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Cosmic consciousness games
When i reach the pinnacle of consciousness I'm going to ______.
but once getting there, and when getting close to there, the cosmic consciousness aspect of myself says "stop playing the ego games". I feel a sense of being robbed, as if what brought me to cosmic consciousness cannot be held within cosmic consciousness. All must be let go, all the ego games and even what brought me to that place.
that's how it usually goes for me. Big ideas about what will happen when I get there and what I'm going to do, but once I get there things change and it's not what I wanted so I go back. It's a fun game, perhaps someday I will find a prize worth keeping. One that satisfies both sides of my nature, cosmic consciousness and egoistic consciousness. For now I'm trapped between living as a cosmic consciousness as my egoic consciousness, and the reverse, making my cosmic consciousness into something that resembles my egoistic consciousness.
sounds like that is my problem eh, it only goes one way. haha.
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