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  #11  
Old 19-01-2015, 01:48 PM
Rawnrr Rawnrr is offline
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All my life I have always felt a disconnect with the world.
My earliest memory of grade school was standing there at recess and looking at the other kids playing and wondering how they understand how to do that and why I "never got the manual".
There was always a disconnect with the world. Which lead to alot of really tough times in my life...simply because I didnt quite "get it".
Now as an adult, I have a son, who when he was in kindergarten was diagnosed with autism (high functioning), but I remember in the doctors office when she told us about how his brain works different than other people, and listening to what she described, I said "but that is not different that IS normal". .....then the light went on....I have always been on the autism spectrum and was simply never diagnosed.
Now that I have that understanding and have studied about autism, so much of my life now makes alot more sense.
I am not saying you may be on the autism spectrum, but it might be worth looking into. Once you know about such things, you start to realize that you are not so abnormal, and it makes finding ways for dealing with things alot easier.

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Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. - Shari R Barr
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  #12  
Old 19-01-2015, 03:27 PM
pljames
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Look into a mirror then talk to the person you see there. Ask every question you can think of to ask the person in the mirror. Believe it or not that person is the real you and will listen. That person is your best friend and needs your love.
Give it the love it needs and it will return that love ten times over. Paul
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  #13  
Old 20-01-2015, 01:16 AM
agalo379
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It sounds like you are disassociating. I have had similar problems with "dreaming my life away." When I "officially" became an "adult," I suddenly woke up and realized that I didn't know how to live.

The thing is, there is no "How to..." book on living. It is an action you just do. You're doing it now. I think it might be helpful to look at what you are trying to accomplish. What do you mean when you say that you don't know how to live? For me, one thing was that I didn't know how to interact with people nor be a part of a community (I still don't think I've figured all of that out yet). As it turns out, I had learned some bad behaviors growing up and had to teach myself different ways of communicating, especially when I was hurt. Some things changed, but some behaviors stuck with me. I think the ones that stuck just have to do with me being "weird." :P

So, what about you? What part of life are you struggling the most with? From what I have read, you might have a problem with control. Do you feel like you do not have control over anything?--like life is just happening to you and you have no say in what happens?
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  #14  
Old 20-01-2015, 11:17 PM
Natively Libran Natively Libran is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 396
 
--Star-Nancy--, you've got some great support on this thread! Life is a journey, not a destination, we each are learning how to "live" everyday. Know that you're not alone. In regards to your specific situation, there's a great book by this prominent author Laurie Halse Anderson that is reflective of your struggles. The main characters in the book both struggled with eating disorders. It's titled Wintergirls. It's deeply intense but overall a good read. Here's a passage that struck a chord with me...I've dealt with depression and I could relate to this.

“Another page turns on the calendar, April now, not March. I am spinning the silk threads of my story, weaving the fabric of my world...I spun out of control. Eating was hard. Breathing was hard. Living was hardest. I wanted to swallow the bitter seeds of forgetfulness...Somehow, I dragged myself out of the dark and asked for help. I spin and weave and knit my words and visions until a life starts to take shape. There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore. I am thawing.” L.H. Anderson
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  #15  
Old 20-01-2015, 11:45 PM
BlueSky BlueSky is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natively Libran
--Star-Nancy--, you've got some great support on this thread! Life is a journey, not a destination, we each are learning how to "live" everyday. Know that you're not alone. In regards to your specific situation, there's a great book by this prominent author Laurie Halse Anderson that is reflective of your struggles. The main characters in the book both struggled with eating disorders. It's titled Wintergirls. It's deeply intense but overall a good read. Here's a passage that struck a chord with me...I've dealt with depression and I could relate to this.

“Another page turns on the calendar, April now, not March. I am spinning the silk threads of my story, weaving the fabric of my world...I spun out of control. Eating was hard. Breathing was hard. Living was hardest. I wanted to swallow the bitter seeds of forgetfulness...Somehow, I dragged myself out of the dark and asked for help. I spin and weave and knit my words and visions until a life starts to take shape. There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore. I am thawing.” L.H. Anderson
That was really nice....
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  #16  
Old 21-01-2015, 12:11 AM
Bsoul Bsoul is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 140
 
Oh, Star-Nancy! Try to come to the knowing that you are good enough. You will find some really great help here. I had a lot typed out that I wanted to say, but I erased it, because I did not want to hurt anyone's feelings just so I would look like a wise one. Sometimes I make no sense at all. It sounds like you are working on your physical health and that is such an important step to take. Please come back and tell us how you are today. Don't watch the "pretty people" on TV. Do something for yourself. Even if it's a nice hot bath. Take it one baby step at a time. I'm glad you found us here!
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  #17  
Old 06-02-2015, 08:42 AM
DaveAdams
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Hey Nancy Star you might not realise this, but well done for not giving up you must be a pretty strong person deep down inside....You sound like my little sister Susie who's the greatest person you could imagine, but who's had a very painful skin condition & more than her fair share of unwanted experiences in her past..She hasn't realised this yet & won't believe me even though I know this is true, & it sounds to me like your still struggling with why all this seems to have happened to you..Now this is just my opinion but I've done a lot of research into this, & believe me I've studied life from every possible angle & come up with some pretty amazing conclusions....One of them involves people like you that have been through, but come through some very tough times emotionally/mentally..I like to call the people like you & me & my little sister Susie, as well as many others around the world: The potential "teachers" of how to show/help other people to come through, the exact same experiences that you yourself managed to come through which will bring you real contentment..Of course you could say that you know you definitely didn't choose the unwanted/sad experiences that you received, & I would 100% believe you but somebody has to experience them for life to be a true lesson/test, & it's my belief that people like you are chosen because your deemed to be strong enough to eventually pull through, & then be able to show/teach others how to pull through..You have a job so hold onto your job while you build some strong foundations, & try to get on top of all the little things that you can get on top of..Have as much fun as you can shake a stick at, & keep working on yourself eat plenty & build your strength up (plenty of walks/bike rides that sort of thing).. :-)
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  #18  
Old 06-02-2015, 10:15 AM
Miss Hepburn Miss Hepburn is offline
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Hi Dave,
I'm finding it hard to read your posts because there
are no spaces or paragraphs....too compacted or tightly typed.
Sorry.
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Prepare yourself for the coming astral journey of death by daily riding in the balloon of God-perception.
Through delusion you are perceiving yourself as a bundle of flesh and bones, which at best is a nest of troubles.
Meditate unceasingly, that you may quickly behold yourself as the Infinite Essence, free from every form of misery. ~Paramahansa's Guru's Guru
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