2011, 01:55 PM
shepherd
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So while you can naturally look towards people's emotions, thoughts and background to explain what's going on, there is a lot of biology in this as well. We're all made differently.

I also feel very lonely in large groups of people and I don't believe it's because I'm with the 'wrong' kind, it's simply how I'm made. I crave time alone to connect with myself. My son is autistic and he struggles with other people - he smply can't connect with them. Autism is an extreme form of a spectrum that everyone falls on somewhere.

Definitely Starbuck, some people have biological reasons which explain how they are in groups of people and it's said that especially men are at risk of various ranges of autism. As there is often no way of knowing if there is a biological reason then I work to help them change the way their minds see groups so they can manage and do something different.

it's very easy to get caught up and trapped in a comfort zone which feels good but in someways is just another form of imprisonment. There is a choice and you know if there is a problem when there is tension when thinking of stepping outside of it.
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  #32  
Old 16-01-2011, 01:58 PM
Gem Gem is online now
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I wonder of the folks who like to be alone, how alone really are you? Do you have friends?
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  #33  
Old 16-01-2011, 02:12 PM
Summerland
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Originally Posted by Gem
I wonder of the folks who like to be alone, how alone really are you? Do you have friends?

I have a lot of friends who ask me to go out to dinner, shopping, to a play or movie. And as with ciqala, I find the conversations sometimes very inane and superficial. Very few people are aware of what is going on in the world, even such news as with the flooding in Australia or So America. Unaware of the birds and fish dying, no thought of the spiritual realm. So I have a few treasured friends that I will spend time with,but they live out of town. In the meantime, I like my own company , finding info on the net, reading and crocheting. Maybe it comes down to how we prefer to spend out time.
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  #34  
Old 16-01-2011, 02:46 PM
clovelly
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I have several strong, longtime friendships and many friends, but I still love being alone. My favorite time in my life was living in the country by myself where I did not know anybody. Friends would come and visit and I couldn't get to leave fast enough. Balancing my time alone and with friends is important in my life and has always been a challenge.
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  #35  
Old 16-01-2011, 02:53 PM
SeaZen SeaZen is offline
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There is nothing wrong or pathological about being a loner. Its a preference. Self realization can come when one is a loner or when one connects with others.

Those who choose to withdraw because of "past negative social situations" aren't necessarily dysfunctional and in need of therapy. They merely do not wish to place themselves in social situations and engage in inane small talk with people of "lower vibrations" who interact solely out of their ego. It is an unnecessary waste of time. Unfortunately, at this point in time many people of this earth vibrate at that ego based lower level.

At this point in my existence and evolution, I prefer the majority of my free time (after work and weekends) to "devote to myself" (This is more accurate terminology than "being alone"). I will however go out to the neighborhood bar on occasion and will risk wasting my time with ego based individuals in order to find someone of a higher vibration capable of that "inner connection" of joyous laughter, frivolity and mutual interest.

I do have friendships I have maintained over the years, but they are thankfully quite free i.e. there is no need or requirement to connect on a "regularly scheduled basis". I have also been quite blessed with my "clique" at work (male and female friends) with whom to engage in jokes, racy topics and playful flirtatiousness. I guess I feel a wonderful balance of being alone and being with others.

The best most fulfilling spiritual part about being with others IMO, is to give and elicit joy and laughter in one another. This is definitely one way of making that "inner connection" heather was speaking of. It is a heart and soul connection that goes beyond superficial ego based conversation/connection.
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  #36  
Old 16-01-2011, 10:18 PM
flutterangel
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Working around people and children all day, helping any way I can, is something I love to do. Also being an empath, and because of this, I find I need even more alone time. I would consider myself a loner who can be social. It feels conflicting even to me!
I know some already answered this, but am curious as to who has always been a loner and who is becoming one the further down your spiritual path you go? I posted about this before SF went down...I have found that more and more, I just don't "fit in." It has affected relationships with family as well as friends. It is harder to relate to certain people, and I don't want to spend time on superficial relationships anymore. I still love them, but don't seek out social experiences usually. I would rather stay home, read a book, surf SF or play with the kiddos. Being that they are extroverts; the hubby, son(6) and at times daughter(8), I need more alone time to balance and deal with the energy overload!
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  #37  
Old 17-01-2011, 04:54 AM
Gem Gem is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Summerland
I have a lot of friends who ask me to go out to dinner, shopping, to a play or movie. And as with ciqala, I find the conversations sometimes very inane and superficial. Very few people are aware of what is going on in the world, even such news as with the flooding in Australia or So America. Unaware of the birds and fish dying, no thought of the spiritual realm. So I have a few treasured friends that I will spend time with,but they live out of town. In the meantime, I like my own company , finding info on the net, reading and crocheting. Maybe it comes down to how we prefer to spend out time.

I don't think people with friends know what it is to be alone.
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  #38  
Old 17-01-2011, 05:00 AM
Silver Silver is offline
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Amen to that statement, Gem.

I have a co-worker who has a cell phone or two, with one almost permanently attached to her ear, and she is a doll, we laugh and have a great time together, but I can scarcely comprehend why she seems to NEED constant contact with her family and circle of friends etc.
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  #39  
Old 17-01-2011, 08:02 AM
NightSpirit NightSpirit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angel62
i had my kids and they all grew up and they keep saying why do you like being alone....... im more comfortable being in my own company,

See I'm like this to angel. I don't spend a whole lot of time with my family and then I begin to think "Are they mad at me? Do they think I'm selfish?"...and then I get an attack of the guilts over it. But honestly, I'd rather not be on top of them all the time. Maybe I am selfish as I very much enjoy doing my own thing...or maybe it comes with age LOL. Sure, I have a partner but we're quite happy to split our time into his n her time...it works for us very well and makes a happy household.

We don't have a group of friends....don't need them. We are happy in our own company and do things together.
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  #40  
Old 17-01-2011, 08:40 AM
psychoslice psychoslice is offline
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Its a beautiful gift to really enjoy your own company and I am so glad that I was given this gift, where does this gift come from ?, well of course it comes from within, its the Realization that you are all that there IS, so how could you ever be alone ?.
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