As The High Holy Days Approach

[RabbiO]

Sometimes wisdom comes from an unexpected source - like a coffee cup. I saw this on a cup: "The purpose of life is not to find yourself, it is to create yourself.

We are in the midst of the Hebrew month of Elul. The month before the month of Tishri which ushers in Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur and Sukkot. Elul is a month of prayer, reflection, penitence and introspection. I am especially mindful of falling short of the mark, that I am an imperfect person living in a beautiful,but also imperfect world.

As a Jew I am mindful that I am responsible for working on "tikkun ha-nefesh",the repair of the soul and for working as a partner with G-d in "tikkun olam", the repair of the world. These are not mutually exclusive goals for work on one ripples through the other. I am mindful that I am a link in a chain that enables "ahm yisrael" the people Israel to strive to be a "goy kadosh" a holy nation.

As a rabbi I am mindful that I am engaged in what might be called an "avodat kodesh" a sacred endeavor and that I have a role to play in "tikkun ha-neshamot" the repair of souls. It is my duty to teach and to guide, to help others to find their paths to spiritual wholeness through the tools provided by the traditions that form the bedrock of Jewish living.

As a Jew I am required to be in this world and of this world because the repair of this world cannot be accomplished by outsiders. I am not required to do this alone. I am not expected to complete the task. Though the task may not be accomplished during my time, I am not free to walk away from that obligation. The hour is late, the workers are tired, the task is hard, and the Master is insistent.

As a Jew I am required to speak out on behalf of those who cannot speak for themselves. I am required to speaks words of love, hope and joy, words of justice and healing, words of solace and comforting. I am required to stand against oppression and bigotry and evil in whatever shape it manifests itself.

As a rabbi I have a responsibility to help others meet the challenges of life and the world we live in from a Jewish perspective. That is not the same thing, however, as telling people what they should think or how they should vote.

Jewish tradition teaches that Yom Kippur brings forgiveness for the wrongs we have committed against G-d, but there is no forgiveness for the sins we have committed against others unless and until we strive to make amends and seek the forgiveness of others.

In that spirit, to the extent I have dealt wrongly with others on the forum, to the extent I have been lax in my obligations to others on the forum, less supportive or less responsive than I should have been, I ask your forgiveness.

B'shalom,

Peter

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by RabbiO

Sometimes wisdom comes from an unexpected source - like a coffee cup. I saw this on a cup: "The purpose of life is not to find yourself, it is to create yourself.

We are in the midst of the Hebrew month of Elul. The month before the month of Tishri which ushers in Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur and Sukkot. Elul is a month of prayer, reflection, penitence and introspection. I am especially mindful of falling short of the mark, that I am an imperfect person living in a beautiful,but also imperfect world.

As a Jew I am mindful that I am responsible for working on "tikkun ha-nefesh",the repair of the soul and for working as a partner with G-d in "tikkun olam", the repair of the world. These are not mutually exclusive goals for work on one ripples through the other. I am mindful that I am a link in a chain that enables "ahm yisrael" the people Israel to strive to be a "goy kadosh" a holy nation.

As a rabbi I am mindful that I am engaged in what might be called an "avodat kodesh" a sacred endeavor and that I have a role to play in "tikkun ha-neshamot" the repair of souls. It is my duty to teach and to guide, to help others to find their paths to spiritual wholeness through the tools provided by the traditions that form the bedrock of Jewish living.

As a Jew I am required to be in this world and of this world because the repair of this world cannot be accomplished by outsiders. I am not required to do this alone. I am not expected to complete the task. Though the task may not be accomplished during my time, I am not free to walk away from that obligation. The hour is late, the workers are tired, the task is hard, and the Master is insistent.

As a Jew I am required to speak out on behalf of those who cannot speak for themselves. I am required to speaks words of love, hope and joy, words of justice and healing, words of solace and comforting. I am required to stand against oppression and bigotry and evil in whatever shape it manifests itself.

As a rabbi I have a responsibility to help others meet the challenges of life and the world we live in from a Jewish perspective. That is not the same thing, however, as telling people what they should think or how they should vote.

Jewish tradition teaches that Yom Kippur brings forgiveness for the wrongs we have committed against G-d, but there is no forgiveness for the sins we have committed against others unless and until we strive to make amends and seek the forgiveness of others.

In that spirit, to the extent I have dealt wrongly with others on the forum, to the extent I have been lax in my obligations to others on the forum, less supportive or less responsive than I should have been, I ask your forgiveness.

B'shalom,

Peter

What a beautiful post and a timely reminder. The repair of the soul (tikkun ha-nefesh) and working with God in the repair of the world (tikkun olam)...a beautiful and truly sacred duty. One that we must all engage in by virtue of our shared humanity, regardless of the fact that we will fall short. And regardless of the fact that we will not complete it in any eternal or final sense

Jewish tradition teaches that Yom Kippur brings forgiveness for the wrongs we have committed against G-d, but there is no forgiveness for the sins we have committed against others unless and until we strive to make amends and seek the forgiveness of others.

The intention of reaching out and engaging in sincere concern, remorse, and/or apology is such a beautiful thing. It doesn't reach everyone but at least we have put aside pride and embraced humility.

BTW Rabbi, what happens when you have reached out, perhaps repeatedly, for years, let's even say a lifetime or more (LOL), and you are never accepted or embraced for your efforts. Clearly, there has been no resolution but yet you may have humanly done all you can. And let's say there was no clear wrongdoing so much as some disagreement, lack of resonance or perhaps even something far beyond your control. I think that is actually not so uncommon.

Do we just accept this as a limitation or failure in some way, in part because we certainly can't force acceptance of ourselves upon others? Sometimes it may be because we were an unwanted child..or because we somehow let our partners down by asking for an authentic level of engagement, or whatever it may be...or just generally being imperfect and human, and having needs. But in their eyes, these can be in a sense unforgiveable..nonnegotiable..even if unspoken. And to some degree, we are limited by the essence of who we are that is not accepted or acceptable...I cannot be a different person who might better please another -- I can only strive to be the best version of who I actually am. And it may be just this fact (that I cannot be anything but who I am) which someone else might find offensive and at some level unforgiveable.

I'd assumed you might continue to try as you could...and never give up hope...whilst perhaps giving up ALL realistic expectation for acceptance, reconciliation, etc. Just curious as to the law's perspective on this..along with your own.
L'shalom,
7L

Shana Tova RabbiO, 7L and everyone else who considers the new year to be approaching.

It is better to be the tail of a lion than the head of a fox. Come to Israel, the land of the lion.

7L: Regarding Repentence and Forgiveness, I don't remember where I saw it or the exact quote but it's written that if you are truly sorry and apologize to the extent that you can and your fellow doesn't forgive you then the fault and the sin is on him. I always understood that energetically. Repentance and Forgiveness are both energy (and emotional) releases. By repenting you are letting go of the sin/situation and clearing yourself of the negative energy. By not forgiving you, he is still holding on to that energy. Since you've released your half, the other person will then be holding the entire sin themselves until they choose to forgive.

[RabbiO]

Originally Posted by Yamah

Regarding Repentence and Forgiveness, I don't remember where I saw it or the exact quote but it's written that if you are truly sorry and apologize to the extent that you can and your fellow doesn't forgive you then the fault and the sin is on him. I always understood that energetically. Repentance and Forgiveness are both energy (and emotional) releases. By repenting you are letting go of the sin/situation and clearing yourself of the negative energy. By not forgiving you, he is still holding on to that energy. Since you've released your half, the other person will then be holding the entire sin themselves until they choose to forgive.

Yamah,

This quote from the Rambam is but one of many in our tradition regarding going to another seeking forgiveness, and going again and again if forgiveness is not given -


"Repentance and Yom Kippur only atone for sins between Man and G-d...

Sins between one man and his fellow.... are never forgiven until one appeases his fellow... If his fellow refuses to forgive him then he must bring a group of three of his friends and go to him and ask him. If he still does not forgive him he must go to him a second and third time . If he still refuses to forgive him he may cease and the other is the sinner.... It is forbidden to be cruel and difficult to appease, rather, a person must be quick to forgive and difficult to anger and when the sinner asks for forgiveness he should forgive him willingly and wholeheartedly.... "

As to your second comment, Rabbi Lawrence Kushner has written, in regard to grudges -

"In bearing a grudge, we have transformed the hurt from something we once received into something we now carry or guard. Almost as if, in our inability to repay the pain we felt, we tenaciously carry this little vial of grudge-toxin....

In this way, each grudge takes on a life of its own. Like a parasite... it feeds on our vitality... It requires more and more psychic energy. It burrows deep into our personality, sapping our joy and happiness..."

May you and yours know only sweetness in the coming year.

Peter

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Yamah

Shana Tova RabbiO, 7L and everyone else who considers the new year to be approaching.

It is better to be the tail of a lion than the head of a fox. Come to Israel, the land of the lion.

7L: Regarding Repentence and Forgiveness, I don't remember where I saw it or the exact quote but it's written that if you are truly sorry and apologize to the extent that you can and your fellow doesn't forgive you then the fault and the sin is on him. I always understood that energetically. Repentance and Forgiveness are both energy (and emotional) releases. By repenting you are letting go of the sin/situation and clearing yourself of the negative energy. By not forgiving you, he is still holding on to that energy. Since you've released your half, the other person will then be holding the entire sin themselves until they choose to forgive.

Land of the lionhearted, I'd say. Even better.
Thank you, Yamah. I agree completely and much obliged.
Shana tova!
7L

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by RabbiO

Yamah,

This quote from the Rambam is but one of many in our tradition regarding going to another seeking forgiveness, and going again and again if forgiveness is not given -


"Repentance and Yom Kippur only atone for sins between Man and G-d...

Sins between one man and his fellow.... are never forgiven until one appeases his fellow... If his fellow refuses to forgive him then he must bring a group of three of his friends and go to him and ask him. If he still does not forgive him he must go to him a second and third time . If he still refuses to forgive him he may cease and the other is the sinner.... It is forbidden to be cruel and difficult to appease, rather, a person must be quick to forgive and difficult to anger and when the sinner asks for forgiveness he should forgive him willingly and wholeheartedly.... "

As to your second comment, Rabbi Lawrence Kushner has written, in regard to grudges -

"In bearing a grudge, we have transformed the hurt from something we once received into something we now carry or guard. Almost as if, in our inability to repay the pain we felt, we tenaciously carry this little vial of grudge-toxin....

In this way, each grudge takes on a life of its own. Like a parasite... it feeds on our vitality... It requires more and more psychic energy. It burrows deep into our personality, sapping our joy and happiness..."

May you and yours know only sweetness in the coming year.

Peter

Rabbi Pete, thank you so much for this...that's what I recalled as well from Maimonides.

By extension, it also points to the importance of letting go and forgiving repeatedly, even if your forgiveness is repeatedly not sought when it should be .
That's somehow equally satisfying...that doing the right thing is the right thing to do.

Shana Tova!
7L

[RabbiO]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

Shana Tova!
7L

שנה טובה ומתוקה

I wish for you, for Yamah, for all that not only our merits, but our joys as well in the coming year increase like the seeds of a pomagranite.

May the new year bring healing, gladness, wholeness and peace.

Peter

[jalini]

Thank you all. This thread gives much peace and inspiration
jalini