Guides, Angels, and Demons

This is a sensitive topic to be sure, but it's one that has been on my mind lately. I need to know if I'm "crazy." If I am to truly accept that all of my experiences have been real...and that I am not just a crazy person who is really good at acting sane 99% of the time...then, I guess that means that my past experiences with both angels and demons were real.

My first experience with demons that I can recall took place when I was quite young... between 10 and 12 years old. I was lying in my room when I heard a whisper in my ear telling me "you're going to die. you can't stop it. nobody can save you. you're going to die." And then there was terrible...terrible laughter. It was overwhelming...terrifying. I ran from the room. I was a very spiritual child - raised in a church that empowered me greatly. God was not a distant being for me; I had a personal relationship with Him, and I felt very in tune with Him. So, I really had no problem begging Him for help that night.

All at once, I felt a HUGE and brilliant presence with me. I was filled with strength, love, and light. I walked into the room and heard a loud voice (it was not my own voice, but I heard it in my own mind in my own language) banishing the demons and felt a great light projecting into the room. It was crazy...it was overwhelming. I didn't even think to question it though. My childhood faith was strong and real; I never questioned the true and full existence of spiritual beings back then.

I left the church later in life... and I found myself going through a time in my life where I, for one reason or another, became a favorite target for demons. If demons were flies, I was honey. I am honestly shocked to still be here today -- they were in me, around me, everywhere. I wanted death more than I have ever wanted anything. I'd feel them take over; I'd be overwhelmed with the feeling of them. I have a difficult time talking about how it changed me; that's something I'll keep private for now. But, I still have a lot of shame regarding that time in my life -- I am ashamed of who I became.

I finally got involved in my spirituality again - I was re-baptized - mentors of mine confronted the demons with me. They helped me see how I needed to forgive and let go of anger that I was holding onto in order to shut the door and guard against them. I started getting back in tune with the spiritual intuition I'd had as a child, but it was not as easy as it had been. And demons do NOT give up easily; but, at least I had defenses again. I'd forgive and have to forgive again in about 10 seconds. The door would close, open, close, open... sometimes in moments.

During this time, I became aware of an internal presence - a guide - who would help me during these attacks. I kept it mostly secret; I ignored it thinking it was a psychological issue (I had been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder) and that I should NOT have this presence. It needed to go away.

It took about 2-3 years, but the demonic attacks are gone now - or at least, easily blocked. That presence - the guide - is still there. Actually, there's more than one. They each serve a different purpose.

I'm terrified. I'm torn. Being diagnosed with DID (multiple personalities) makes me question everything. What if I'm nuts? What if these 'presences' are part of that dissociative disorder? ...what if what if...

Ugh. I'm just blabbering away now. Now I'm not even sure why I started this thread other than I feel nuts, and I needed to just confess this stuff and get it out there. I do not think that I truly have any psychological disorders (except anxiety; gosh, I have that). But it is so so hard for me to truly believe it... when society tells you this stuff is explained by something being WRONG with you... oh I don't know.

I'm ending here. You can ignore this ridiculously long thread. I just had to blurt it all out somewhere.

[Spiritualist74]

you are not alone.. inky I have fought against them for years. they have tried to take me a few times in my life as well but I am strong in my faith and I wont go without a fight.my convictions and my faith has been my shield to protect me against them and my inner light has been my weapon as well. we cant do it alone though. I feel you are reaching out to find some kind of serenity in your mind in your troubled thoughts.

I would like to tell you again you are not alone. there is safety here.
I used to fear them but now I accept that I am stronger than them.
I grew up a scared child afraid of the dark and what dwelled there, but I find solace and safety in a lighted path today. I left the church too , when I healed two people at the altar in view of the pastor. but that experience made me stronger.yet it pushed me away from religion as well..

we learn from our experiences , there are some experiences I have held secret inside for years but I was attacked by demons and darkness for years , I think I found comfort in drugs and alcohol to escape , numb my thoughts of the attacks as well.
being told you are crazy is a label , we are in fact special I choose to say instead of focusing on the negative labels society brands us with. I have been told I have psychosis ten years ago when I was locked up for observation I had an amazing awakening/rebirth.
I found at that time I did have a purpose , I had spent years searching for something, I had found it when I was awakened.

I commend you for being strong , even when you thought you weren't ..
love and light to you

These demons I found are discarnate people who haven't crossed over yet. I get rid of them by telling them to go into the light and there they will find their temple. Apparently they can see the light and are afraid of it, and don't do anything about it. They don't know better its all they know, nothing but then go look down on people and just cause mischief. They aren't smart enough to have any powers so isn't anything more they can do to you except scare you, but you can always call out and an angel will come.

Originally Posted by inky_1

My first experience with demons that I can recall took place when I was quite young... between 10 and 12 years old. I was lying in my room when I heard a whisper in my ear telling me "you're going to die. you can't stop it. nobody can save you. you're going to die." And then there was terrible...terrible laughter. It was overwhelming...terrifying. I ran from the room.

I remember having a dream once and I was surrounded by lots of demons. They all had red eyes and were laughing similar to the Joker from Batman. The strange thing was that I felt they actually kind of liked me......because I wasn't afraid at all. But that was just a dream so it wasn't anything real.

[CrystalSong]

While I'm no authority on anything human or spirit based, It could be you don't have a disorder....allow me to elaborate:

I'm feeling pretty, what clinicians might call schizophrenic right now. About a year and a half ago I had a very profound spiritual awakening - I got the proverbial 2X4 upside the head and life as I knew it dissolved and nothing I once believed was true was and basically all human beliefs and scientific premises got disproven to me - or at least let's say they are only a tiny partial bit of whats actually going on. This led to the discovery of my Higher Self or Spirit and eventually in trying to tame the egoaic mind to a state I call the Witness or Observer.
In many ways I feel three Entities inside Me (egoaic self), Higher Self (me eternally) Observer (part which only witnesses and is a conduit for Higher Self). (I'm also aware of Guides around me)
Observer is just a state of mind, a way to be detached and record without judgment or contemplating information recorded. It transcends the duality construct so is a trust worthy internal observer. The Witness with just the Facts.
Ego (personality me) and Spirit (unfathomable at this point yet we work together) are both me also, I get that, but we feel separate right now and I often do not think of Spirit as myself but this aspect of some Ephemeral Eternal All-Knowing Being that rather leaves me in awe most of the time.

Eventually we will merge and I will accept and not be in such awe of it and will know I am All - Body, Mind and Spirit. It is part of the Journey, discovery of self as Spirit, getting to know that Spirit and then integrating with it.
Many on the inward Journey have experienced this separation of Self also they first discovered their Eternal Self. Modern Psychiatry would have a field day with it though and medicate us out the wazoo! lol

As to demons I can't speak to them having never experienced them, but hearing a Guiding, Loving, Nurturing voice inside is hardly unusual for those at some level of Awareness. For some it develops into various voices as they learn to hear their Guides and Angels. And I've met more than a few people who are currently working with Ascended Masters and learning on a much higher level now.
None of these people need diagnosis's or medications and having such things won't stop them from being multi-deminsionally aware anymore than diagnosing Jesus as suffering from delusions of grandeur would have stopped him from healing or manifesting.
At some point we have to admit humans just can't explain everything, the Universe is far greater and more complex than we can envision in our wildest dreams. (And some of us can go there without dreaming lol )

If the diagnosis makes you feel better - then keep it, if you believe it - then accept it, and if you're suspicious of it - then delve deeper and find your own experiential truth. =D

Guides, Angels, and Demons - Inky

Aversion and denials of demons and fears is not the answer. The more you fight against them, the worse it gets. (does one even have to fight?)
And denying and eluding a problem/demon doesn't deal with it or make it go away.
Realization, recognizing and accepting whatever issue there is
is a step into having peace over matters.
You just have to also get over the ingrained fears you have long developed(much to the credit of scaremongering).

And for having demons around, there are the angels around as well you can turn to.
*It's about finding peace of mind, being at peace with what you deal with
instead of living in fear and letting fear take reign over you/your life.

That should leave no room for such demons.

Oh my. My heart goes out to you. I had a spiritual awakening experience at the beginning of the year that surrounded my fear of darkness and demons and evil. It was life changing for me and scared me so badly that I turned away from spirituality for a while and nearly lost my mind. In the end it turns out I was being pushed to get past my fears which I now have managed to do. I no longer fear the dark or evil and have lost a TON of fearmongering beliefs that were taught to me over the years by religion. It was a painful experience that was full of suffering and isolation but in the end one that woke me up. Through it all and especially at my lowest points I was protected by my angels to the point that divine intervention took place at a moment where I was truly out to harm myself, or what AA Michael explains as "raping my soul." That voice in your head is your guidance watching over you. Listen to it. Trust it.

Along the way I did a lot of reading about demons. I learned that addictions, past abuse, fear, guilt, etc. all of these can be "demons." Are you sure you were being attacked by real demons, like spirits of the underworld, or was any of that projections from inside you that were coming out to haunt you? In reading about psychotic and psychic breaks it seems that sometimes those of us who are very open to spirit can experience behaviors that society and science just does not understand, hence your diagnosis of DID.

Please understand I have had to fight fear here lately. I am being forced to get over my fears and no one can truly understand what it is like to come face to face with fear and have to show it down. It can make you nearly crazy but it is the way the spirit world heals us. It sounds like your situation could be very fear based and you could be on the verge of having a breakTHROUGH instead of a breakdown. Please try to control your fear as you battle it, not hide from it, and do not be afraid of the quiet calm loving voice inside of you that is trying to contact you and speak to you. It is an angel or guide coming through to help you battle your fears so you can be healed. Then you will know your DID for what it truly is- connection with spirit {of that's how I see it.} Good luck to you.

PS- you wrote that you are ashamed of what you did at that time of your life. I've been there as well. I let my shadow side control me for a while and did things that were rather unlike me. I disrespected myself and hurt myself on purpose. But here is the difference- I love myself MORE for it now because I know I was not well. I was suffering. All of the stuff that had built up inside of me from my abusive childhood that I locked away and said "Oh but I forgive so it's okay!" came out because my guide used it to heal me. But the healing process was a painful one. My awakening has been at times blissful but also full of pain. Yet I choose not to suffer in SHAME. Please have no shame. No humiliation. God loves you as you are, loves you more for what you went through. Look at yourself, that past self that did not treat itself lovingly, and hug it. Love it. Embrace her and pat her head and let her heave in your arms as she purges all of that old badness and GUILT. Feel empathy for that old you just as you would a friend who came to you and told you she suffered those same events and actions that cause you shame. You would love that friend and do anything in your power to soothe her aching heart- so do that for yourself!!! Love yourself. That is where your healing will begin- through loving yourself like you would love a friend or a sister or a child... or God. YOU are God. Forgive yourself. Feel a little loving sadness for that poor girl who hurt so badly, not shame. Never shame. Our angels and guides never want shame or guilt or humiliation or fear for us... unless they are trying to teach us to fight those things in which case they can be thrust into our faces until we scream I WILL HAVE NO MORE OF THIS!!! So fight girl. Love yourself but fight those fears and one day you will fully awaken. Know the truth is you are nothing less than a glowing ball of bright loving God-energy and all the rest is your past demons tussling with you until you heal.

I once asked Archangel Michael for "humility." I felt his presence so strongly as he told me "NO HUMILITY! NEVER HUMILITY!" and it hit me- because humility and humiliation are way too close for comfort and shame and humiliation are weak points for me. Instead he told me to be humble in my pursuits but never to be afraid of taking pride in myself. I can be fearful of being prideful- I am scared of ego. It's my thing but guilt and shame are fear-based and the devil's playground. Please heal your shame. I cannot express this enough. Until you do so I think you will be plagued. If you want to talk more please let me know. I've been there so I totally understand.

You are not crazy...with that in mind the mind is a powerful thing so before you decide talk to a good therapist and see the other side of the coin.
And take care of yourself dont be scared! <3

[Astral Explorer]

Originally Posted by inky_1

This is a sensitive topic to be sure, but it's one that has been on my mind lately. I need to know if I'm "crazy." If I am to truly accept that all of my experiences have been real...and that I am not just a crazy person who is really good at acting sane 99% of the time...then, I guess that means that my past experiences with both angels and demons were real.

My first experience with demons that I can recall took place when I was quite young... between 10 and 12 years old. I was lying in my room when I heard a whisper in my ear telling me "you're going to die. you can't stop it. nobody can save you. you're going to die." And then there was terrible...terrible laughter. It was overwhelming...terrifying. I ran from the room. I was a very spiritual child - raised in a church that empowered me greatly. God was not a distant being for me; I had a personal relationship with Him, and I felt very in tune with Him. So, I really had no problem begging Him for help that night.

All at once, I felt a HUGE and brilliant presence with me. I was filled with strength, love, and light. I walked into the room and heard a loud voice (it was not my own voice, but I heard it in my own mind in my own language) banishing the demons and felt a great light projecting into the room. It was crazy...it was overwhelming. I didn't even think to question it though. My childhood faith was strong and real; I never questioned the true and full existence of spiritual beings back then.

I left the church later in life... and I found myself going through a time in my life where I, for one reason or another, became a favorite target for demons. If demons were flies, I was honey. I am honestly shocked to still be here today -- they were in me, around me, everywhere. I wanted death more than I have ever wanted anything. I'd feel them take over; I'd be overwhelmed with the feeling of them. I have a difficult time talking about how it changed me; that's something I'll keep private for now. But, I still have a lot of shame regarding that time in my life -- I am ashamed of who I became.

I finally got involved in my spirituality again - I was re-baptized - mentors of mine confronted the demons with me. They helped me see how I needed to forgive and let go of anger that I was holding onto in order to shut the door and guard against them. I started getting back in tune with the spiritual intuition I'd had as a child, but it was not as easy as it had been. And demons do NOT give up easily; but, at least I had defenses again. I'd forgive and have to forgive again in about 10 seconds. The door would close, open, close, open... sometimes in moments.

During this time, I became aware of an internal presence - a guide - who would help me during these attacks. I kept it mostly secret; I ignored it thinking it was a psychological issue (I had been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder) and that I should NOT have this presence. It needed to go away.

It took about 2-3 years, but the demonic attacks are gone now - or at least, easily blocked. That presence - the guide - is still there. Actually, there's more than one. They each serve a different purpose.

I'm terrified. I'm torn. Being diagnosed with DID (multiple personalities) makes me question everything. What if I'm nuts? What if these 'presences' are part of that dissociative disorder? ...what if what if...

Ugh. I'm just blabbering away now. Now I'm not even sure why I started this thread other than I feel nuts, and I needed to just confess this stuff and get it out there. I do not think that I truly have any psychological disorders (except anxiety; gosh, I have that). But it is so so hard for me to truly believe it... when society tells you this stuff is explained by something being WRONG with you... oh I don't know.

I'm ending here. You can ignore this ridiculously long thread. I just had to blurt it all out somewhere.

Well inkie I am not 100% able to say whether what you have dealt with in the past was spirits or part of what you have been diagnosed with. But I would like to start off by saying that I know without a shadow of a doubt that spirits do exist. So that means just because you were diagnosed with something doesn't have to mean that what you have experienced was purely a hallucination or some type of symptom of DID. Psychiatrists are only equipped with the tools they have learned to use in the physical dimension, and so no matter what type of spiritual experiences you have they are always going to look for a physical reason that it is happening. To be honest there isn't always a reason in this physical dimension that we experience spiritual things and so psychiatrists are far too quick to diagnose their patients with a mental disorder and start shoving pills down their throat. I find it incredibly ludicrous how a religious person can say that some random occurrence that happens in their life was "a message from God" or the work of God's angels, but the second that someone who isn't confined by a standard religion mentions contact with a spiritual being they are automatically labeled as crazy. If you ask me religion is far more ludicrous and crazy than anything you can experience spiritually. Religion worships the same God that it calls a demon, religion is completely twisted and backwards because for hundreds of years Human-beings have used religion as a tool to dominate other Humans. Humans have literally went through thousands of religious articles and documents to create the present day Bible, they pretty much left out anything that offered too much of the truth. If people want to get a real and unfiltered perspective on religion I always suggest they read The Dead Sea Scrolls, in particular The Book of Enoch.

So with that out of the way what you experienced could of just as easily been a true spiritual experience as it could of been a mental disorder. What I would like to tell you is that what religion calls demons are not spiritual beings. They are physical beings who traveled from space and bred with physical Human females. Whether or not demons as physical beings have access to the spiritual dimensions is up for debate. But history states that they visited Earth as fallen angels and bred with Human-beings so clearly they are physical beings. Every single civilization has stories of God or Gods coming to Earth and breeding with females, the Greeks called those Gods the Grigori which means "The Watchers." The Sumerians called them The Anunnaki, other civilizations called them Gods. They are likely physical extra-terrestrial beings who came to Earth thousands of years ago and used their superior knowledge and technology to make themselves appear supernatural and to convince Humans to worship them. The God that Christians worship I am pretty sure is the ancient Sumerian God known as Enlil. If you research about Enlil and about the Old Testament God their acts and behavior match up perfectly. I have spoke about this on other threads so I don't want to overlap and repeat myself but I want to make sure I offer you enough information to show you what I am pretty sure of.

I would be willing to bet that you haven't encountered a "demon" in the sense of definition that religion dictates. Demons are fallen angels, they are physical beings that came from space one way or another and visited Earth thousands of years ago and influenced humanity. When people experience scary spirits that appear to be evil what they're dealing with is a low vibrational spirit that is using their fear against them to have a good laugh, and perhaps to gain some energy from their victims fearful reaction. True "evil" spirits are very rare if they even exist at all. Spirits are typically just like Human-beings and are capable of both good and bad deeds. Even if a spirit does the types of things you described absolutely never means they are evil, especially demons. People are far too loose with using the word demon, if they researched what a demon truly is they would realize what they're dealing with is certainly not a demon. If you're scared a spirit is going to use that fear against you, but Human-beings do that to one another as well does that mean they're demons? Once you have conquered your fear and it no longer exists those same spirits you believed to once be demons will completely change the way to act toward you. I have personally went through several years of being harassed, attacked, scared, tortured, etc. by spirits that I believed to be demons. If you spoke with me 2-3 years ago I would of sworn that I was in spiritual warfare for my life and soul and that demons were at war with me.

Thankfully I have made it to the point where I am able to see how ludicrous that idea is. No matter how low vibrational a spirit is they cannot kill you or do any permanent damage to you unless you give them permission. Where there is fear there will always be a prankster spirit that comes and takes advantage of that fear. But the second you are fearless that same spirit will become friendly and be your friend. All forms and evolutionary levels of spirits can take any form they want, make any sound they want, appear in any manner they want. Just because a spirit sounds or looks scary doesn't mean it's a demon or evil. It just means that is what you fear and it is using that image or sound against you to scare you. If you were scared of balloons a spirit would appear as a balloon. If you were scared of dogs barking a spirit would make the sound of dogs barking. They are able to know all of your fears and desires and they use them against you, but they aren't evil or demons. People do the same exact thing, people scare each other for fun all of the time. People fulfill each others desires all of the time. Once the illusion of fear is gone and no fear exists with in you all of the illusions fade away and what is left is the truth. The truth is that very evil Humans do exist and so very evil spirits do exist as well, but they are extremely rare. I would bet just about anything that 99% of the cases where people believe they are dealing with a demon it is simply a prankster spirit. I have been there after they scare people and seen what they do, they all get together and laugh about it. They all discuss forms that scare people better than other forms. It's a huge joke to them. I don't think you're crazy but I do think that you should remove the notion of demons from your psyche. You have a better chance of getting struck by lightning at the same moment you win the lottery as you do encountering a demon in the true sense of what they are. I suggest you work out your fears for yourself and gain true liberation from fear and then you can see for yourself the truth about spirits and so-called demons.

[Astral Jane]

To inky_1 I think you got a lot of good input here i just wanted to ad 2cents' worth... when you were a child altho empowered and protected by God because you were a child there was still much you didn't know and vulnerabilities, being impressionable etc. This attracts the negative entities not just because of open weak points but also because you were a vessel for light and God- so it's a bonus if they can weaken you.

IMO this general dynamic sort of continued, explains more about how you were when leaving the church. But know that you were just an innocent human being who didn't have all the answers and much to go on, and you had normal, natural drives. our spirituality is our way to keep our drives in balance but not many have a good grasp on that, and a culture to keep us in the dark and enslaved to drives as well.

Your doubts about your church were a healthy independence, your fears and drives were all natural and God-given and do not make you guilty in any way. But some guilt about them will keep attracting the dark entities who want to stand in your way. To completely accept and love yourself will shield you from them, they'll hang back scratching their chins til they get bored, unrewarded and will wander away. Even when we are weak that does not make us guilty, knowing ourselves makes us strong and that means knowing when we are weak and not on the right path and loving ourselves anyway which helps us open to Gods grace and guidance again.
Be assured. Feel love. And know that you deserve it.