Twin Flame push and pull. Interpretation needed

[skyeladae]

Six years ago I met my first love. I knew of him before that but I never really payed much thought to him although, I have a clear memory of someone talking about him once and I got chills down my spine. Anyway the first time we met we had a really good time, but it wasn't our time yet. A year later by chance we spent some time together again and fell madly in love, we moved in together quite quickly after and neither of us had very solid plans for our lives so we made all our missions and plans together from then on. It was great in the beginning I really loved him, I guess I've always loved him and ultimately been loyal to him. Its just that we never see eye to eye when I bring up emotional issues in the relationship. He gets me in ways that I think I need him to get me most- he knows me so well and pushes me to do better in life and knows how to get through to me when I'm resisting growth most. But there is no crazy fire. Occasionally a flame comes back between us and when it burns it is really nice but generally it feels like we're on an emotional plateau. Just over a year ago I met my twin flame. He was a new friend of my boyfriend and I met him shortly after the two of them met, he said it was so strange meeting me, that he felt love at first sight and afterwards he told his brother that he would marry me. There was a lot of energy flowing between us but it was so difficult because he was always coming around on a social level to visit me and my boyfriend. He said truthfully that he always just wanted to see me. The second time he ever came over I started talking so openly about how I felt in front of him and went on about how I believe in past lives. Things I never really spoke about to people. After that he went and read up on past lives and found many connections between us, this was his spiritual awakening. So many coincidences kept popping us between us, he kept telling me about this twin flame thing but I didn't quite believe it. After a while there were just to many signs to ignore the fact that he was my twin. We had such a pull to each other but before anything could happen my boyfriend found out. My twin told my BF that he was in love with me and I told my BF that I think we should break up, he tried to kill himself and this was to much for me to see- I love him and didn't want to hurt him. So at the peak of emotion I pushed my twin away and tried to resist him but it was so hard, so we played a game of make up and when ever it would get to intense and close to a chance of "cheating" I would push him away. Until my BF decided to move home, and I stayed in the same city as my twin. He started visiting me soon after my BF left and it was just so incredible. I have never ever felt anything like that in my whole life before. Random people would tell me that I was glowing. I saw life though completely different eyes and I remember thinking that if he ever died that I would no longer want to live because the world seemed like such a bland place without him by my side. I don't know why but things started to go wrong between us, I guess I had a fear of commitment and that played a part, I don't think its as simple as that though. After feeling the greatest ecstasy I have ever felt I started to feel a come down and Im not sure which one cause the other but I started to miss my ex, felt guilty for how I left him so suddenly for my twin, saw how I had over looked his goodness and seen it as weakness. I ran from my twin and now I am back with my ex. Do you think I was not mature enough to deal with a relationship with my twin. My jumping around has shocked my family and put me in a deal of confusion. The entire time I followed my emotions and my intuition. Any light on this situation would be much appreciated.

[taurusnsane]

look at your doings from the sideview. pretty nasty what u doin girl

i would drop them both and then decide one outcome. but if he is your twin, why the hell would u do these things to him, leave him for another man, one day one and the next another.

[Freekre8]

Stay single & juggle them both.

No need to get serious your only young.

[taurusnsane]

no.. and this is why Freekre8 there are so many men with commitment fears.. because there are ladies, who juggle. NO NO NO! Gosh.. the worst idea ever, sorry.

We all know that jugglers are.... ;)

[skyeladae]

Haha I really dont want to juggle men.. I want to have that feeling of love that made me feel like I was on a new planet and I want to be the reason someone else feels it too. I just wondered why the pull between them happened. They say everything for a reason if you follow your higher self or intuition and I truthfully believe I was doing that. I have contemplated suicide many times because I have brought pain into the lives of those I love so. Maybe its that with my first love I have to be a lot more independent then with my twin and maybe its that I need to learn to be whole before I re-unite with my twin again.

Probably because she was confused and feeling just like she said here, guilty and like she overlooked her BF's goodness. I don't agree that it is "nasty" what she is doing, just confused. Just because someone is a twin soul does not mean we don't get pulled and pushed in different directions from our sense of moral obligation and not wanting to hurt someone else.

I guess at the end of the day it is up to you, OP, to see how you feel deep down inside about each one of them. You can't settle on what feels familiar or safe or normal or comfortable, and you can't stay with someone because you feel bad or guilty for him. You have to do what is right for YOU. And only you know what that is.

Because we are here on a spiritual forum where we preach about self-love and self-acceptance, try not to feel guilty for your choices. Love yourself through your experiences and just try to stay kind and gentle to all involved including yourself.

Originally Posted by taurusnsane

look at your doings from the sideview. pretty nasty what u doin girl

i would drop them both and then decide one outcome. but if he is your twin, why the hell would u do these things to him, leave him for another man, one day one and the next another.

[Freekre8]

Originally Posted by taurusnsane

no.. and this is why Freekre8 there are so many men with commitment fears.. because there are ladies, who juggle. NO NO NO! Gosh.. the worst idea ever, sorry.

We all know that jugglers are.... ;)

Yup I am one of those men, but i don't believe in relationships any more not until i can lock them up in my basement.

[taurusnsane]

Well.. so-so. Chasers wouldnt do that so I guess that the OP is the runner. As the twin has reached the twin flame etc and he is more advanced. But when you are the runner, you wouldnt choose anyone else if the twin is available and showing love. So, I think she is a runner because she is easily drawn to another, just because the confusion is strong and would prop say that doesnt understand why and how and etc.


Freekre. Locking up isnt love nor a relationship, it is an issue which must be dealt with. There are ladies out there who are amazing and not playing, but they are so so sooo hard to find as this mindset of playing, sponsoring and sleeping around is a trend, and see the younger generation now starting their "plays" at 11. So when now when being in 20-30 i think finding a real lady is rare, but 10 years from now I think it is more rare than now.

I am so sad because of this :(

[Freekre8]

Reverse narcissism is like when you love your self but then realize you are just a reflection of everything else so by loving your self your love is reflected 360degree in all directions and end up loving everything but your self.

[skyeladae]

What is an OP?