Girlfriend pulling back says she feels uncertain

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Tuesday

Some people want it casual, just everyday life with some cuddling and casual sex.

I understand the idea, I just don't understand how that's possible. Casual sex? If I don't love the person, sex is the last thing I would care to share with them. Sex is the physical expression that results from one's deep soul connection to the other. I realize that's just me, but I honestly cannot not imagine having sex with someone if I don't feel that soul connection. I can't even understand the need for that, for casual sex.

[Tuesday]

Sex is way better if there is a soul connection first. Otherwise it's just about release and usually it's not that good.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Tuesday

Otherwise it's just about release and usually it's not that good.

Yes, and as it pertains to Swfoxtrot's questions, the same can be said for many couples and their marriages. The relationship is not that good, and it's because they got together for the wrong reasons. They didn't love each other; they really only wanted a casual, part-time sort of togetherness. And people say yes to that kind of relationship, often because they prefer that to being alone.

After two long and bad relationships exactly like that, I'm an expect. I would tell anyone, anytime: Don't waste your time on someone who pulls back, and who can't or won't commit. That is the clear sign they don't love you, not as a soul partner. Wish them well and move on. And note, there is nothing wrong with them. All they're doing is providing you with a signal so as to pass on a particular message, one that is difficult to verbalize. ("Um, I don't really love you, sorry.") They're doing you a favor. You should thank them for their clarity and for saving you from wasting your time.

Originally Posted by Tuesday
Some people want it casual, just everyday life with some cuddling and casual sex.

I could never condone casual sex anymore after learning of the constant energy transfers between people who I'm not even touching let alone being physically connected with. I agree that some people want that type of relationship, yes this is true. But to try to convince others that this is ok and normal is something the ego would do. How could you ever fully know the person you want to casually absorb energy from if you just met them? If you do know them well and want to have physical relations then you should look inside to find out why you want to be physical. At that point it probably isn't casual anymore. Also if someone else just wants physical from you this is a clear sign that this person does not pay attention to their emotions/true self. Do you really want to absorb energy on that level from someone who doesn't pay attention to their own emotions/true self?

To the OP. Focus on yourself and loving you fully. when this is done right the girl in question and everyone around you will pick up on it. In a way this will either get you what you want or it will get you what you really need. Either way you win!

[Tuesday]

Everyone is not in tune with their emotions, connections, inner knowing than someone else is. That's why they don't a) seek anything else with than just casual dating or release b) don't know how to be with someone even if they did want something deeper. And that's okay. If you are not fully aware of the transaction, why should you seek something else?

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Badcopyinc

But to try to convince others that this is ok and normal is something the ego would do.

Watch out for that trap: the ego loves to point out to others that what they're doing, is something the ego would do.

After reflecting upon this and looking back on my own life, I can understand people thinking its fine to have a bit of physical fun with others. I had my physical flings in my teens and twenties (drunken trysts mostly lol). It didn't negatively effect me. It's a physical and/or consciousness phase I'd say, all part of being human. That said, many people live that way all their lives, perhaps it's their karmic path.

Originally Posted by Baile

Watch out for that trap: the ego loves to point out to others that what they're doing, is something the ego would do. .

I would like to thank you for your insight and you are correct. Everyone is on their own path. I shouldn't have added in the part about the ego. Thank you for pointing it out. i needed that! 🙏

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Badcopyinc

I would like to thank you for your insight and you are correct. Everyone is on their own path. I shouldn't have added in the part about the ego. Thank you for pointing it out. i needed that! ��

Good stuff, very nice, my path as well is taking full responsibly for what I put out in the world. That's why I came back today, to affirm that after giving it some thought, I can understand why some people might seek part-time companionship with someone they may not love. Karma does that, makes it impossible to ever critique another's path lol.

[heartsound]

Any updates?

[Swfoxtrot]

I pulled my energy away. We kept talking and skyping but it was just casual conversations. She began i feel to miss me being intimate in our conversations. She broke down crying on skype one night and we both let it all out in the open. I cried as well as it was energetically draining to hold in how I felt and not telling her how she makes me feel. Completing her. Being verbally affectionate if that makes sense. She has decided to come to Alaska and spend a week with me and meet my familiy. My only conclusion is that she was just scared. Her being a cancer and having these intense feelings for someone. I'm sure we all can relate.