Doesn’t the drama of it get old?

[hitch]

We’re humans and the narrative of “story” is always in our veins, even as we dream... but how is this not drama?

They run. You run. They leave. You leave. They find someone new. You find someone do. All this push and pull...

Isn’t it so damn dramatic? And at what point did you become flooded with it to the point it’s no longer desirable? Because that’s where I’m at. Is that the point of all of it, to lose one’s desire for the old ways?

[FairyCrystal]

It only becomes a drama when you cannot move on. Personal growth is important and crucial in all areas of life. The area of love offers the best -sometimes also the toughest- arena to learn and grow.
I have not experienced 'they run, you run, they leave, you leave."
Matter of perception and where you are concerning personal growth and insight.

Relationships come and go, if you're lucky one lasts. Whether that does or not again depends on how far both partners have come, or not.

TFs is another story. Most people here are not TFs. You can tell by how they speak, communicate, not heal and lack the ability to move on.
Someone who's ready to be a TF is someone who's far on their Soul path. There is no 'better and not so good' in this, it's not a competition.
Live and learn, grow, evolve. And above all, learn how you can be happy! You don't need a partner for that, certainly not a TF relationship. Unfortunately most believe so, which is what creates drama.

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

There is no 'better and not so good' in this, it's not a competition.
Live and learn, grow, evolve. And above all, learn how you can be happy! You don't need a partner for that, certainly not a TF relationship. Unfortunately most believe so, which is what creates drama.

FairyCrystal : I strongly intend to tell her someday, that I absolutely don't need her and & I know she absolutely doesn't need me either, but I'd really like to have her in my life. That's fine either way, really.

Hitch : Everything doesn't have to be negative. You know, when I look back, I think of her/me running and then chasing was cute. Now I know. We have grown each other on our sides, I'd love to have a talk with her. Well, more than a talk but oh well, come what may, I don't really mind. There's nothing I would have done differently, because it's also why I am how I am today, and so it is for her.

Peace to you both !

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by Tim here

FairyCrystal : I strongly intend to tell her someday, that I absolutely don't need her and & I know she absolutely doesn't need me either, but I'd really like to have her in my life. That's fine either way, really.

Hitch : Everything doesn't have to be negative. You know, when I look back, I think of her/me running and then chasing was cute. Now I know. We have grown each other on our sides, I'd love to have a talk with her. Well, more than a talk but oh well, come what may, I don't really mind. There's nothing I would have done differently, because it's also why I am how I am today, and so it is for her.

Peace to you both !

And to you!

Originally Posted by hitch

We’re humans and the narrative of “story” is always in our veins, even as we dream... but how is this not drama?

They run. You run. They leave. You leave. They find someone new. You find someone do. All this push and pull...

Isn’t it so damn dramatic? And at what point did you become flooded with it to the point it’s no longer desirable? Because that’s where I’m at. Is that the point of all of it, to lose one’s desire for the old ways?

hitch,

The same old narrative,the push and pull dynamic is the altered ego,shadow self,the polar opposite etc,it survives and feeds on drama.

Some of us learn the hard way,as we have more baggage/karma to clear and process etc.

And also be it,stuck in out dated programming,belief systems and self defeating thought patterns and mechanisms etc.

It's process of elimination,clearing,via repetition and going back and forth and going over old ground.

We then reach a point where we tire of the process of chasing our own tail and stop looking outside ourselves and then turn our attention inward and focusing on ourselves and our own journey.

No different to addiction,where someone overcoming addiction,goes through many relapses to not only better understand addiction and the negative driving force,

But also breaking the narrative cycle of inertia on repeat.

I like to refer to the process as taming of the shrew and becoming the master of your own ship.

[hitch]

Good analogy, Ant! It is like chasing your own tail and growing tired of it.

Originally Posted by hitch

Good analogy, Ant! It is like chasing your own tail and growing tired of it.

I know, especially when you catch it and bit down on it only to feel that sharp pain. Then you realize that what you are chasing is something inside of you and that person, place, or thing out there was really just what you were mistakenly believing was going to get you that something. Once you realize this the drama starts to seem a little naive, the chasing less urgent, and one does not bit down so hard right away for fear of breaking a tooth.

“By the time it came to the edge of the Forest, the stream had grown up, so that it was almost a river, and, being grown-up, it did not run and jump and sparkle along as it used to do when it was younger, but moved more slowly. For it knew now where it was going, and it said to itself, “There is no hurry. We shall get there some day.” But all the little streams higher up in the Forest went this way and that, quickly, eagerly, having so much to find out before it was too late.” ― A.A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner

[hitch]

Ketzer!! What a money quote, my friend. Right on target!

Originally Posted by ketzer

I know, especially when you catch it and bit down on it only to feel that sharp pain. Then you realize that what you are chasing is something inside of you and that person, place, or thing out there was really just what you were mistakenly believing was going to get you that something. Once you realize this the drama starts to seem a little naive, the chasing less urgent, and one does not bit down so hard right away for fear of breaking a tooth.

Originally Posted by hitch

Ketzer!! What a money quote, my friend. Right on target!

[hitch]

Ant,

My therapist just said this. She’s New Age and says she has to treat people who believe they are TFs no different than addicts.

She said: “You’ll be amazed at what you tolerated once you start to heal. I can’t tell you how many clients have told me they can’t stand to watch TV or movies because it reflects back to them their addiction and even when they do return to it for entertainment value, it’s no longer the same. The typical drama we are accustomed to in this society has lost its luster. And you find yourself at the beginning of a new path.”