does anyone elses brain want to explode?

so i've been dealing with this soul connection thing for about 4 months now. i was doing great with it recently until a couple weeks ago.
i just feel emotionally drained. all i do is think about this and my best friend told me tonight that she is afraid it is consuming my life. but no matter what i do i can't make it go away. i've tried getting over it, but. i. can't. this is my first time dealing with something so intense and frankly, i'm exhausted. i don't really know what to do anymore.
physically and mentally i'm just so tired. even after sleeping 12 hours through the night, i am still tired. i'm pretty positive that we communicate through dreams because i have had a number of dreams where he tells me things, and even when i'm not dreaming about him, he is still there. i guess it's considered lucid dreaming because i am actively thinking of him while i'm dreaming.
but in the daytime, whether i'm in class, driving, brushing my teeth or at work, he is just always in my brain. and it's not like i ever intentionally think of him, he is just apart of me. like he is always there in everyhting i do. it's starting to scare me because i feel like a lunatic.
i just finished reading steve gunn's book "when two souls connect" and he talks about some meditation techniques that are supposed to help rebalance you. has anyone tried these? have they helped?
to be honest, i just feel out of control. i know that this whole thing has to be something way beyond human experience because i don't even feel like me anymore. sometimes i just want my life back the way it used to be, but i don't even remember how that was. i just want to feel normal again :/

[TheReason]

Originally Posted by lennonsdoll

so i've been dealing with this soul connection thing for about 4 months now. i was doing great with it recently until a couple weeks ago.
i just feel emotionally drained. all i do is think about this and my best friend told me tonight that she is afraid it is consuming my life. but no matter what i do i can't make it go away. i've tried getting over it, but. i. can't. this is my first time dealing with something so intense and frankly, i'm exhausted. i don't really know what to do anymore.
physically and mentally i'm just so tired. even after sleeping 12 hours through the night, i am still tired. i'm pretty positive that we communicate through dreams because i have had a number of dreams where he tells me things, and even when i'm not dreaming about him, he is still there. i guess it's considered lucid dreaming because i am actively thinking of him while i'm dreaming.
but in the daytime, whether i'm in class, driving, brushing my teeth or at work, he is just always in my brain. and it's not like i ever intentionally think of him, he is just apart of me. like he is always there in everyhting i do. it's starting to scare me because i feel like a lunatic.
i just finished reading steve gunn's book "when two souls connect" and he talks about some meditation techniques that are supposed to help rebalance you. has anyone tried these? have they helped?
to be honest, i just feel out of control. i know that this whole thing has to be something way beyond human experience because i don't even feel like me anymore. sometimes i just want my life back the way it used to be, but i don't even remember how that was. i just want to feel normal again :/

I know exactly how you are feeling right now. It's been 6 months since I've seen him, but I will never forget the emotions and rollercoaster of feelings I felt then.
I felt too like I was loosing my mind, and I chose to keep it inside because I didn't have anyone around me that wouldn't have thought I was going crazy. Other people don't seem to be able to fathom it until they've experienced it too. I had him on my mind all of the time, it was consuming me, and I didn't know what to do. I also had the dreams where I would communicate with him, even sometimes when I would be half-asleep.
It was a rough time, but after all has ended, I am thankful for that time because it was what drew me to becoming more spiritual and through a twisted vine it got me doing angel card readings for people. I was able to help people, and better myself thanks to him.

Anyway, now that it's over I can tell you this time in your life is not happening without reason. This is helping you grow, and the best thing you can do is embrace it and find your inner strength from it.
The moment I decided to start "letting go" and cutting spiritual cords that I felt were linking the two of us together (this was a difficult decision for me, and took me a while to finally do it), he reacted immediately in a way of feeling lost. I knew thought I had to do it, and it only took a little while for him to leave (for other reasons), and I knew it was me that manifested him leaving my life. I finally realized as much as I loved and cared for him deeply, he was suffocating my life and I had learned the lesson I was meant to. It was time to let go.

I now am enjoying my life, growing spiritually each day, and I know I will meet someone special when the time is right. I never thought I would consider someone other than him when I was in the middle of it all, but now I realize we weren't actually meant to be "together" in this life. I will love again.

If you need anyone to talk to/advice, feel free to message me!

Love and Light.

[mystical]

Originally Posted by lennonsdoll

so i've been dealing with this soul connection thing for about 4 months now. i was doing great with it recently until a couple weeks ago.
i just feel emotionally drained. all i do is think about this and my best friend told me tonight that she is afraid it is consuming my life. but no matter what i do i can't make it go away. i've tried getting over it, but. i. can't. this is my first time dealing with something so intense and frankly, i'm exhausted. i don't really know what to do anymore.
physically and mentally i'm just so tired. even after sleeping 12 hours through the night, i am still tired. i'm pretty positive that we communicate through dreams because i have had a number of dreams where he tells me things, and even when i'm not dreaming about him, he is still there. i guess it's considered lucid dreaming because i am actively thinking of him while i'm dreaming.
but in the daytime, whether i'm in class, driving, brushing my teeth or at work, he is just always in my brain. and it's not like i ever intentionally think of him, he is just apart of me. like he is always there in everyhting i do. it's starting to scare me because i feel like a lunatic.
i just finished reading steve gunn's book "when two souls connect" and he talks about some meditation techniques that are supposed to help rebalance you. has anyone tried these? have they helped?
to be honest, i just feel out of control. i know that this whole thing has to be something way beyond human experience because i don't even feel like me anymore. sometimes i just want my life back the way it used to be, but i don't even remember how that was. i just want to feel normal again :/

(((((((((((lennons doll))))))))))) , i undersrtand how u feel as when i met my twin within months i felt the same way , i messed my college course up because constantly he wa sin my head and i was always away with the thoughts i ended up feeling like i was mad , it is one hell of a rollercoaster sweetheart and its like it tests u to see how strong u really are , this conenction took me to the brink and tiopped me over the edge i ended up having a breakdown but i emerged stronger , i have come so far since them days but then others days it looks as if i havent moved at all , but u are growing u just may not seeing that right , i wish there was a quick fix solution and something to take it all away but there isnt , i tried meditation , didnt always work , tried having sum fun and letting out my inner child didnt always work , it seemed nothing would let me move past this , for a few hours or a few days it seems as finally u are gettin sumwhere then boom ur back in the thick of it again , all this boils down to how u view urself and right now u may think ur not worthy , i have read up on steve gunn and have thought myself of trying the techniques i dont know if they work and some days im desperate to just be able to wakeup and be who i use to be even if for just one day but that isnt going to happen because im shedding , im not who i use to be and altho i feel lost with that im also happy because i was never really happy with who i was then either lol , just go easy on yourself and listen to your higher self for answers and guidance ,

am here if u need to chat ok xxxx

Hi Lennonsdoll,

It can be scary to feel such an emotional upheaval, and even more worrisome when it starts affecting one‘s physical being, too. This journey of the soul has a sadistic manner of making even the strongest-feeling person feel like curling up in a fetal position and withering away. I will try to offer you some general insights here that are only my opinions gleaned from my own wading through my own soul-connection.

You mentioned that it feels your connection is a part of you, and I think that is how it is supposed to be. It appears to me that this type of soul-connection is, absolutely, an integral part of our essence - that is: our soul. The soul is its own little being -- a part of us, but with its own ways, mannerisms, needs and desires. It operates mostly silently and invisibly in the background of our lives. But when it senses its compliment/it‘s other half, it will stop at nothing to unify, it seems to me. This is when the soul comes out of hiding and takes center-stage in our lives -- and also where the action really begins. The soul rarely listens to “rational” thinking, reasoning, “reality.” Because it is not operating within earthly definitions, labels, confines. Finding the balance between what the soul wants and what we feel we need to be and do in our earthly existence can be tricky, at best…and impossible, at worst.

I believe dreams are some of the more spiritual components of such connections -- and an integral part of the soul’s communication with its “other half.” My dreams and visions (clairvoyance) were two of the primary things which led me straight to the man I believe to be my primary soul-connection/twin flame (whatever one might call it -- I don't like the labels, personally) -- and many of these dreams and visions I was later able to verify. And these were things I had absolutely no way on earth of knowing and about a man I did not know and had no reason to know. I spent a long time wondering if I was losing my mind. But the verifications were what forced me to recognize that this particular man and I share some sort of deep, profound and, frankly, bizarre connection...and that the connection was channeling itself through various spiritually-infused ways, such as dreams.

You may find that keeping a journal or diary of these dreams, etc. to be extraordinarily beneficial and healing, for you. You may also find that walks in nature will help to take away some of the excess energy you are giving off and taking in, currently. Moving water is particularly beneficial and healing.

I also have an idea on what you mean when you say your best friend fears this is consuming your life. I am very private, in general, and have always been very, very careful about with whom I share aspects of my own story with -- and exactly what about it that I share because I am extremely protective of the man my soul found. I think it is wise to be careful about whom you share such with as we must be protective of ourselves, too. I’m sure your friend is concerned about your well-being, as any good friend would be, but perhaps simply doesn’t yet understand how best to approach this or offer a meaningful response to you regarding it. I have, honestly, found no one that really and truly seems to "get" what I'm saying or where I'm coming from (although I supsect the man I speak of would understand, he is not talking). So I have had to accept that I carry this alone.

On a similar note, I quickly learned that the more I fought against this connection, the more uncomfortable I felt when my soul would “fight back.” It is absolutely, 100% consuming and, I found, more so when I tried to fight it. So I had to let my soul do “its own thing“ and try to adjust my life to fit around its knowledge (as it is much, much smarter than the earthly me ever could be) and also its whims. It’s a very delicate balance. I have also learned, that even when I started to learn to live with it all and find some sort of balance, that it has only gotten stronger, over time. And clearer, too. At first, it was like a jigsaw puzzle all apart in a box. Over time, it began to put itself together, one piece at a time, until I am now gaining a clearer idea of the whole picture… When I began to understand (and, perhaps more importantly: believe and accept) the greater complexity of what I am experiencing regarding this man…it was as if a ton of bricks fell on top of me, but it also felt RIGHT, really and truly right, for the first time.

Yet I think that the other lessons I’ve learned along the way have given me a more solid base which has helped me to be stronger in living with it. If you give this enough time, I believe you will also find a rhythm and balance that will make things a bit easier for you.

As for your question about meditation, I have heard generally positive things about it. I will not meditate in the “classic” regard for various reasons. However, I have found a surrogate meditative state that works very, very well for me through music. I listen to massive amounts of Brian Eno. Through his (ambient) music, somehow, I am gently swept away in a delicate meditative state that is easy and safe to me. In time, and with perseverance, you will also find the right way to meditate that works best for you, if you chose to go that route. It can be immensely beneficial in one’s life, in general.

These connections ebb and flow. Like a surfer on a wave, you will eventually learn the way the water shifts and moves, will learn the little intricacies of the feel of the water‘s pull beneath your feet and how you must adjust your body and posture to stay upright (that delicate balance, again), and, thus, learn how to balance your whole self upon it all. Yes, you will fall off the board many times before you get the hang of it all. It just takes time, patience, practice.

Sorry for being so long-winded. I often take the longest written path to make points/offer advice, etc. But I find it to be worth it and hope I’ve offered some useful thoughts to you. And I wish you the very best.

double post...

[TheReason]

Munchen, very well put explanation! I agree with everything, and this is a perfect example of someone that "gets" how it feels to go through this. It's not to blame the people around us that don't understand how we feel, but they just haven't experienced anything like it.

thanks to everyone for their replies!
it's really nice to communicate with people who are experiencing soul connections. i have always thought i was more spiritually "advanced" than other people my age, and i guess this is just a test to see what i'm really made of.
it's been the craziest 4 months of my life, and i feel completely different so i guess that is my way of confirming that this is really happening and is REAL. i think the hardest thing is accepting what is actually happening in your life and removing the rational thinking process that we are all so used to.
the past couple weeks i have been trying to figure out what the lesson is that i need to learn from all of this is. since as early as i can remember, probably the 8th grade, there has always been a crush or a boy i liked, and since breaking up with my ex 2 years ago, i was always looking to guys to make myself feel fulfilled and happy. i have only been in one relationship but it was long term, and also emotionally abusive. that really did a number on my self esteem and my already present insecurity issues, and i finally realized: i have never been okay with just being by myself. i think my lesson from this soul connection is to finally learn to be okay with being alone and not having a guy to make me feel good about myself. and for the first time i think i am starting to do this.
ever since the separation from my soul connection, i have no interest in dating. i am putting myself first for the first time in my life. my happiness and well being are starting to be my top priorities. and as far as my friend is concerned, this whole thing may look like it's consuming my life, but when you find someone that completes you in the way a soul connection, you want nothing more than to feel that complete again. it's like your soul is restless until it finds that missing frequency again. it's a beautiful crazy intense and frightening feeling all rolled into one.
i know that my soul connection is dating someone else right now, and to be honest i am okay with it. it's his life and his path and i have no control over his decisions. as long as he is happy and he is being treated in the way that he deserves, then i am happy for him. overall, my instincts tell me that i will see him again and we will talk when it is the right time for the both of us. i think if we tried to be together now, it wouldn't work because we both have things we need to do first. we have to learn how to be the best versions of ourselves for eachother before we can come together.
i am still feeling emotionally drained but do you blame me? these connections take your emotions to another level that isn't even on this human plane. i have been trying to not "fight" with my soul and with this connection because munchen4444 was right; trying to fight with what your soul knows is right just makes everything worse. just going with the connection is what feels RIGHT for me. and when i picture getting through this test and learning my lessons, i know that the reward on the other side will be more than worth it.
i always wonder what he is feeling too. does he have these crazy emotions and dreams too? it's interesting to think that it's possible that we both communicate with eachother through dreams but i think it's true. in a couple of the dreams he told me through a text and then through a letter, that he was sorry for everything that happened, that he was an idiot and that he never meant to hurt me. in other dreams we are just together and very happy. dreams are something that i have always been interested in.
i do wish that i could go back to my normal self sometimes, but then i realize that before i met him, i never realized that i was worthy of putting myself first and that i actually needed to work on things.
and as for the dating thing goes, i'm not interested in it now, but maybe i will be someday. i just want to be secure with myself first. i deserve to be happy, and so does he. and happiness is the most important thing. :)

[awakeningheart]

Munchen444...that was an amazing response and so very very wise. You have completely explained my understanding of this experience of soul connection. I have stopped talking to anyone (other than my 'connection') about it as it is very difficult for anyone else to understand. So thank you.

Yes, my brain want's to explode ALL the time, just not for the same reasons.

I understand what you are going through, and just know that it does get better.

There is really no point in worrying about soul connections or soul mates because what is meant to happen is meant to happen regardless of how much you stress and fret over it.

I know some things can be overwhelming, but if you just accept it and let it be/take it as it comes, you will feel much better.

Munchen44 and lennonsdoll,
Thank you for such excellent posts! It's as if you read my mind as to what this journey has been for me. It's taken me 2 yrs 8 mos. to get to the exact point you describe.