Some of you May NOT Like this...but HONESTLY...a Married TF?

[gypsymystique]

You know, if I were married and my spouse told me he'd met his twin flame, I'd tell him to go be with her if that is what he wanted. It would not be in me to hold someone back from what they felt they needed to do.

I'd much rather he go on and fulfill his soul's purpose than stay with me because he felt some sort of obligation due to a piece of paper. Few seem to share my viewpoint.

Originally Posted by gypsymystique

You know, if I were married and my spouse told me he'd met his twin flame, I'd tell him to go be with her if that is what he wanted. It would not be in me to hold someone back from what they felt they needed to do.

I'd much rather he go on and fulfill his soul's purpose than stay with me because he felt some sort of obligation due to a piece of paper. Few seem to share my viewpoint.

I share your viewpoint!!!!! I do!!!

To me, demanding a person stay married to you because they said they would - or worse - cutting them off from someone they love is no better than being a prison warden. I don't believe in karma, but if I did those are the people who should get stuck with it. In fact, the idea of forcing someone (or pressuring them, or begging them) to stay with me makes me sick to my stomach.

Originally Posted by catatonic

twin flame or not, i believe that you have to be faithful with your partner.
if you want to be with your tf or whatever, you have to let your partner go.
sigh...

What about open relationships in which there is no expectation on either side to be faithful?

Originally Posted by metarealityseeker

I'm sorry if I sound 'harsh' but I need to vent

First of all, tell me that the universe, source, higher self, god whatever floats ones boat in labels, would condone tearing apart a marriage or having this secret TF (supposedly) for the sake of someone's uncontrolled passion?

I have been on both sides of the coin and NEITHER is fun. Karma has a real nice way of kicking cheaters in the edit.

I met my TF while he was still married. SHAME ON ME however he had not slept with his 'wife' for almost two years and they separated very soon after we met up. HOWEVER when we went through the 'run' stage, he ran back to an old karmic girlfriend from 13yrs ago (didn't last but a few weeks) but let me tell you, I got a taste of my own medicine and it hurt and still does like HELL.

I have a hard time seeing some of these posts of people claiming they have a TF and they are married as if!!!! There are consequences folks and let me tell you, if a woman came along and decided my fiance was her freaking TF I would have more than just words to say, anyway he wouldn't fall for that ****.

Why are we not careful? Why is it that we loose track of what we DO UNTO OTHERS IS ALREADY DONE TO US????

Do you want to feel the hurt you are causing others?

Believe me, it sucks and trust me YOU DON'T

SO before getting carried away with this fantasy that a married person is your TF, I hope you proceed with caution and know exactly what you are getting into!!!!

You are causing suffering and pain and I just don't see how that will ever come back positive.

Good Grief....

yikes! sorry to hear about what happened to you. i hope you'll be ok.

i cant say i dont agree with all this, because i do, i honestly do. because i dont have a TF to begin with, i mostly see all these claims as infatuation (sexual frustration, desire, fantasy, blah blah blah)

but it can actually happen..RARELY....TFs can meet and one -or both- can be married to other people. but i dont think this is true for everyone. i also believe that the married ones could actually start falling apart before they meet with their TF, because they're supposed to be single when they meet.

take care of yourself. the night is darkest right before the dawn, so there is hope

Originally Posted by SerpentQueen

What about open relationships in which there is no expectation on either side to be faithful?

What is the point of relationship/marriage in that case?
Just be a single and free to be with anybody else.
Why bother with a relationship or marriage?

Originally Posted by Nada

What is the point of relationship/marriage in that case?
Just be a single and free to be with anybody else.
Why bother with a relationship or marriage?

Haha. So relationships and marriages are only about limiting each other's thoughts, feelings and behaviors?

Originally Posted by Nada

What is the point of relationship/marriage in that case?
Just be a single and free to be with anybody else.
Why bother with a relationship or marriage?

Well, my goal has always been about intimacy (emotional intimacy), not a piece of paper. Being free and single doesn't necessarily gain you the type of deep intimacy that living together under one roof gets you. Of course you can do that without the paper. But that paper does stand for something that has little to do with sexual fidelity: it stands for a commitment to the person you trust with 1) your health (they make your medical decisions if you can't) 2) your money (they inherit from you).

As for open marriage, to be in one, it requires a high degree of honesty. A level of honest, open communication like you just cannot believe. You have to confront your fears and insecurities, and yes, your jealousies, and work through them. It requires unconditional love -- in action. It requires being able to be happy that your partner is happy -- even if it's in the arms of someone else.

That's very very different than being free and single and just dating around.

[gypsymystique]

From what people tell me, the open relationships are a lot of hard work because communication has to be so honest and up front.

To me, it seems it's the rigid, inflexible bonds that tend to break. My (open) marriage is more like a partnership with fluid connections that move and bend. I'd say this is what has allowed our marriage to be strengthened by the ever-changing landscape of our lives.

Originally Posted by Jatd

Serpent Queen. thank you so much for sharing what you did! WOW!!!! THANK YOU!!!

YW :-)

Forgive yourself, and Go and sin no more, my dear...