Not sure where to put this

Gwendoylnariel · #1 10-12-2017, 09:23 AM

Six years ago I forged a bond with another person who formed a brother/sister soul bond but however due to circumstances the person no longer shared no longer cares about me and would view me as pathetic if I made contact with him so I saw it as a reason to cut off the special bond between us but cutting him off has left me really depressed, feeling like I betrayed him and knowing that I may have done the wrong thing.
What should I do? The person has no foreseeable want to talk to me.

FairyCrystal · #2 10-12-2017, 09:51 AM

Then don't cut him off. Love him as much as you can. You don't need to talk to him for that. That would likely not even be wise. And you don't love him as much as you can for him, you do that for you --> when you block the flow of love, you are hurting yourself. You are cutting yourself off from the flow of happiness and love. So don't do that. We always tend to do that when another hurts us. But be honest: did you suddenly stop loving him when he was unpleasant to you? I doubt it. If so, you didn't really love him. So you do still love him, you are just hurt by him. But hurt or not, don't block your love for him. Let it flow, so you can flow again. And with that not only your love for him, but the vital life force that is called 'love' will begin to flow again as well. You are pinching yourself off now from your own connection which is why you feel depressed.
So love him as much as you can -you still do anyways, you cannot stop that-, let that love be, then focus on you and your life. ALlow yourself to love 'you' too.

Also, don't try to cut someone out of your life when you yourself aren't truly ready for this yet. It won't work, it will backfire and you'll end up hurting yourself. You may want to do so in anger, but then later on find you weren't ready nor willing to make such a big step yet.
In your case that doesn't mean you try to initiate contact, nor focus on that. Simply allow yourself to love him still. At some point it will peter out, you will find alignment again without him.

Dargor · #3 10-12-2017, 09:55 AM

Just let go and move on.... I don't understand why you would waste time and energy on someone who clearly isn't worth it, if a relationship is only one-sided.

Gwendoylnariel · #4 10-12-2017, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

Then don't cut him off. Love him as much as you can. You don't need to talk to him for that. That would likely not even be wise. And you don't love him as much as you can for him, you do that for you --> when you block the flow of love, you are hurting yourself. You are cutting yourself off from the flow of happiness and love. So don't do that. We always tend to do that when another hurts us. But be honest: did you suddenly stop loving him when he was unpleasant to you? I doubt it. If so, you didn't really love him. So you do still love him, you are just hurt by him. But hurt or not, don't block your love for him. Let it flow, so you can flow again. And with that not only your love for him, but the vital life force that is called 'love' will begin to flow again as well. You are pinching yourself off now from your own connection which is why you feel depressed.
So love him as much as you can -you still do anyways, you cannot stop that-, let that love be, then focus on you and your life. ALlow yourself to love 'you' too.

Also, don't try to cut someone out of your life when you yourself aren't truly ready for this yet. It won't work, it will backfire and you'll end up hurting yourself. You may want to do so in anger, but then later on find you weren't ready nor willing to make such a big step yet.
In your case that doesn't mean you try to initiate contact, nor focus on that. Simply allow yourself to love him still. At some point it will peter out, you will find alignment again without him.

I loved him for years and he never gives back and never wants to talk, isolates himself from me, goes out of his way to badmouth me, insulting me and calling me pathetic. He's cut me out from his life but we were connected spiritually somehow but I cut him out so I don't feel for him. It just hurt because I wanted to feel legitimate love for him but all I get is scorn and pain from him. I haven't been on goods terms for 4 years with him and it's been 6 years after the bond was formed. I just wish he would realise how much I care for him and he didn't so I had to cut him off for my own good. I hurt him emotionally years ago and all of this is my fault but he hates me to a point I feel estranged from him. He refuses to give me another chance. I should note he was unaware of our past spiritual bond.

#5 10-12-2017, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gwendoylnariel

I love him for years and he never gives back and never wants to talk, isolates himself from me, goes out of his way to badmouth me, insulting me and calling me pathetic. He's cut me out from his life but we were connected spiritually somehow but I cut him out so I don't feel for him. It just hurt because I wanted to feel legitimate love for him but all I get is scorn and pain from him. I haven't been on goods terms for 4 years with him and it's been 6 years after the bond was formed. I just wish he would realise how much I care for him and he didn't so I had to cut him off for my own good. I hurt him emotionally years ago and all of this is my fault but he hates me to a point I feel estranged from him. He refuses to give me another chance.

Then, as SlayerOfLight says, you really have to move on. Don't fritter more of your life on what seems a lost cause. Sometimes when one hurts another the damage can't be made good and we learn our biggest lessons about ourselves this way.
.

Dargor · #6 10-12-2017, 11:58 AM

^ I'm afraid it falls on deaf ears, because I usually give the kind of advice that people don't want to hear even though it's based on logic and reason. Oh well, at least we tried

FairyCrystal · #7 10-12-2017, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gwendoylnariel

I loved him for years and he never gives back and never wants to talk, isolates himself from me, goes out of his way to badmouth me, insulting me and calling me pathetic. He's cut me out from his life but we were connected spiritually somehow but I cut him out so I don't feel for him. It just hurt because I wanted to feel legitimate love for him but all I get is scorn and pain from him. I haven't been on goods terms for 4 years with him and it's been 6 years after the bond was formed. I just wish he would realise how much I care for him and he didn't so I had to cut him off for my own good. I hurt him emotionally years ago and all of this is my fault but he hates me to a point I feel estranged from him. He refuses to give me another chance. I should note he was unaware of our past spiritual bond.

Please re-read what I said... You shouldn't love him for HIM but for you feeling better.
You clearly want to 'love' him only to get something back from him. That is not love at all. That is neediness. I wasn't talking about neediness and co-dependency, I was talking about love.
I can understand the difference may be difficult to grasp because you're so focused on what you feel now, rejection, hurt and so on. Basically you are totally focused on him and feeling upset because he doesn't give you what you feel you deserve to get from him.
But... He is NOT responsible for your happiness and how you feel. YOU are. If he makes you miserable, cut him out of your life, if that makes you miserable, love him as much as you can but do NOT expect anything from him in return. That is NOT love.
I do invite you to read this post and my previous one again a few times... You may not like what you read, but if you want to get out of how you feel... it will help you.

Illuminata007 · #8 10-12-2017, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gwendoylnariel

I loved him for years and he never gives back and never wants to talk, isolates himself from me, goes out of his way to badmouth me, insulting me and calling me pathetic. He's cut me out from his life but we were connected spiritually somehow but I cut him out so I don't feel for him. It just hurt because I wanted to feel legitimate love for him but all I get is scorn and pain from him. I haven't been on goods terms for 4 years with him and it's been 6 years after the bond was formed. I just wish he would realise how much I care for him and he didn't so I had to cut him off for my own good. I hurt him emotionally years ago and all of this is my fault but he hates me to a point I feel estranged from him. He refuses to give me another chance. I should note he was unaware of our past spiritual bond.

I would strongly suggest cord cutting. 4 years is a long time hilding i to a dead bond. I imagine he had anpke time to rethink this and has chosen to not reconnect.

Gwendoylnariel · #9 10-12-2017, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Illuminata007

I would strongly suggest cord cutting. 4 years is a long time hilding i to a dead bond. I imagine he had anpke time to rethink this and has chosen to not reconnect.

Strangely it was still connected when I suggested cord cutting. A friend helped to make sure it was done on both ends. Not sure how my former soul brother will react though, apparently my friend sensed a lot of anger subconsciously from my former soul brother. The thread is about the emotional damage from severing the bonds.

Illuminata007 · #10 10-12-2017, 04:45 PM

My typing on my phone is a challenge, sorry for the typos. You may instead want to do an energy refund. You take back all the energy you invested in the connection including any projection, wishes, expectations and send his back to him with love. Make sure your in a good space so you are not sending anger unconsciously.