Can I learn to speak to my deceased brother?

[Dargor]

I's better to leave the dead be. I lost my mother not too long ago, but I'm sure if she lived on somewhere she would've prefered me to focus on my life and personal issues instead of wasting time trying to contact her.

Originally Posted by Greenslade

I am sorry for your loss.

I'd be very careful of this. It's possible that his ex-gf has been conjuring things up in her mind, it's one of the ways the mind can cope with grief. And yes, the mind is easily capable of such things. Being your twin I'm guessing that you had a deeper bond than most siblings so it's not difficult to think that perhaps your grief is as deep. This is not the way to go about it and from personal experience it can so easily lead to all kinds of mental health issues.

The best thing you can probably do for now is find some kind of closure for your loss and find a way to move on with your Life, if not all you're doing is simply making it worse for yourself. The other thing is that it's possible that you're hurting your sibling, they're moving on yet all you're doing is holding them back. In Spirit, that causes confusion and really the best thing is to allow them to move on.

Sorry for your loss of Brother and Father.LibraTaurusEnergy23

I agree with what Greenslade says here.

Please grieve your losses, pray for your brothers and fathers journey.

There are cultures that don't speak a deceased ones name for a year to not hold them back.

Originally Posted by LibraTaurusEnergy23

Wow this was very powerful message. It resonates with me. I do not want to hold him back I love him with every inch of me. I do want what’s best for me as well. I’m all over the place in my head right now. And the purpose of my life is weighing in. What does this all mean what is my purpose what was the purpose for my dear brothers death what kind of lesson was that? I’m trying. I am. the support and wisdom im receiving is opening my eyes. I can’t thank you enough for taking your time to write to me. Thank you a million times over my friend. I truly am thankful for you and I needed to hear your message.

What I'm trying to do here is ease you through this gently, there are other things I can say but if your head is all over the shop that doesn't make good groundwork for anything else.

Stop trying. The Universe has your back covered so relax and let everything unfold, the Universe will take care of the rest. Similarly with your Life's Purpose. You are your Life's Purpose so allow that to unfold as well, everything else will become emergent. Hold to your own centre, hold to what's internal to you.

What often happens is that people tend to try and fight the pain and grief or try to find some way of being rid of it. What they seldom do is listen to what it has to tell them. And I'm not saying you should wallow in self pity but acknowledge what arises within you. If you feel like bawling your eyes out, do that. If you feel like venting your spleen, that's OK but don't cause any harm. Just allow yourself to experience it and Honour it just the same as a p[art of you.

The other thing that's worth remembering is that the mess your head is in and the morass of feelings is a measure of your capacity to feel Love for him. Common sense will tell you that if you didn't feel anything for him, you would never have started this thread.

For the time being let go of Life's Purpose, lessons and anything else. They'll become emergent when your head is a little less chaotic. What it means has yet to manifest and more than likely it won't because the realisations it may bring wouldn't be too well received under your current state of mind anyway.

Nothing happens TO you, everything happens BECAUSE of you so there are rhymes and reasons for things happening, and generally they make you the person you are - or at least an ingredient of. Similarly with your brother. You see, you are your Life's Purpose.

Sometimes Souls become incarnate to explore certain themes and one of the biggies is Love. Love as deep as this is powerful, especially across planes of existence and although your brother will be having a different experience right now - obviously being in Spirit - the chances are he's still experiencing loss, grief......

Live your Life, Love your brother in whatever way suits you and keep him in your Heart of Hearts always. When you feel as though your lungs are being squeezed out of your chest by an eruption of emotion you'll know all about this kind of communication.Everything else you'll need will emerge from that changed state of consciousness.


You're very welcome my friend. Perhaps in time you'll come back and give us an update, that would be nice.

Originally Posted by SlayerOfLight

I's better to leave the dead be. I lost my mother not too long ago, but I'm sure if she lived on somewhere she would've prefered me to focus on my life and personal issues instead of wasting time trying to contact her.

I'm sorry for your loss, Slayer

I used to be a working medium. and things change when you see them from that perspective. I had a very strong message for one of my colleagues that knocked her on her backside. It came from an aunt that had passed over and the message was something like "Choose the blue curtains, the silver ones don't work." She'd been down looking at curtains the day before and she couldn't choose between blue or silver. While the message itself seems very trivial, what it does point out is that our Loved Ones see more than we know and they're seldom far away.


If you were your mother, what advice would you give you?

[LibraTaurusEnergy23]

Originally Posted by Greenslade

I'm sorry for your loss, Slayer

I used to be a working medium. and things change when you see them from that perspective. I had a very strong message for one of my colleagues that knocked her on her backside. It came from an aunt that had passed over and the message was something like "Choose the blue curtains, the silver ones don't work." She'd been down looking at curtains the day before and she couldn't choose between blue or silver. While the message itself seems very trivial, what it does point out is that our Loved Ones see more than we know and they're seldom far away.


If you were your mother, what advice would you give you?

Greenslade, I still cannot thank you enough again for your kind heart to provide me with an understanding bc my heart is completely shattered. I come on here often to read your post to me. It gives me strength and comfort. Today I had a good day. I cry every single day. I miss joe so much. I can’t stand it it hurts so bad. I am able to function and work have a social life I’m not stuck up crying 24/7 it’s mostly when I’m alone I fall apart. Tonight on my way home I got this huge rush of anxiety. Our time on earth was so short it’s not fair I’m a twin I need my twin I know you say one day I’ll have answers but it’s just not something I can live with. It’s miserable to think everything has a meaning things happen for a reason which I believe but it’s not right it’s not ok that this happened to my brother and if everything happens bc of me I could have stopped it. I just got so overwhelmed thinking what if this is really it?? What if this time on earth is really it. I should have helped more I should have been in his life more I should have called him every single day he didn’t have the strength so I should have compensated for him I don’t know how to live anymore happy I mean I wasn’t happy before he died bc I was always sad that my twin was so lost in drugs he caused himself so much pain ...I lived with sadness knowing all of this but I could have done more and if I did he might still be here on this earth with me. And what if this is really it?? We don’t know ..no one really knows and that right there is what is killing me inside. What if this is really it?? Well if it is I’m done. I want to be with my brother again and If I can’t I don’t see any point bc I don’t k ow why this happened there will never be a understanding. If there is an after life what? Re incarnation? Great then We will never be in each other’s lives again like we were. I want my twin brother back here now living and experienceing life here now..I feel I have no purpose now..like what am I doing I know you said don’t focus on life purpose now bc I’m not in a good mindset right now but before he passed I did have a purpose it was to be this strong Independent woman so joe would follow my lead and help himself bc he is supposed to be here with me living this life ...I didn’t get enough time with him greenslade😭😭😭 he left for the army mid 20’s and when he got back he was so involved in drugs I didn’t know him. What I’m saying is all we had was childhood...we were supposed to grow up have children...now I don’t want any children I don’t want any of that. I just don’t care about life now I have no motivation and that’s scary. Basically if this is all we have here on earth what’s the point of anything? I’m sorry I don’t even know if I’m making sense or going off into tangents that don’t make sense my mind is still all over the place. I still have not heard or seen of him or my father they are both just gone gone and I’m over here like what??? Everyone moves on with life and I’m like what??? I have a good head on my shoulders so I know all of the life waits for no one life goes on all that Jazz but goodness it’s so hard to try and be positive all the time it’s so hard and it feels fake I just feel like a big piece of fake and when I’m alone all I do is get in my feels and of course I’m not going to call my mommy or my friend and whine ...I’ve never been that type of person to lean on someone when I’m down I just pick myself back up and that’s the was it’s always been. Maybe my father and brother not always being a strong male figure in my Life was meaning to make me stronger but that’s absurd to think why did I have to loose my men...it’s just not right. I am just desperate for some kind of connection with my brother again I feel so empty.

[LibraTaurusEnergy23]

Originally Posted by God-Like

Hey :)

Soul mates, twins, twin flames all have a stronger sense of being apart of each other and as I well know of late how difficult it is to lose one of them. It really does feel that part of you has died and life feels pretty bleak and pointless for a while.

This is quite natural to feel and it takes as long as it takes to realign and adjust to the shock and the trauma that effects the mind-body in many ways.

Even though I have been working with spirit for years on end and I know of everlasting life it doesn't prepare you for the physical loss but it does help somewhat in regards to knowing they are still getting on with their lives elsewhere and can visit as often as they like it's just not the same as it used to be .

Depending on how emotional one is and how vulnerable one is will reflect in what transpires from the other side of life in regards to visitation from spirit.

I had dreams after my mum passed over where she wouldn't look me in the eye, because as soon as that happened it would of been too much for me to bear .

Gradually the dreams changed where I could stand my own and look her in the eye and not breakdown, so what I am saying to you is there is a gradual process involved in regards to all of this and it depends on the individuals at hand from both sides of the veil.

Take it easy and take caution like G.S. has said because where there is strong emotion there is a build up of energy and where there is a build up of energy there is an attraction to that from above and from below ..

What I found helped is to continue to speak to my mum as if she was still here and I would speak to her about all the things that I used to speak to her about when she was of the earth .. What is also extremely beneficial to both is to be happy for them no matter how much it hurts to be so ..

The thing is with grief it normally effects those hardest who are left behind so to speak, it's like one is left to deal with life on their own while the other is dancing the night away in another dimension lol, so we have to be honest with ourselves and try and be happy for their new lease of life experience .. easier said than done I know, but unconditional love isn't about the lack and the loss one feels, it is about loving them and setting them free ..

In this true exchange of selflessness actually helps oneself in the process and it's not like letting a bird out of a cage never to return, in fact it's quite the opposite.


x daz x

Thank you Daz. I appreciate your message to me it has really resonated with me and I’m very thankful that you took the time to help me understand and hear your story and I’m so sorry for your loss too my friend. Like you advised I should set him free and be happy for him and try not to be sad I try so hard I really do. I don’t want to hold his experience back with my tears. I love him so much and just thinking of him seeing how sad I am that he is gone makes me sad he is most likely sad tooo and we are both sad and can’t comfort each other.i cry everyday. Today was actually a good day but I got extremely bad anxiety thinking about what if there is nothing after this life hearing earth what if the only time my brother and I had were here on earth and what if I never see him again. It’s scary but no one really knows how do we know. We just didn’t have enough time and I’m so desperate for a connection. I feel so empty and I’m just all over the place in my feelings. I’ve never been religious I don’t follow any religion and honestly it’s never been an issue until my brother passed. Now I’m like what’s up with god? Is there a god ...so what’s the deal after life? You know all those questions it makes me feel even more empty inside like what do I even believe in? What the heck am I actually doing here lol and maybe I should really learn something or believe in something ...anything ...I feel very hopeless and lost and I’m sure that’s normal after loosing someone but to be honest with you I’ve always felt this way....just lost.. Trying be happy trying to get love trying to understand life ..
I really hope you’re right and he is dancing in another dimension. I’m just over here like yes people believe that but then you have people believe in Jesus or Buddha and so on so what is really right? Does anyone really know. I just really miss my joe. My heart hurts so bad but I’m trying to not be so it doesn’t hold him back in anyway but Omgosh life is hard but now goodness it’s even harder and I try so hard to look at the beautiful things and life and be grateful I really do I am a positive person love to laugh and watch the sunset look up into the moon bask in the sunlight appreciate Mother Nature and Mother Earth I really do but am I really supposed to enjoy it on my own? All of us? Bc how can I ever be truly happy again it’s just not going to happen. Loosing him makes me so sad for anyone on this earth who has lost someone. Someone gone too soon someone looses someone everyday and my heart hurts. People loose people everyday and in worse conditions that I experienced and it breaks my heart it also makes me feel grateful I did have 33 years with him and I’m thankful for that. I am. But goodness i don’t know if I’m making sense maybe My brain is trying to make sense of all of this as I respond. But I wanted to reach out to you and thank you for being a light for me in this dark road in on right now.

[LibraTaurusEnergy23]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Wonderful posts.
I wanted to add...and it could take awhile to 'hear' from him...weeks.
He's on a wonderful adventure!
And then one day 'something' happens.
Keep giving him your love and well wishes.

I remember I heard somewhere it is in the 'just drifting off to sleep, and esp, just waking
that it is the easiest for them to get through, before your mind engages.'
That is, since many people don't sit in silence.

I still have yet to hear from him. I appreciate your kind words my friend it really does make me feel better ❤️

[LibraTaurusEnergy23]

Originally Posted by peteyzen

I Have no definite solution to your situation, I just wanted to offer my condolences and to wish you and your family all the best and suggest one option.
Its a long shot, but in the healing threads there is a thread called `the healing hand`, if you go to it and go to the very first post and follow the instructions there, ask for help and also for what you would like , it might oblige.

kind regards
Pete

Pete thank you for the advice. I’m going to do that right now. I have yet to hear from him. But patiently waiting. I just want to know he is ok. I feel so empty.

Originally Posted by LibraTaurusEnergy23

Tonight on my way home I got this huge rush of anxiety. Our time on earth was so short it’s not fair I’m a twin I need my twin I know you say one day I’ll have answers but it’s just not something I can live with. It’s miserable to think everything has a meaning things happen for a reason which I believe but it’s not right it’s not ok that this happened to my brother and if everything happens bc of me I could have stopped it. I just got so overwhelmed thinking what if this is really it?? What if this time on earth is really it. I should have helped more I should have been in his life more I should have called him every single day he didn’t have the strength so I should have compensated for him I don’t know how to live anymore happy I mean I wasn’t happy before he died bc I was always sad that my twin was so lost in drugs he caused himself so much pain ...I lived with sadness knowing all of this but I could have done more and if I did he might still be here on this earth with me. And what if this is really it?? We don’t know ..no one really knows and that right there is what is killing me inside. What if this is really it?? Well if it is I’m done. I want to be with my brother again and If I can’t I don’t see any point bc I don’t k ow why this happened there will never be a understanding. If there is an after life what? Re incarnation? Great then We will never be in each other’s lives again like we were. I want my twin brother back here now living and experienceing life here now..I feel I have no purpose now..like what am I doing I know you said don’t focus on life purpose now

HI there Libra, I'm sorry you feel this way but I'm afraid I'm not about to give you any tea and sympathy because I don't think it's what you need. Right now I think you have to vent your spleen and get all of these feelings off your chest, express it all and that includes the guilt complex. What you're going through is natural. Do yourself one favour though, Honour the feelings you have in whatever shape or form they come in - including thinking it's not fair and what you think you should have done.

Don't bother trying to feel positive because all that does really is put a gloss on what you're really feeling, and it doesn't acknowledge what's really going on inside. It causes conflict when you feel bad and you're trying to tell yourself you shouldn't.

What you're going through right now is because of your capacity to feel Love, because the simple fact is that if you didn't feel anything for them - and I'm guessing you didn't really come to terms with losing your father - then you wouldn't be feeling this way. And yes, sometimes it does feel as though you're nailed to a cross that you can't get off but the depths to which you can feel the pain are the same depths to which your heart can Love. Just right now your Heart is full of loss and not much of what I'm going to say is going to help you in the short term because you have to go through whatever it is you're going through right now in your own way.

You see Libra, the depths to which we fall are the heights to which we can rise when we realise that we can take all that pain and hurt and make it work for us.

So, to answer something that's probably foremost on your mind. This is not the end, the end of Life on this plane of existence is not all there is. Just right now Joe is being looked after by... angels, Guides... whatever other word you want to use. I'm a medium, by the way. Putting into terms you'll understand better he's still a little 'raw' because sometimes as Spirit, we need a little time to adjust from one existence to the other. It's going to take him a little time to come to terms with his 'old Life' but he's with people that can help him. And no, I'm not saying that just to make you feel better. I know Life is eternal even though being in your shoes right now it might not feel like it.

I know from my own experience that whatever we are given is there for a reason, and that reason is not to tear you apart but to give you something that you're going to need in the future. Right now you have two choices, you can either succumb to your grief or you can use it to make yourself stronger and only you can make that choice. I also know from experience that our Loved Ones are always looking down on us, they know what we're going through. Just right now you're not ready to hear much more and you're not anywhere near ready for any kind of connection, if you did make any kind of connection it would only make matters worse.

As long as you can feel Joe in your heart of Hearts you're not that far away, because that Love will carry the both of you through. For the short term you have to deal with your grief in your own way and find your way through this but remember one thing because it's important. The sense of loss and whatever else you feel is a measure of your Love for him, and that's what's going to see you through this.