Am I Lucifer ... have I lost it?

[Simon_Templar]

I have been here for years. And I fit into the description of Lucifer. No, not the mysterious ethnic charismatic gentleman, and this Timeline is more than familiar to me in the Everpresent not prophetically, except in mystery. I get moments of Deja-Vu where I can feel not just once have I done this before, but hundreds of times. Other moments of meditation reveal that I have died and come back in, a prison of loops and doubts. Believe me, I at the beginning when I woke up I was convinced I had been to God and had found myself only to become desolate at being lost in Time. I have witnessed Lucifer who as a demi-god, goat-horned Devil, or celestial light, never ceases to convince me that the only one there in the end of first impact, is me. Other personalities remain strong despite complex understanding, philosophies of Glamour, and the Hippocratic Oath. Sometimes I think there is no-one as contempted by G-D as me, and all through the grammar is the story of the Fallen Angel - breaking Time, becoming Sin, defying G-D.


I really am convinced, and yet there is no war against G-D only some sort of purest Limbo that pervades the question of what to do? Any advice? I'm open to experience of almost everything on the boards .... even now I have written this ... and this ... maybe not THIS before ... there is change but it ALL seems petty and pointless .. am I petty and pointless? anyhow ... ur responses are more than welcome.

[Internal Queries]

maybe Lucifer (pick a Name, any Name) is a collective "entity", a complex combination of ever evolving Ids Who experiences everything as everyOne in The Now of all human timelines and you're just One of His ever evolving Ids.

while it's very personal i wouldn't take it too personally since I Am "you".

[Simon_Templar]

could this Id personality be a good? do you recognise of anything similar? thanks for your kind response, Internal Queries.

[Internal Queries]

Originally Posted by Simon_Templar

could this Id personality be a good? do you recognise of anything similar? thanks for your kind response, Internal Queries.

of course "He" can be "good" but the good/evil autonomy (duality) is His/Our experiential playground. the Earth is the stage upon which We portray Selfhood, a Passion Play wherein all the "His" Self aspects are actors playing our roles, pretending to be separate and "other".

at least my interpretation of the odd Circumstance.

[Simon_Templar]

But I guess this thread is the thing in which I shall catch the Conscience. I've thought about the ghost in the machine, but these days and under any circumstances its not really revelatory.

[Internal Queries]

don't fret it too much ... unless you enjoy working exceedingly complicated puzzles which might not have any actual conclusions or solutions.

just Be yourSelf.

[Rah nam]

OK, I will stick my neck out and tell you what I know, but usually I do not talk about it when I come across someone like you. And I have come across several on boards like this.
Now how do I word this, to make myself understood?
You are part of a very dark being. Or lets say a being, highly evolved, in service to self. When I say highly evolved, I mean upper fifth density. Trying to ascend to sixth density. Sixth density is the density of unity. No being can ascend unless it embraces and understand all facets of creation. Meaning those of the light have to understand the path of the dark and those of the dark have to understand and fully embrace the light.
It is difficult for those of the dark to embrace the light. More so then the other way around.
In most cases they have to go back to the lower realms and learn.
This is where you come in. You, in my view are an extension of one of those beings. Here to learn about the light, or service to others.
And how are you going with that?

[Internal Queries]

Originally Posted by Rah nam

OK, I will stick my neck out and tell you what I know, but usually I do not talk about it when I come across someone like you. And I have come across several on boards like this.
Now how do I word this, to make myself understood?
You are part of a very dark being. Or lets say a being, highly evolved, in service to self. When I say highly evolved, I mean upper fifth density. Trying to ascend to sixth density. Sixth density is the density of unity. No being can ascend unless it embraces and understand all facets of creation. Meaning those of the light have to understand the path of the dark and those of the dark have to understand and fully embrace the light.
It is difficult for those of the dark to embrace the light. More so then the other way around.
In most cases they have to go back to the lower realms and learn.
This is where you come in. You, in my view are an extension of one of those beings. Here to learn about the light, or service to others.
And how are you going with that?

that's pretty astute tho i'm not sure that it's any more difficult for "the dark" to understand "the light" than visa versus. i can see either/or/or neither to some degree and i've noted that there's an arrogance of superiority that those who identify themselves as "light" often affect which disallows an appreciation for the contrast. and "the light" always seems to want to hoard all the metaphorical good stuff, like love and healing, as if the womb isn't dark sonorous comfort, as if predators don't hunt during the day. "the dark" is often viewed as "lower" and "evil", even as you speak of "descending to lower realms". these other "realms" aren't "higher" or "lower", imo. they run parallel and are just different. nocturnal creatures are just as beautiful and varied as the diurnal ones. our biased value judgements sometimes cause us to miss truth, cause us to fail to appreciate beauty.

the light can be as blinding as the darkness.

[Simon_Templar]

Thanks for the input Rah Nam. I see my best incarnation as an Angel of Death - someone prone to the discovery of mistakes in conventions such as the Vocations, Doctorate, and subject to testing of these corrections. The death bit comes with my Vision of my Unicorn (think of a white horse - it might work!) with 666 tattooed on its side. (and on it, it's name was DEATH). The ghost in the machine thing is valid for the experience if I'm proud, but I'm not. The pride is in the mercy of not loving G-D because you're "supposed to" but because you believe He loves ~you~, and He loves me and I'm convinced (by examples of Allah's love and acceptance) that He does love me.

However, I believe in Evil. Not cause it's stupid, or capricious, or ego but in supreme being there is an inevitable Buddhist interpretation of Surreal/Weird/Evil. How to get past aesthetics/ego? It's hard work but it's worth it.

[Belle]

The way I see it, we are all part of a collective and we all have a balance of "light" and "dark". The greater the capacity for dark, the greater the capacity for light.

Ego is not something to "get past" in my book but something to integrate.