Advice needed - journey

[thetwinflamechaser]

Hi everyone,

I just registered to this forum to try to find a bit of clarity and help regarding my current situation.
After separating from a 10 year relationship with my now ex-wife, I met this amazing lady few months ago.
From day one, we clicked and connected in a surprising and unexpected deep manner.
Albeit quite different (she is 14 years younger than me for instance) we immediately developed a bond like I had never experienced before.
Spending all our evenings together, flow-less conversations, chatting all day long, time felt like it stopped. We discovered many (stupid?) similarities, she is born the same day as my father, studied at the same university as my sister, works in the same industry than I do etc… We would even experience some kind of weird telepathy, such as me having a nightmare at the exact same time someone would bother her in public transport or her reaching out to me just when I was feeling down (and I do feel good 99% of the time :))!
It felt like home and we weren’t getting tired of it.
We started to mention the unconditional love we felt for each other, words we had never used before.
So after a couple of weeks, I searched on the internet, trying to figure out what was happening to us.
And that’s how I found out about this twin flame «theory*». Suddenly everything was making sense. I remember showing her a website that was describing the twin flame state and the feelings associated, and we cried in each other arms, realizing all of this was suddenly making so much sense.
She then moved back to Europe (we were leaving in Asia). I remember feeling the deepest sorrow ever, and at the same time we were saying to each other that we were connected no matter what and the connection would remain strong in spite of the distance.
We have had next to 0 physical contact, even though there was definitely a mutual attraction. It felt like we were brother and sister, best friends ever, whereas we had only met a few weeks before…
She also had a boyfriend (3 year relationship - she broke up with him) and she was not prepared at that time to break up with him anyway.
Then life (and my professional career) unexpectedly brought me back to Europe, same city as her. Whereas I was initially supposed to stay in Asia at least for the next 2 years.
When we saw each other again, it was deeper than ever, extremely intense.
We would speak openly about this and how happy we were to meet again and be able to be in the same city.
One night we finally made love, something we both wanted for a long time, even though we were afraid that this would alter the amazing relationship we had.
Love making was also incredible, I think the deep connection we had developed for months made the whole sex thing even more intense.
This lasted for about 5 months. We never really officialized anything, and I could feel that despite the amazing bond, she was afraid to «*commit*»and start a new official relationship.
I think the age difference, my situation as a divorced parent, etc was scaring her. I also remember her telling me that this connection was actually scaring her somehow (because it was too intense) and that she was afraid to lose herself in it…
So after these 5 months she told me she needed to have time for herself, that she still loved me unconditionally but that she was not ready to start something with me.
I told her I fully understood and respected her decision and that I only wanted her to be happy. And I do.
But at the same time I do feel hurt since I did develop deeper feelings for her.
I did not really tell her. She told me that she was afraid that if we were to continue to make love this would create additional feelings and that she was not ready for it.
I don’t really mind about the physical aspect of our relationship. I just feel her fear and it saddens me…
I have been trying to «*forget*» her but she is constantly on my mind.
It feels to me like perhaps we could have the «*best*» potential relationship ever…
I am trying to think about myself, I want to think that this was all maybe just a dream, that this twin flame thing does not exist, but I find the whole situation extremely hard to cope with. I want to surrender and find peace, but it’s not that easy…
I do not want to push her, I respect her decision and I only wish her well, but I feel like my heart was shattered in pieces and that something that I had never felt before was suddenly being taken away from me.
I believe I need time, but I also would love to get some advice.
Thank you for reading me.
Sending all my love and positive energy.

[Ziusudra]

Well you already know what her concerns are:

the age difference, my situation as a divorced parent, etc was scaring her. I also remember her telling me that this connection was actually scaring her somehow (because it was too intense) and that she was afraid to lose herself in it…

These are valid issues for her and she is very honest with you.

She told me ........ she was not ready to start something with me.

As you already know, there is nothing you can do to change your age, your status as a divorce parent, the intensity of the connection, or her need for the break.

So, What is your question?

'Forget her' probably does not work if it is a true TF connection.
Because 'Forget her' is impossible due to constant energy connection.
However, 'just accept and embrace her' as a part of new your realm can be the effective way to manage the connection. - whether or not she will be in your physical life from now on.

[LonLon]

14 years age difference is nothing bro....if it's 100 years then we'll talk.
Your "marriage" with your tf will be made based on the totally different sets of principles made in Heaven (which may not reflect reality nor materialize into this world) so what are you worrying bout?
I've been separate from mine from the start (for about 3-4 years) but I've been alright since my connection with him at 5D is beyond comparison with the ones I get to have in this world.

IMO,TF relationship is really not about "qualifying" to be the one, but about accepting your fate and that's what your partner will be doing, too. (just as Ziusudra is saying above, "accept and embrace her" but it's also not just you and her, life, and world itself)
This might not happen soon but you'll get used to its particularity eventually but meanwhile, do not focus too much on its particularity/specialty because your thought will get drifted away by it (mostly led by your ego) from essence and trying to interpret and judge it in order to make sense won't help much.

[Inika]

Accept what is. Allow how it is.

Peace then comes

[thetwinflamechaser]

Thank you very much for your message. I guess i knew the answer but I felt like I needed to share. I know I need to accept this situation and embrace it all.
It's just so hard to let go sometimes.
I have absolutely no negative feelings towards her.
Just sadness. I guess I have a lot or inner work to do and I will. I feel like I am learning from this amazing experience, however painful it might be at times.
:)

[thetwinflamechaser]

Thanks a lot for your message.
How do you manage to connect in 5D? Meditation?
I feel like this higher vibration connection is definitely a "solution" to this journey. And the purest form of connecting with her soul.
As I wrote I am just worried that maybe I made all of this up, even though deep down I do know it has been a unique and deep experience.
I am just a bit worried that I may never be able to be with someone else...
I know I have to let go of the fear, ego based 3D feelings...
Just feels sometimes that it's easier said than done.
I am going to work on it :)
Thank you again.

Originally Posted by LonLon

14 years age difference is nothing bro....if it's 100 years then we'll talk.
Your "marriage" with your tf will be made based on the totally different sets of principles made in Heaven (which may not reflect reality nor materialize into this world) so what are you worrying bout?
I've been separate from mine from the start (for about 3-4 years) but I've been alright since my connection with him at 5D is beyond comparison with the ones I get to have in this world.

IMO,TF relationship is really not about "qualifying" to be the one, but about accepting your fate and that's what your partner will be doing, too. (just as Ziusudra is saying above, "accept and embrace her" but it's also not just you and her, life, and world itself)
This might not happen soon but you'll get used to its particularity eventually but meanwhile, do not focus too much on its particularity/specialty because your thought will get drifted away by it (mostly led by your ego) from essence and trying to interpret and judge it in order to make sense won't help much.

[thetwinflamechaser]

Originally Posted by Inika

Accept what is. Allow how it is.

Peace then comes

I will! Working on it. Thank you so much!

[Anne]

When one is caught up in love for someone yet needing to take a step back in order to allow and accept, it is difficult and painful, if not debilitating at times. The crux of such journeys into heart and soul:
Let it Be, and take time for self care.

To thetwinflamechaser, I understand your sadness and the idea you have made this all up, yet wondering and unwilling to seek another. My situation makes me sad too...
Maybe just give it a bit more time and send up a prayer for patience and clarity. Well, that’s the advice I hope to follow...

A word of caution- 5D is something but it’s not everything.. Beware of rabbit holes. While it’s fun to believe in dreams and synchronicities, they do not help with a close hug or getting the chores done in 3D, lol.

[thetwinflamechaser]

Thank you Anne,
Hard to take a step back indeed in such a situation.
I am sorry about your situation as well.
I will give it time, I am just trying to refrain myself from reaching out to her...
And focus on myself.
I think this is what I need for the time being.
I wish you the best! :)

Originally Posted by Anne

When one is caught up in love for someone yet needing to take a step back in order to allow and accept, it is difficult and painful, if not debilitating at times. The crux of such journeys into heart and soul:
Let it Be, and take time for self care.

To thetwinflamechaser, I understand your sadness and the idea you have made this all up, yet wondering and unwilling to seek another. My situation makes me sad too...
Maybe just give it a bit more time and send up a prayer for patience and clarity. Well, that’s the advice I hope to follow...

A word of caution- 5D is something but it’s not everything.. Beware of rabbit holes. While it’s fun to believe in dreams and synchronicities, they do not help with a close hug or getting the chores done in 3D, lol.

[Ziusudra]

Originally Posted by thetwinflamechaser

It's just so hard to let go sometimes.
:)

This is where you have to change and to just embrace her energy/soul connection into your space.
You are not letting go of anything.
If she turns out to be truly your TF, her energy/soul connections will stay connected with you forever.
In fact, this energy/soul connections will overpower any of your physical connection/experience with her. - as time passes.

In the future, you may even feel that emotional physical connection may disturb the amazing peaceful energy/soul connections.