When the runner stops running and parks in limbo...

[wonderingheart]

So my story is the same as everyone else's. Runner is in and out on the regular. Well, what do you do when they stop but they just sort of sit there, I guess sort of in this weird limbo? I saw him a few weeks ago and ever since he's more or less indifferent. He's all but told me I'm not allowed in his head, yet he lets little bits out here and there. He cut contact last year for about 6 months and he did tell me it was basically torture. He's not running anymore but he's also not cultivating anything. He's just sort of - there!

I know many chasers who would love their runner to be there but it's still painful and confusing! At this point, do I do the running thing myself (which I'm fighting) because his deliberate indifference is painful? He's let enough come out to me that I know he feels a lot, but I guess this is so new to me that I just don't know at this point how to handle it. I tell myself maybe he's just surrendering and tired of fighting, but not really wanting to move.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Has anyone been here before?

[selene]

I totally understand this feeling of wanting to run in case you get hurt again. And I totally understand that you are afraid to reach out because he cut you off in the past.

This is the type of thing that I suggest only you know how to handle. I've been there -I am there in a way... Meditate on this is my advice. Ask for guidance. And keep him and you in mind.