Why does he think I need his love?

[Raziel]

Originally Posted by A human Being

A lot of truth to this, sadly. I don't think we do generally give much thought to what it's like to be a member of the opposite sex, to the different challenges and experiences we face; a while back I got to thinking about what it must be like to be a woman, to be pursued by people who are testosterone-fuelled and generally physically bigger and stronger than you, and it made me realise how intimidating that must feel sometimes - and more so if you're prone to anxiety, as the OP is (I've experienced fairly severe anxiety in the past and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, it's a truly awful, desperate feeling). I've got so much admiration for women, that you cope as well you do in this world.

To the OP, maybe express your feelings to this guy, that his attentions are making you feel more anxious, not less, and that if he really does care about you he'll back off and give you space. If he persists it might be necessary to get the police involved, because you shouldn't have to put up with this.

It's been said elsewhere that not all women are delicate little flowers & not all men are testosterone fuelled meat heads.

Communication is going to be the key here - which going just by what the OP has posted - we have no idea what has or has not been said to this guy so far.

To the OP - despite people choosing to frame my ideas as negative - I promise you that I am not. If your in fear then tell someone in a position to stop it.

If this guy is more of an annoyance & icky then let him down easy.

I don't want you adding to your own anxiety stressing about this guy if hes harmless. Some people are romantics & others prefer straight shooting - each to their own.

There are two sides - everyone can agree on that surely - as we can all agree that threat of violence is awful.

We have no evidence of that here - just that hes alittle yuky to the OP.

Originally Posted by Raziel

All of that is valid enough, but without further information we don't know if certain words are being used because of the OP's age or culture.

We have one side of a story.

We don't know how he has her number, or how often they interact.

I cannot believe the armchair psychology, criminology & presumption within the thread.

If you CANNOT read 'anxiety' in the opening post, perhaps you should give up commenting on this kind of topic. Stick to religions or something. One doesn't expect outright empathy but the FACT of ParanoidHippie's post takes only a modicum of understanding. You don't need a Philadelphia lawyer to point that out, surely? But then, you're an Aries male - they tend to fire off at anything and usually miss.

As for the armchair this-and-that - fatuous; facile. Almost everyone here is an armchair whatever etc. Are you envious? Most people here simply opine. That's what it's about. It's up to a poster to weigh up the discussion. So....what have you added to it? Flippancy and triviality. That's something one supposes.

A person outwardly naming themselves paranoid hippie is surely introducing that to the table.

And the history of your name and name change here?

Have you people never listened to lyrics of songs? Love conquers all, I would do anything for love, I can't help falling in love with you - all tonally might be said by a mental case but will have also been first dances to weddings.

What ARE you talking about?

Also when did we decide feed someone suffering from anxiety instead of offering more positive alternatives & takes on situations? Hippie makes no mention of telling this guy shes not interested & continues to jump forward.

It might help if you read others' replies to the O/P. There isn't a lot of comprehension involved.

Originally Posted by Raziel

Communication is going to be the key here -

Yup, send da boyz round to this guy. That's all the communication it needs."Warnings" tend to have the desired effect.

[Raziel]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

If you CANNOT read 'anxiety' in the opening post, perhaps you should give up commenting on this kind of topic. Stick to religions or something. One doesn't expect outright empathy but the FACT of ParanoidHippie's post takes only a modicum of understanding. You don't need a Philadelphia lawyer to point that out, surely? But then, you're an Aries male - they tend to fire off at anything and usually miss. Wouldn't touch with a bargepole comes to mind.

As for the armchair this-and-that - fatuous; facile. Almost everyone here is an armchair whatever etc. Are you envious? Most people here simply opine. That's what it's about. It's up to a poster to weigh up the discussion. So....what have you added to it? Flippancy and trivialising.

And the history of your name and name change here?

What ARE you talking about? I'm more into impressionist, atonal music but...each to their own.
It might help if you read others' replies to the O/P.

I don't fear having an alternate take on something
I changed my name once, its out there in the open & represents an aspect of me.

Many posters project themselves into what is being said - often from extremely "out there" points of view but someone tries to look at a situation from another angle and all of a sudden they are being unreasonable.

Make any claims or justification you wish as to your opinion & posting that's your right but your presuming that I as a poster have no life experience on the subject - it doesn't all have to be talk of "heart centre" or "equanimity" to come from a genuine place.

The mis representation of Ares is not lost on me either - my mother has successfully done other peoples charts regularly for years & has always been a big part of that community.

I mentioned her anxiety multiple times - but hey your proving some kind of point so let's forget that.

Again an air of authority that cannot accept alternative viewpoints - what a surprise.

I don't fear your opinion so please don't fear mine.

[Raziel]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Yup, send da boyz round to this guy. That's all the communication it needs."Warnings" tend to have the desired effect.

Your projecting perhaps?

I was not so subtlety accused of having no emotion, too much emotion is just as unreasonable especially absent of facts only feelings.

Did the OP reveal any communication made towards this fellow?

A good, sensible place to start surely?

In my last job I had to scan through contracts & agreements to see who was liable for cost - I read & read again as habit.

I go by what is written & the context provided.

On a side note I actually checked out her other postings in other threads & the general theme.

My guess by going over them is that she's really pretty but not into guys.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by Raziel

It's been said elsewhere that not all women are delicate little flowers & not all men are testosterone fuelled meat heads.

No, of course not, and most women are made of sterner stuff. I'm thinking more in the context of unwanted advances - for a guy of course that can be bothersome, but generally he's probably not going to feel too threatened by it. Whereas for women I imagine it can be more of an issue, because men tend to be more aggressive (male-on-female violence is much more common than is the reverse, as Lorelyen said in an earlier post).

[Raziel]

Originally Posted by A human Being

No, of course not, and most women are made of sterner stuff. I'm thinking more in the context of unwanted advances - for a guy of course that can be bothersome, but generally he's probably not going to feel too threatened by it. Whereas for women I imagine it can be more of an issue, because men tend to be more aggressive (male-on-female violence is much more common than is the reverse, as Lorelyen said in an earlier post).

You seem to have further insight into the OP than I do - from within the original post there is more annoyance conveyed than feelings of threat (backed up by posts on other threads).

I have said repeatedly that threats are a different level altogether.

If you know for certain that the OP is scared not merely annoyed please add more context.

[ParanoidHippie]

I’ve already told him a million times I’m not interested.

[Raziel]

Originally Posted by ParanoidHippie

I’ve already told him a million times I’m not interested.

Are you afraid of him or annoyed that he seems to not acknowledge you being gay?

Is he from work or college?

If so you can complain to someone there, obviously there is always the police?

Male friends or female can ask him to back off...?

Does he follow you - how does he have your number?

I have a younger sister, female cousins & lots of female friends whom I would ask the exact same questions of.

[angelic star]

If attention is unwanted then it makes sense about anxiety or frustration. You probably need some protection and also support. Make it known, talk about it. And refuse to talk or entertain this person from your side, talk to authorities about it, or seek help from family/ friends to move away from this.