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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Non Duality

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  #11  
Old 03-04-2018, 06:01 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bhavani
Hi, I am posting in the ND forum as that is where my beliefs lie.
I have kind of had it with liking everyone.
There is a certain notion that spiritual types should deeply love everyone.
Isnt is possible to know that we are a love manifestation, whilst also not liking people?
Of course there is the idea of projection. That what I dislike in another is what needs to be healed in oneself.
And of course to give time to healing a self, only furthers the ignorance.
I like most people. I easily tolerate just about everyone. But I do dislike someone.
I am now moving from: "overcome your dislike, they are another one having a human experience", to...."nah, i dont know why, but I really dislike the that person even though they appear to be harmless, and i will now accept my dislike". It feels better (more correct) to just give up trying to like them when I dont.
Any thoughts?
Obviously I am not at full realization, but appreciate the perspective of you non dualists on this.
TA :)
To be a total non-dualist means you neither like nor dislike others...you are totally ambivalent towards other people and if you even want to 'go there' in saying they just don't exist or are totally irrelevant/unimportant to your spiritual growth, you can also get to do this, because anybody else who would have a problem with it, or with you isn't your concern anyway.

I have learned that others have way too many unrealistic emotional expectations of me as a member of their species to be able to feel anything for them whatsoever on any level and the less I feel, the more they feel I should, leading to me feeling even less than I did before, until in the end, I can feel nothing...absolutely nothing! If other people want me to be able to feel something for them, they would accept me for who/what I am and not who/what they want me to be in their own minds...however, because human beings are totally incapable of doing this, I'm also totally incapable of feeling like/love/dislike/hate or anything at all....which is a bonus for an advaitin.
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  #12  
Old 03-04-2018, 06:39 AM
Eelco
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by innerlight
If a person behaves as a jerk, as you say, is it the person you dislike or their behavior?

First their behavior, when they consistently behave like Jerks..
At some point I will come to dislike them. I doubt it says much about them and more about me and that's ok.

With Love
Eelco
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  #13  
Old 03-04-2018, 09:57 AM
Bhavani Bhavani is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 26
 
Yes! Love your words, and thank you for your contribution. No need to voice it, just feel it quietly.
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  #14  
Old 03-04-2018, 01:08 PM
Nature Grows Nature Grows is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eelco
First their behavior, when they consistently behave like Jerks..
At some point I will come to dislike them. I doubt it says much about them and more about me and that's ok.

With Love
Eelco

Yes, honesty is good, if you don't like something you don't like it, when it comes to people sometimes something i do is be like well, they don't know what they are doing, they know what they are doing but in the bigger picture they don't you know? when Jesus was being killed on the cross he even said "God forgive them for they know not what they do" and i think that was very impressive and honourable of him to say in that situation.
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  #15  
Old 03-04-2018, 03:06 PM
Moondance Moondance is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bhavani
Hi, I am posting in the ND forum as that is where my beliefs lie.
I have kind of had it with liking everyone.
There is a certain notion that spiritual types should deeply love everyone.
Isnt is possible to know that we are a love manifestation, whilst also not liking people?
Of course there is the idea of projection. That what I dislike in another is what needs to be healed in oneself.
And of course to give time to healing a self, only furthers the ignorance.
I like most people. I easily tolerate just about everyone. But I do dislike someone.
I am now moving from: "overcome your dislike, they are another one having a human experience", to...."nah, i dont know why, but I really dislike the that person even though they appear to be harmless, and i will now accept my dislike". It feels better (more correct) to just give up trying to like them when I dont.
Any thoughts?
Obviously I am not at full realization, but appreciate the perspective of you non dualists on this.
TA :)

Hello Bhavani

Yes, "spiritual types should love everyone" is simply a notion. Not liking certain people is in some respects no different to not liking certain foods, environments, music, art, entertainment and so on.

Every human organism, without fail, will experience some degree of disfavour/aversion and desire/inclination until the day it dies. The difference with a nondual sensibility is that this aversion/desire is seen for what it is - a natural functioning of the whole - an impersonal phenomenon like gravity or indigestion. And in this seeing it tends to pass through with more ease.
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  #16  
Old 03-04-2018, 03:14 PM
OEN34 OEN34 is offline
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There are a few people I don't 'like', but there is something deeper within that genuinely has love for them, and it's finding that, IMO. Disliking someone is fine IMO - there is a big difference between disliking someone and wishing bad things upon them, which ultimately, is a reflection that inner work needs to be done to get to the root cause of why we think those thoughts.
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  #17  
Old 03-04-2018, 07:17 PM
linen53 linen53 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 14,332
 
I've always dislike labels and categories and labels (i.e. non duality).

I stopped "shoulding" on myself. If I feel an emotion I go with it and don't feel guilt. That was not always the case. I used to try to be what I was taught I should do (somebody else's rules).
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  #18  
Old 03-04-2018, 08:29 PM
Badcopyinc
Posts: n/a
 
If i find myself disliking anyone i ask myself why I'm letting another affect my peace. The issue and solution always comes from me.

I don't seek to befriend everyone. But i get closer and closer to being at peace with "negative" people and situations with age.
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  #19  
Old 04-04-2018, 10:41 AM
Neenu Neenu is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 198
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bhavani
Hi, I am posting in the ND forum as that is where my beliefs lie.
I have kind of had it with liking everyone.
There is a certain notion that spiritual types should deeply love everyone.
Isnt is possible to know that we are a love manifestation, whilst also not liking people?
Of course there is the idea of projection. That what I dislike in another is what needs to be healed in oneself.
And of course to give time to healing a self, only furthers the ignorance.
I like most people. I easily tolerate just about everyone. But I do dislike someone.
I am now moving from: "overcome your dislike, they are another one having a human experience", to...."nah, i dont know why, but I really dislike the that person even though they appear to be harmless, and i will now accept my dislike". It feels better (more correct) to just give up trying to like them when I dont.
Any thoughts?
Obviously I am not at full realization, but appreciate the perspective of you non dualists on this.
TA :)

Hey Bhavani,

Spirituality is not a hiding place, and cloaking everything in 'love' is just a way of not confronting the true feelings that lie below. Loving everyone is just a way of hiding from your own emotions.

There are several wrathful deities in Buddhism, like Dorje Drollo or Yamantaka. Not everything is always about peace and love, but also about transforming negative to positive. Like tough parenting, it comes from love but can be hard for the child.

We all have the ultimate true Buddha nature in our selves. The true buddha nature is just clouded by our own dualistic mind and loads of karma.

Pain and existential discomfort is one of the best motivators for development spiritually. With spiritually I mean clearing karma and developing clarity of mind and a diminishing sense of self. Not new-agey things, although they might come as a by product as the mind gets clearer and clearer.

As the self diminishes (the sense of me, I, myself), you also have less emotions /dislikes towards people or things. One starts slowly to realize that the stuff happening around is not aimed at you, it is just stuff that happens. There is no you to whom the stuff happens, and so it looses its grip (emotion) on you.
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—Albert Einstein
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  #20  
Old 05-04-2018, 07:22 PM
Bhavani Bhavani is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 26
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moondance
Hello Bhavani

The difference with a nondual sensibility is that this aversion/desire is seen for what it is - a natural functioning of the whole - an impersonal phenomenon like gravity or indigestion. And in this seeing it tends to pass through with more ease.

Oooh that's a helpful frame on it. As impersonal as (in)digestion. No harm in using metaphor and concepts to help it sink in. Thank you.
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