has anyone accused you of being mad?

Originally Posted by Firefly Dancer

Oh how can it relate to that !! I have gone through a lot of rejection and misunderstandings with my family since my awakening. They think I am crazy, and even if I have not shared so much with them. The only supportive person I have around is my Mother, and only because she is also very spiritually awake and she is open minded.

I started channeling, contacting guides, learning tarot, meditating, researching, reading, having psychic experiences... my facebook posts went from silly stuff to spiritual only LOL my family says I have gone fanatic but I am not talking about this all day long or pushing people to believe me. I live my life as always, I just give time to my prayers and meditation and I do read the cards and I am in constant touch with guides but I do not mention that to everybody else.

The thing that hurted me the most was the reaction of the love of my life over stuff like that ( we had conflict because of differences in the way we see love and spirituality and I sense he somehow he either did not believe in what I told him or considered I was making things up ) I was brought to him very spiritually leaded and it was the weirdest, freakiest thing ever happened to me, but the most sincere as well in my life. If there was someone who would have understand me, it would have been him, but anyways, as all in life,maybe this was a lesson for self reliance.

So yes...I have been accused to be mad, fanatic, crazy, schizo, head in the clouds, you name it. I guess sometimes people are not comfortable when they see how much you changed. Remember, "change" sometimes fuel anxiety and fear, so that is a natural response.

I am not mad or hurt at the people who labeled me. I understand and try to put myself in their position and see that it is not easy to notice such a huge change in a person they believed they knew so well.... or to have someone suddenly expecting from them so much and loving unconditionally out of the blue.

I agree becoming psychic makes you sometimes lonelier... cause people run away from what they cannot understand / embrace / or challenges them.

But we have this wonderful community here !!

Blessings
Firefly.

Thanks for this,
I have been called insane my entire life. I was born with spiritual gifts, and adopted into a family that did not understand. They forced me into mental asylums through my whole childhood and teenage years.

The more I ascended, all people in my life were torn from me and it is so heartbreaking and lonely in the times I am mourning since I am all alone now. Granted when I am doing well it does not phase me.
Even the few spiritual people in my life that did understand me were taken from me by means of what felt like very harsh divine intervention.
All of the outside ways in which I knew how to comfort myself to make things better have been removed painfully, so that I can be forced to learn to accept my own independence and give myself love. Sometimes I can, but the last two days I can't, I've been so broken.
I mean change happened very forcefully. I used to be an alcoholic even, but every time I even try to turn to that to resolve the pain I feel, I can't because I no longer want to. All of my options of a way out are no longer options, and so I have to deal with the hurt that I feel, that I feel truly hurt by my parents for not being able to be here for me now, not caring, not knowing me, not knowing who I really am, ect.
Part of it is, last night after new years I told my mom I felt like i wanted to die, and she carelessly left me there alone, because she thought going to sleep was more important than my life. People keep hurting me like this a lot, repeatedly, and sometimes it's completely out of their nature and things I do not deserve. And it just makes the reason I feel like I don't want to be here even bigger.

Well, I have no friends now. And no people in my life at all. Even my best friend who I relied on is gone. Even support workers and psychologists are being pulled from me.

I don't have my parent's on my side either and that hurts more than anything because family has always meant so much to me. My mom was always my crutch and go to person. Now I don't have any support and I have nobody. Absolutely nobody to talk to, and no one understands me. It seems the more spiritual I get, the more I realize what I have with my spirit guides is not enough to full-fill me anymore either.
I swear days like today and yesterday, the loneliness feels so awful that I wish I was dead, sometimes I want to leave this place and be on the other side because I know there is love there and I really, really want that so bad. I just... really don't want to be here on earth anymore and I am so overwhelmed with that sense today and I dont understand it because it's not like me.

And I realized not many people care. They just truly, truly don't care. And it's not that they don't care about me, and that I shouldn't take it personally, it's just that they are careless about everything, they aren't sensitive and they don't feel, and they care more about their Ipads more than the state of the world.
And I really don't know what to say that's encouraging,
in the last two days I feel so low and I really know that it is part of the changes going on,
but feeling like this is too unbearable that I no longer care for what purpose this pain is anymore,
I haven't been able to find clarity or peace no matter how many times i try and sleep on it, or to meditate, no matter how many times my spirit guide tries to comfort me, and even today i went for a long run and that didn't help relieve it either. Maybe I just have to wait it off. I am just in so much pain right now.

Originally Posted by Holly

Honestly, I get told at least weekly, if I tell anyone what I do! I've been a channel for a year and a half. I had a spontaneous awakening. One day I'd never heard a word or even had a psychic experience and the next, I was hearing, sensing and feeling full blown transmissions from first one archangel, then many. To make matters worse I then started to abruptly evolve from what they were teaching me, burning up all my old fears until many of my psychological problems like low self esteem were healed, which permanently changed my life!

This exact same thing happened to me, only just 6 months ago. Since I was awakened, I can channel my guides at anytime. I think my guides are also of angelic origin for the comments they make, but sometimes they seem to me as if they have been already incarnated before cause they know human nature quite well.

Originally Posted by Holly

think a lot of people are scared of channels and psychics, and even MORE scared of the beings who speak through us. I think they even worry that by sitting in the same room, our angels or guides will uncover their secret fear and shame, or take news of their 'sins' to God! The only way to make themselves feel safer is to discredit us, which can cause us a lot of pain and upset.

I agree. I have given messages to other people and they have felt threatened. I channel and also read the Tarot ( although sometimes I feel the Tarot would not be really necessary anymore but I enjoy it ) and for example one reading where my brother was told about him being too much in the material, not giving enough of himself after he has been so blessed, etc and he jumped right at me and said my Tarot was "threatening him" LOL same has happened to channeled messages, my guides seem not to be very comfortable, sometimes not even to me LOL

Originally Posted by Holly

I often question my own sanity, usually when someone else does! Then I go and talk to my guide, Azrael, and I calm down and realise I'm actually just fine. He always manages to reassure me! Channels are just tuned to a different frequency. What a lot of people don't understand is that channelling and psychic awareness isn't a hobby - it's a way of life, often foisted upon us when we expect it least. It takes time and energy to harness the storm of information and personal growth which follows awakening to channel, time we'd spend more wisely on our needs than on doubts about our sanity!

Oh same here !! in the beginning I was this close to start meds for schizo. I was falling apart, collapsing, the awakening was so rude and fast my mind had issues to cope and sometimes I felt so exhausted and scared, I thought I was literally going mad. But after some weeks I embraced it and it got easier. It is a blessing but sometimes yes, it can alienate you from others. I only tried once to tell some relatives, even my ex that I was channeling and they looked at me as if I had gone mad. So, I stopped trying to explain and now I just keep it for myself or when my guides want to share and channel for someone else, I let the other people know the message, and they would determine if they believe it or not.

Originally Posted by Holly

advice is simply- don't tell too many people too soon. There'll be times you just want to get away from your gift, or at least, times you'll want to forget for a few hours and do something mundane.

You gotta keep with your regular life, channeling is like now you carry a wi-fi connection to talk to your guides 24/7 and it is nice you can talk to them anytime you like, but that does not mean that you cannot turn it off to go to the movies or just do your stuff. When needed, my guides can channel constantly during a day, then the next day not so much or just once a day, but each time I feel hopeless and lonely they manage to find a way to comfort me either they contact directly to provide support, or through syncronicities they do so ( like my Catholic sister last week told me that in prayer she felt the need to call me the next day and tell me that I was not alone, that God was with me )

Originally Posted by Holly

done quite a bit of research into mental illness since I began channelling. I haven't yet found a mental illness which is wholly loving in its nature. My yardstick is this - if the contact is loving, beneficial and positive, then it doesn't come from your mind! It's not a disorder. The mind is typically self destructive, unlike channelled contact with higher beings, which is never, ever destructive.

I agree. I could not really find schizo symptoms to be like what I have been feeling. Some say that probably it is only us talking to us and we think it is someone else, but my guides would sometimes point at me things I did not know or I did not wanted to do or see and they were right, and I was being stubborn. All their guidance has been right on and spotless, so at this stage after 6 months chanelling I stopped doubting my guides and my sanity and I just hear them and let them lead me.

Originally Posted by Holly

It's just like being a big radio receiver. If you're tuned to the right frequency you can pick up the broadcast. If not, you just get static.

Funny. That is how I have also described this in the past. Like a radio receiver that suddenly got tuned to the right frequency, and not only that... bad emotions like anger, fear, etc are also like radio waves too and if you learn how to un-tune to them you can control these feelings that suddenly can come after you and alter your inner peace. It is amazing, but that is how it works

Glad to hear someone else is on the same page !!

Firefly.

Originally Posted by Ciqala

I swear days like today and yesterday, the loneliness feels so awful that I wish I was dead, sometimes I want to leave this place and be on the other side because I know there is love there and I really, really want that so bad. I just... really don't want to be here on earth anymore and I am so overwhelmed with that sense today and I dont understand it because it's not like me.

Ciqala, you posted at the same time as me.

I totally hear you on what you describe and it has happened to me as well. I seem to have lost in the way many people around me and I was scared about loneliness. Plus the holidays do not help neither.

However, I can tell you that the Divine always puts, takes away or brings back people in your life that really matters and really has to be there. Maybe you are in a secluded time and trust me, I sense I am somehow headed towards that as well ( I am recently divorced and I have sensed I have to learn now to live on my own ) but I am sure it will not always be like this, and take comfort that on the other side there are souls who love us and are rooting for us and who know what a huge challenge it is to incarnate on earth. There is a reason and a mission for you to be here, you just need to find it.

My guides are working with me a lot on the "not putting one´s happiness in the hands of someone else". I guess all I can say is the same they are telling me : try as much as possible to be whole and complete and happy because of yourself. The rest will be provided and come in time : health-wise, financially, or the people who will surround you who vibrate at your same frequency.

Hang in there and count me as a friend is you want to chat

Blessings,
Firefly.

[Lynn]

Hello

I know well now that growing up not understanding anything about whom I was and how very different I was might well have saved me for the path that somoene I know had to go. I have memories from the age of 6 at a funeral and being carried to the car screaming they all want to talk to me at once, I can see them all.....for me Dad to go "never ever talk on this again" and I knew well to respect me Dad there in that. I never did talk openly on it all but I did have it stay with me. It not only stayed with me but as I grew older thing with me grew stronger. I would ask of course on it to the Church we attended a bit but too get no reply but its not "God's work" and I again would shush up.

I grew up honestly thinking everyone could do what I could do, just that it was not for some reason talked on. As one ages one plays.....and for me that was not always in the good paths, but I had to find the foundations of it all.

I know someone two year's older than I that spent from the age of 6 locked up til a visiting Dr say in her at 16 that she was not menally ill just gifted with sight. She was blessed her parents were of weath and the place she went to gave her education ( on a basic level ) and she learned to funtion to do things. He took her from there at 18 and they have been married a very long time now with a family.

I look to her and go OMG that could have been me, that is the path me Dad kept me from. It is now that he is in Spirit that we talk about all this and that its accepted and understood. Too many year's have passed as he passed when I was 25. There is always reason so life paths, and for struggles along those paths. We do not always have a possitive one, I know well mine was not a bed of roses, and I could well have taken me life at 16 but I am still here.

At 18 I got tested to see if I was mad, I honestly thought I was ready to be commited and again I was blessed to have found the right Dr to understand me on some levels. It seems that when needed I was blessed that help was there. That sadly is not the case for most.

I have had to learn things in reverse to most. For me it all came in with me so I had to work backwards and go ok how do one's get there that have to work at it....to learn how I could teach it on some levels but from their point of I know nothing at all and I have to learn to do it.

That is why I so LOVe to try and give back where I can with trying to understand it all and go from the personal levels of me and life when I do public speaking so that I am always the human pressence there not the book that information is contained in.

I see dead people, I hear them I smell them and I embrace them fully and I never turn off...unless drunk and that is rare on rare for me. I know well what its like to hear voices 24/7 but too I know in feeling them they are not voices that are from being mad. There is a fine line there, I know many senstives that walk that line in life.

What helped to really balance and bring me into settling into that inner pressence was becoming a Reiki Master, I use it of course but what it gave to me was more for me that sense of calm. That sense of what one's would call inner peace.

Many I know that are sensitive have tried some sort of healing mordality and found that if it s done from the heart centre for self it does bring some calm in.

Your not mad, we are all mad is how I see it. Honeslty we could all well have that breaking point in life, that slip off the level ground we walk.

Lynn

[blackraven]

mystic kate - I've been in your shoes most of my life. The biggest person in my life that rejected my abilities was my husband. I was labeled with all kinds of psychiatric disorders and questioned my sanity for years, eventually discounting my abilities as hallucinations and shear coincidental events. He even threatened to take my son away if I didn't come away from my disturbing talk. For a long time I pulled away spiritually from him and communicated with the only like friend I had. But even that drove a bigger wedge between us and he was jealous of our friendship. But over the years he had witnessed too much to deny and eventually came around because he knew he needed to accept me and my abilities for what they really were or we would grown apart. In fact he was the first to admit my senses were heightened beyond usual and began listening to me with eager, new awareness of his own. As far as advice I would say just be who you are but don't allow other's to feel inferior in any way to you because of your abilities. We all have abilities beyond are every day human reasoning if we tap into it. People don't want to be told they don't have what you have or you have special powers beyond theirs. If you can approach others from the standpoint I believe you may have more people that are willing to listen to you. Empower others along side you. My husband has since embraced his own psychic clairvoyant abilities and no longer disclaims spirit activity around us. Just be gentle in you approach toward others and they just may be gentle back. No one likes to feel like they are less special than another. And sometimes your closest friends, family and loved ones are the hardest to convince. It's easier to reject what we don't understand until we're just gently shown the truth. Find strong alliances to share with for now and others will or will not come around in time. That's life. But continue to be who you are and be true to yourself and your abilities. Things don't happen over night. Be patient and kind to yourself while remaining kind and accepting of others.

Blackraven

Originally Posted by Firefly Dancer

Ciqala, you posted at the same time as me.

I totally hear you on what you describe and it has happened to me as well. I seem to have lost in the way many people around me and I was scared about loneliness. Plus the holidays do not help neither.

However, I can tell you that the Divine always puts, takes away or brings back people in your life that really matters and really has to be there. Maybe you are in a secluded time and trust me, I sense I am somehow headed towards that as well ( I am recently divorced and I have sensed I have to learn now to live on my own ) but I am sure it will not always be like this, and take comfort that on the other side there are souls who love us and are rooting for us and who know what a huge challenge it is to incarnate on earth. There is a reason and a mission for you to be here, you just need to find it.

My guides are working with me a lot on the "not putting one´s happiness in the hands of someone else". I guess all I can say is the same they are telling me : try as much as possible to be whole and complete and happy because of yourself. The rest will be provided and come in time : health-wise, financially, or the people who will surround you who vibrate at your same frequency.

Hang in there and count me as a friend is you want to chat

Blessings,
Firefly.

Thank you for the encouragement
It is funny but right after I posted that I contacted the only woman I know who is spiritual and thankfully she was available, talking to her helped me find clarity again. So I think for that reason it is important for me to have some humans to talk to so I don't become lost again.

It was so strange but I no longer had a grip on reality, everything became so confusing. Interesting enough, many sources say that during ascension this can happen if you don't have another person there occasionally to remind you of what is real. Also I had completely forgotten that with transformation comes much pain. This did not compute in my brain during my pain, it was just too astounding at the time.
On saturday I had a new light crystal that spins installed in my DNA which left me exhausted and depleted of energy for sunday. On sunday night during a successful meditation, I was led to the abyss talked about in merkabah teachings - the abyss leads to the higher dimensions of ascension and was told get ready to enter a place you have never been before.
Later that night I was filled with so much negative energy of self! Such self doubt in myself and everything I believe, it became confusing, I no longer believed anything nor could I trust any of my surroundings. Well the following days were just terrible afterwards, and I no longer could see what was real and was in dire need to not be alone in my brain.
My spirit guide had informed me, you are not insane, your beliefs are right! But the negative things you are thinking now are insanity. He said, a good way to tell what is real and what is not, is to remember that negativity is always unreal and illogical, and that only the good is real.
But the negative overpowered me and I forcefully pushed it all away and refused to have anything to do with any of it ever again and I allowed a lot of negative forces to surround me and become me, and therefore succeeded in feeling even more alone. Well things spiralled down even more.

But I have realized now being connected again to my true self, the product of my loneliness is because I am becoming something new, and therefore have remembered to have acceptance that the direction of other peoples misunderstandings of me is not their intentions.

After a lovely talk with my friend, I found out that she too struggled with having parent's that no longer sync with her newfound spirituality/boundaries/life, and I realized a lot of my pain was due because I have been carrying so much resistance to letting my relationship with my parent's change and unfold into what it needs to be.
I have to stop relying on them for the ways in which I rely on them, because it is silly to do so, they are not on the same level as me, and I cannot force them to be. It is my own fears and selfish needs that keep intervening, and of course I am going to continue to be harmed by them if I keep allowing the same pattern to unfold.
This is the ending of an old phase, and it hurts so much because my child self still longs to be 5 years old in this sense. But after having much clarity on the issue, I realize that I am now ready and have the courage to move forwards and to step into being independent and finding better supports for me and not having to rely on outside influences that are not beneficial to me, it does not mean that I stop loving them, it just means that I can't turn to them for support anymore. I need to have compassion for them also. No, they can't help me, and no that does not mean they are lesser of a person because of that. We just do not sync, or at least not right now, and they refuse to accept my new boundaries, and that is okay...
Anyways I also realized that the things I told my mom that night were probably so enormous and incredible she had no idea what to say to respond to it. Her behaviour was incorrect but at least understandable now.

I have realized also from my higher self, that the product of my suicidal thoughts, had not actually been a desire to die. It was ascension that I was longing for so desperately. But my human self had no other way of looking at it and translated it to physical death.

Another thing I realized, although he said it so many times, is that if I had decided to die, I would not have been able to be with my spirit guide anyways, because he is not dead, LoL he is very much alive (he's a high frequency ET being). So, none of what I had been thinking was logical at all.

Anyways I am glad that I am feeling more balanced now and can see what is real again.