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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Meditation

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  #1  
Old 28-09-2015, 11:27 PM
(im)perfectdream1794 (im)perfectdream1794 is offline
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Letting Go.

Hello, I'm new on here but I would like to make a post on letting go. To keep it short, I have a horrible track record. I have been trying to get into meditation and become more spiritual, I have gotten a lot better at meditating and getting to a state of peace, but I think my biggest barrier right now is that I cannot let go of my shameful past. I have tried meditating on it and tried to just know that my past isn't my present, and when I think I'm making notable progress, something happens to remind me of the past and just like that my confidence is shattered, I start self-loathing again. It's like I'm taking one step forward and two steps back. Any advice would be greatly appreciate!

Thank you for reading.
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  #2  
Old 29-09-2015, 01:00 AM
starling starling is offline
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I don't believe is anything you have done is any thing like as terrible as you think it is.

I too ahve problems with stuff I've done coming back to haunt me. It does have a name in psychological terms or circles; its known as rumination. I think its closely associated with depression.

What ever you have done I strongly suggest you now just put it down to experience. It's what you do now that's important(edit you say you are making good progress).

You do take stuff into account as you get older. Like if someone does some thing you don't like I tend to say well that helps to balance for some of the silly I've done in the past.

Meditation; one bit of advice I found was good is to let thoughts come and go.....don't feel you have to avoid certain thoughts. The other regime is (if you have a bad memory ( is to "STOP!" to yourself or "comeback". My cousin made the point also that these memories are at worst annoying and irritating, its what you are doing in the present that matters.

Don't forget, we all make mistakes.





.....................................
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  #3  
Old 29-09-2015, 07:58 AM
vespa68 vespa68 is offline
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Exactly. I agree with David. Your thoughts are there for a reason, so just let them be there. I know sometimes you think you have made progress and you are back where you started but that is how healing is. Its a spiral and not a straight line. It is a spiraling ladder and you are just dealing with things on another layer. The "let go" concept can be decieving. You should never try to let go until you are ready. I do the opposite of "let go" and just "let be".
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  #4  
Old 29-09-2015, 05:27 PM
A human Being A human Being is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vespa68
You should never try to let go until you are ready. I do the opposite of "let go" and just "let be".
Beautifully put

The past lives on in most all of us, and it does so because we shut down to the present in the moment, and then the present got stuck in us and became the past. So "let be" is excellent advice, imo - just be present with the past when it arises, don't shut down to it or you only perpetuate the cycle.

So when repressed thoughts, feelings, mental images arise in your consciousness, you're actually halfway to resolving the underlying issues, imo; the other half of the journey is simply, as vespa says, to 'let be.' If you feel yourself resisting, denying, contracting, or in any other way attempting to control your experience...

...just relax, that's all
__________________
What is your experience right now, in this moment?
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  #5  
Old 29-09-2015, 06:42 PM
starling starling is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A human Being
Beautifully put

The past lives on in most all of us, and it does so because we shut down to the present in the moment, and then the present got stuck in us and became the past. So "let be" is excellent advice, imo - just be present with the past when it arises, don't shut down to it or you only perpetuate the cycle.

So when repressed thoughts, feelings, mental images arise in your consciousness, you're actually halfway to resolving the underlying issues, imo; the other half of the journey is simply, as vespa says, to 'let be.' If you feel yourself resisting, denying, contracting, or in any other way attempting to control your experience...

...just relax, that's all



That's certainly my experience.
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  #6  
Old 29-09-2015, 09:04 PM
PassionOfHybrid PassionOfHybrid is offline
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I think that it's a great accomplishment that you've made a change.

You're becoming a different person...you're not that person you were in the past. You're in the beginning of become someone better, new. The regret is there to keep you from doing those things again. It serves a purpose.

It's just a process you're going through, and luckily you stopped before the guilt became too much to shoulder. Better now, then later.
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  #7  
Old 29-09-2015, 10:52 PM
(im)perfectdream1794 (im)perfectdream1794 is offline
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Thank you all for replying, all the advice and positive words are very comforting, I will be doing some research on rumination, David, I like that there's a name for it. I wish I could say my transgressions aren't that terrible but to me and the people I have hurt they really are. I find it interesting that you all have different views on how to deal with my regrets, than someone who I have been taking advice from. I have been told to just put the thoughts into a 'spam' folder and that I can't change until I have let these things go. I have been honest with the people I need to and gotten it all off my chest so I thought I was ready to let it go, but maybe I do need to just let it be, and it will resolve itself. And the part about regrets being there to prevent the same mistakes makes a lot of sense. It's just unfortunate that we must be reminded in order to prevent a recurrence. Thank you all for your wisdom, I just have another question, how does one know when they are finally ready to let it go?
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  #8  
Old 29-09-2015, 11:16 PM
PassionOfHybrid PassionOfHybrid is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by (im)perfectdream1794
Thank you all for replying, all the advice and positive words are very comforting, I will be doing some research on rumination, David, I like that there's a name for it. I wish I could say my transgressions aren't that terrible but to me and the people I have hurt they really are. I find it interesting that you all have different views on how to deal with my regrets, than someone who I have been taking advice from. I have been told to just put the thoughts into a 'spam' folder and that I can't change until I have let these things go. I have been honest with the people I need to and gotten it all off my chest so I thought I was ready to let it go, but maybe I do need to just let it be, and it will resolve itself. And the part about regrets being there to prevent the same mistakes makes a lot of sense. It's just unfortunate that we must be reminded in order to prevent a recurrence. Thank you all for your wisdom, I just have another question, how does one know when they are finally ready to let it go?

You'll know when to let go...when you get over it.
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  #9  
Old 30-09-2015, 06:05 AM
astralsuzy astralsuzy is offline
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Talking about things is a good idea to get it out of your system. There is a time that you have to let it go. You can talk about it but if you are talking about the same old thing and it is going round in a circle not doing any good it is time to let it go. The more you talk about it and the more you think about it the harder it is to let it go. I also have the same problem. I remind myself during the day to think good thoughts. If something bad enters my mind, I say to myself I only think good thoughts. I push it out of my mind straight away. I am feeling a lot better but I have to keep it up otherwise I go back to my old ways. It is a long process and it can take a long time to do. I find it is habit and habits can be hard to break. I once knew someone who went to a psychologist and talked about her problems. She no longer goes to the psychologist but she still talks about her problems. She went to see a psychologist for 10 years. Some people never get over it. They have a choice of moving on or letting it destroy their lives. I know it can be difficult in moving forward as some people have terrible things happen to them. They can talk about it all throughout their lives and they are miserable. Other people move forward. They leave the past behind and they have a decent life.
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  #10  
Old 30-09-2015, 08:03 AM
starling starling is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by astralsuzy
Talking about things is a good idea to get it out of your system. There is a time that you have to let it go. You can talk about it but if you are talking about the same old thing and it is going round in a circle not doing any good it is time to let it go. The more you talk about it and the more you think about it the harder it is to let it go. I also have the same problem. I remind myself during the day to think good thoughts. If something bad enters my mind, I say to myself I only think good thoughts. I push it out of my mind straight away. I am feeling a lot better but I have to keep it up otherwise I go back to my old ways. It is a long process and it can take a long time to do. I find it is habit and habits can be hard to break. I once knew someone who went to a psychologist and talked about her problems. She no longer goes to the psychologist but she still talks about her problems. She went to see a psychologist for 10 years. Some people never get over it. They have a choice of moving on or letting it destroy their lives. I know it can be difficult in moving forward as some people have terrible things happen to them. They can talk about it all throughout their lives and they are miserable. Other people move forward. They leave the past behind and they have a decent life.



No, it's not quite as straight forwards as that.

I think the OP'er has made the first steps and is doing well now, that's the important part.





...................................
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