Why are you involved in spiritually?

[Dargor]

The thing is, I care little about spirituality and stuff like that. It's just that I am aware that there is more out there than we know.

[hallow]

Originally Posted by SlayerOfLight

The thing is, I care little about spirituality and stuff like that. It's just that I am aware that there is more out there than we know.

hi Slayer! It's been awhile! How you doing!

[Dargor]

Originally Posted by hallow

hi Slayer! It's been awhile! How you doing!

Hey dude, can't exactly say I'm doing fine but thanks anyway. I Hope you're doing fine too.

Originally Posted by hallow

How do you know what you should become? Or is it what you want to become?

I'm not entirely sure what I should be. I've been guided along the way in various ways, have found myself up a few blind alleys; various practices such as sorcery from which I learned it was inappropriate... so it's a matter of shedding delusion and illusion - a gradual process of purification and refinement towards Self that brings clarity. I can't describe the sensation/experience but some symptoms are:

I don't lie to myself
I've lost interest in fiction (writing and film)
I'm happier with sincerity (such as I recognise it)
I seem to be mostly at peace in myself, unstressed (which doesn't mean I don't like a challenge, something to pace myself occasionally).
My emotions are in balance with such intellect as I have (at least, that's the aim)
Balancing a withdrawal from social conditioning with the practicalities of living.
Increasingly assured of my gnostic state of being
I own my problems and emotions
I no longer ask what reality is because it doesn't matter.
Non materialistic.
Unafraid to learn and adapt.

Anyway it's about flowing through this life refining these and anything else that emerges to promote independence from the mundane, while still paying lip service to conventions because people are people and have expectations. Most are less awake. About driving my own life, discarding the unnecessary, reaching out to people. And of course preparing for my eventual return to the world(s) of spirit when my time on Earth is up.

Because everyone's beliefs as sacred I'm probably out of place here now. However I do owe the people here for a few significant milestones hence staying on a while.

But almost impossible to say what the target is. Words are useless for this. I hope I'll recognise when I'm there.

♥

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by hallow

There's many reasons why people gravitate towards spiritually, as a way to cope, self elentment, or just a way to feel good about the choices they have made ect... What's your reason? What are your spiritual goals and why? I know them are some tough questions to be completely honest to because of fear of being"judged" but really think about it and post what you feel.lets open a deep non judgemental topic.

The initial reason was the realization I was screwed up in the head with fears and conditioned baggage. I wasn't afraid of a few things, I was afraid of everything. The turning point in my early twenties was opening my reality through a myriad of self empowerment/spiritual books as well as setting out on a conscious healing path for the next twenty five years, through many paths/healing modalities, that I can now use for my own work. I wanted to heal myself from being consumed by fears as deep as I could go, I always knew I would reach a point of ending my war on fear and terror, so I kept on seeking, kept on delving deeper to open up everything in myself contained. For me it was never something I did in half measures, I walked through it all. When I became aware, letting go of emotional baggage and retraining my mind to believe in myself differently, I also became aware of how I felt differently, so that spurred me on to keep on going and delve deeper. Once I gained an awareness of fear at the core in myself, had let go of its hold both through the layers and at the core, I then discovered how the new me could be and experience herself. Now I am content I have found myself beyond my fearful conditioned child/adult I became. I remember in my spiritual awakening and dark night of the soul, in my early forties, realizing the seeking becomes very simple in the end. I just wanted to be myself. So the self seeking a self that wanted to feel itself found itself.

Most often I find myself now enjoying being myself, sharing and creating more freely aware I feel at home in myself. The experiences and exploration is now to take care and enjoy myself as myself.

Home is where I now feel, more fully aligned to my whole self without fear or conditioned factors taking over. I had to learn to love all of myself. Being so deeply embedded in fear and learning to overcome it through many streams of myself, takes you deep into yourself in everyway possible to overcome them. The whole body becomes a playground of fear so unravelling it aware, it rears itself in subtle and sometimes hidden ways, takes a conscious practice and self reflection.

So for me the spiritual journey was about finding myself, coming face to face to myself and then feeling content and happy with what I have found.

In being more free now to be myself, I don't seek out things as a spiritual practice or separation to my whole life. I see it as life and something I can tap into more freely as a tool to support myself or others as each day happens. Because I am aware of myself more clear, it has opened my eyes to the world more clear, I still undergo shifts and openings, but they are part of my life now. I don't have to seek them out as I once did. I just move and be where I want to be. Follow my heart and listen to life and what my heart wants to be doing and sharing as I feel and can be..

[hallow]

Originally Posted by naturesflow

The initial reason was the realization I was screwed up in the head with fears and conditioned baggage. I wasn't afraid of a few things, I was afraid of everything. The turning point in my early twenties was opening my reality through a myriad of self empowerment/spiritual books as well as setting out on a conscious healing path for the next twenty five years, through many paths/healing modalities, that I can now use for my own work. I wanted to heal myself from being consumed by fears as deep as I could go, I always knew I would reach a point of ending my war on fear and terror, so I kept on seeking, kept on delving deeper to open up everything in myself contained. For me it was never something I did in half measures, I walked through it all. When I became aware, letting go of emotional baggage and retraining my mind to believe in myself differently, I also became aware of how I felt differently, so that spurred me on to keep on going and delve deeper. Once I gained an awareness of fear at the core in myself, had let go of its hold both through the layers and at the core, I then discovered how the new me could be and experience herself. Now I am content I have found myself beyond my fearful conditioned child/adult I became. I remember in my spiritual awakening and dark night of the soul, in my early forties, realizing the seeking becomes very simple in the end. I just wanted to be myself. So the self seeking a self that wanted to feel itself found itself.

Most often I find myself now enjoying being myself, sharing and creating more freely aware I feel at home in myself. The experiences and exploration is now to take care and enjoy myself as myself.

Home is where I now feel, more fully aligned to my whole self without fear or conditioned factors taking over. I had to learn to love all of myself. Being so deeply embedded in fear and learning to overcome it through many streams of myself, takes you deep into yourself in everyway possible to overcome them. The whole body becomes a playground of fear so unravelling it aware, it rears itself in subtle and sometimes hidden ways, takes a conscious practice and self reflection.

So for me the spiritual journey was about finding myself, coming face to face to myself and then feeling content and happy with what I have found.

In being more free now to be myself, I don't seek out things as a spiritual practice or separation to my whole life. I see it as life and something I can tap into more freely as a tool to support myself or others as each day happens. Because I am aware of myself more clear, it has opened my eyes to the world more clear, I still undergo shifts and openings, but they are part of my life now. I don't have to seek them out as I once did. I just move and be where I want to be. Follow my heart and listen to life and what my heart wants to be doing and sharing as I feel and can be..

that's really cool! I am sure you read how it all started for me. " Shallow" but how it's been evolving and will continue to evolve I am sure the jorney will lead me where I need to be.

Originally Posted by naturesflow

The initial reason was the realization I was screwed up in the head with fears and conditioned baggage. I wasn't afraid of a few things, I was afraid of everything. The turning point in my early twenties was opening my reality through a myriad of self empowerment/spiritual books as well as setting out on a conscious healing path for the next twenty five years, through many paths/healing modalities, that I can now use for my own work. I wanted to heal myself from being consumed by fears as deep as I could go, I always knew I would reach a point of ending my war on fear and terror, so I kept on seeking, kept on delving deeper to open up everything in myself contained. For me it was never something I did in half measures, I walked through it all. When I became aware, letting go of emotional baggage and retraining my mind to believe in myself differently, I also became aware of how I felt differently, so that spurred me on to keep on going and delve deeper. Once I gained an awareness of fear at the core in myself, had let go of its hold both through the layers and at the core, I then discovered how the new me could be and experience herself. Now I am content I have found myself beyond my fearful conditioned child/adult I became. I remember in my spiritual awakening and dark night of the soul, in my early forties, realizing the seeking becomes very simple in the end. I just wanted to be myself. So the self seeking a self that wanted to feel itself found itself.

It's when I read things like this I realise how well you put into words what I should really admit about myself - not exactly the same situation so maybe that I should admit. The fears that underlied my brazen claim to rebellion and forging my own way as a pre-pube. I got on my own feet in a kind of Joan of Arc way ready to go out and win wars; but there was always this underlying fear that it would never work, that I'd never have friends or a place to be...like trying to climb out of the well of despair I'd slip and fall back to dark places.

While I was so glad that things came to a head and I was fostered I look back on a duckling syndrome, suddenly finding attachment to the first thing it encountered as mum, namely my foster mum - just 3 weeks after I was pulled out. I didn't expect much and while it all seemed good I was terrified about the me I thought I was, damaging the arrangement. I fell for her in a way, thankfully adapted quickly enough to the new physical environment, felt safe but not about me. As I sometimes say I slammed the door on my parental past but not the rebellious me. As it happened the various talkings to by the Children's people seemed to assure that it wasn't a matter of "being wrong" and as long as I steered out of trouble it was going to work.

It was/is a nice placement - still there; these parents were generous and highly supportive. Without them I'd be in a very different place today. I felt safe, so safe. D'you know, I used to have nightmares that just some slight misadjustment in the timing of events and someone else would have had that placement. Just how chance had lined up to give me a chance at last. But there's still that retreat into aloneness when things don't seem right, a happier security in going it alone.

I could go on but the upshot it's thanks to my parents I faced the wide open bright spaces that allowed expansion. Now I'm of an age that it's hardly worth trying to change the core. I get by. I still walk the streets alone but it's made me an observer.

You are a wonderful being, naturesflow and have made a more fulfilling advance than myself. But for me, there's still work to do.

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

It's when I read things like this I realise how well you put into words what I should really admit about myself - not exactly the same situation so maybe that I should admit. The fears that underlied my brazen claim to rebellion and forging my own way as a pre-pube. I got on my own feet in a kind of Joan of Arc way ready to go out and win wars; but there was always this underlying fear that it would never work, that I'd never have friends or a place to be...like trying to climb out of the well of despair I'd slip and fall back to dark places.

While I was so glad that things came to a head and I was fostered I look back on a duckling syndrome, suddenly finding attachment to the first thing it encountered as mum, namely my foster mum - just 3 weeks after I was pulled out. I didn't expect much and while it all seemed good I was terrified about the me I thought I was, damaging the arrangement. I fell for her in a way, thankfully adapted quickly enough to the new physical environment, felt safe but not about me. As I sometimes say I slammed the door on my parental past but not the rebellious me. As it happened the various talkings to by the Children's people seemed to assure that it wasn't a matter of "being wrong" and as long as I steered out of trouble it was going to work.

It was/is a nice placement - still there; these parents were generous and highly supportive. Without them I'd be in a very different place today. I felt safe, so safe. D'you know, I used to have nightmares that just some slight misadjustment in the timing of events and someone else would have had that placement. Just how chance had lined up to give me a chance at last. But there's still that retreat into aloneness when things don't seem right, a happier security in going it alone.

I could go on but the upshot it's thanks to my parents I faced the wide open bright spaces that allowed expansion. Now I'm of an age that it's hardly worth trying to change the core. I get by. I still walk the streets alone but it's made me an observer.

You are a wonderful being, naturesflow and have made a more fulfilling advance than myself. But for me, there's still work to do.

Gosh I just wrote a very in depth response to you Lorelyen and lost it. Bummer. I am off to bed but back tomorrow, my dreamer obviously wants me to open to more before I respond. I will be back to share. :)

Thankyou for sharing I am a wonderful being, you are a wonderful being too, Lorelyen. I have always felt in me, a very warm fondness and appreciation of your presence at sf.

I am working four jobs at present, the universe makes me laugh. I said out loud a while back, " I need an flow of income, I am over the dribs and drabs of money flow universe". Suddenly job offers pour in and I find myself with four, but I still have time for all my other enjoyments all the same.

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by hallow

There's many reasons why people gravitate towards spiritually, as a way to cope, self elentment, or just a way to feel good about the choices they have made ect... What's your reason? What are your spiritual goals and why? I know them are some tough questions to be completely honest to because of fear of being"judged" but really think about it and post what you feel.lets open a deep non judgemental topic.

I got into an argument with a guy about the Bible some 40 years ago only to realize that I had never read it lol.
Needless to say, the words of Jesus lit up my world for about 10 years. Then my world got lit up again with Eastern religion. then came shamanism, vegetarian and on and on.
All these things appealed both to my mind and my heart and yet always left me searching.
In all that I've lived and experienced, I can no more today guide another person than I could 40 years ago.
I don't say that in a negative way, it's just I realize that I don't know much of anything because everything I've known would always come and then go.
It's all good but I'd have to say that what attracted me to spirituality in a formal way was that it appealed to my intellect and it made me feel good.
My goal is one, to know God.
Nice thread, thanks for listening

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

It's when I read things like this I realise how well you put into words what I should really admit about myself - not exactly the same situation so maybe that I should admit. The fears that underlied my brazen claim to rebellion and forging my own way as a pre-pube. I got on my own feet in a kind of Joan of Arc way ready to go out and win wars; but there was always this underlying fear that it would never work, that I'd never have friends or a place to be...like trying to climb out of the well of despair I'd slip and fall back to dark places.

I can imagine, your sense of no "home" in you was a very real threat to your existence Lorelyen so it would be natural that you fought both for it and feared losing it at the same time. I would have cringed in fear at the thought of being rebellious in the world like your sharing you did. I suppose the foundation of family/a home (even as it had it's own dysfunction)was something that propped me up even as I was falling and drowning in my fear space. There is a comfort in knowing you have a place to be safe (environment) even as your internal world feels very unsafe.

While I was so glad that things came to a head and I was fostered I look back on a duckling syndrome, suddenly finding attachment to the first thing it encountered as mum, namely my foster mum - just 3 weeks after I was pulled out. I didn't expect much and while it all seemed good I was terrified about the me I thought I was, damaging the arrangement. I fell for her in a way, thankfully adapted quickly enough to the new physical environment, felt safe but not about me. As I sometimes say I slammed the door on my parental past but not the rebellious me. As it happened the various talkings to by the Children's people seemed to assure that it wasn't a matter of "being wrong" and as long as I steered out of trouble it was going to work.

Thankyou for sharing Lorelyen. I have gained glimpses into your world but this shows me "you" more as your life was, how you endured and felt going through this. I am glad you found a safe space that supported you.

It was/is a nice placement - still there; these parents were generous and highly supportive. Without them I'd be in a very different place today. I felt safe, so safe. D'you know, I used to have nightmares that just some slight misadjustment in the timing of events and someone else would have had that placement. Just how chance had lined up to give me a chance at last. But there's still that retreat into aloneness when things don't seem right, a happier security in going it alone.

I am glad you were able to maintain and build a connection to your safe space, your parents obviously gave a great deal of support, to help you feel this way and take care of you. Your nightmares were interesting, in how you perceived you might have missed out on the chance you gained...(how old were you at that time? ) I think that sometimes when life changes for the better, that cross over from the old world to the new one can bring up feelings around "what if'"...Sometimes the overwhelm of being immersed in this way of change can be traumatic even as it is supportive and wonderful to our well being. When you only know the way you know, any change can be difficult, good or bad. So the process becomes very much a trauma shift and process. In reading how your nightmares played out, its interesting that you on some level had the capacity to realize how fortunate you were to be chosen. I wonder, was it hard to believe that you were chosen and saved?

I could go on but the upshot it's thanks to my parents I faced the wide open bright spaces that allowed expansion. Now I'm of an age that it's hardly worth trying to change the core. I get by. I still walk the streets alone but it's made me an observer.

I often share with people, I am the impossible made possible. I never imagined the possibilities of my life and inner world could come full circle and be as I am now. My mystery school training with spirit, gave me a gift that can only be shared as I only know myself to be now. Recently I heard a story of someone speaking like yourself, she has been to various healing spaces for support and they basically share they have done all they can for her.. As soon as I heard this story, I felt a real sense of being able to support her in some way to unlock the mystery she has become to the world and her own mind/body/spirit connection. Whether I do or don't, it doesn't matter, more that, the mystery listening in me, reminds me that its not always a mystery if you understand the mystery yourself..

You are a wonderful being, naturesflow and have made a more fulfilling advance than myself. But for me, there's still work to do.

If you look at core work as the foundation of your abundant beautiful self that already is, then you can switch the whole concept of it being work and make it playtime and fun..