HELP! Wife having spiritual awakening/marriage in peril

[Kalika]

Agree with Hawker... hope everything is working out for your higher good.

[Butterfly-Ink]

Hello. I am a new member here and my experience so far resonates. I am married for 26 years and known spouse for 32 years, which is a very long time. Our daughter is 12.

Twenty one months ago began a friendship with a married male parent at her school. Our connection was immediate and we were mutually attracted to each other. We did volunteer work together for 3 months and unfortunately had no boundaries to protect our marriages.

We actively decided not to have an affair because neither of us wanted to be a homewrecker. This OP brought me to life and set my heart on fire. I fell in love with him and continue to care for him now and want only happiness for him.

The magnetism and energy between us was very strong and it began a spiritual awakening/transformation in me. I am a different person than I was and I am at the beginning of this process.

My husband is at a different place emotionally and spiritually. He does not think that he needs to change or improve himself, so he is stagnant. He knows of the OP, but I have let him go because he has plenty of baggage and issues and he cannot rescue me. He works four blocks from my home. My husband and I had many discussions about our relationship. It improved for a while, but then goes back to no communication. He closes himself off by gambling and TV and my efforts for discussion are thwarted in favor of these addictions.

There is no balance between us. We are going in different directions. This is a process that I have never experienced before and have definately not encountered such a strong connection and intense emotions with another male in my entire life.

This is very difficult for my husband to witness, as he cannot truly understand what is happening. I barely understand it myself, but as I write this now, I know I am on the right path and will continue to find my authentic self. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

Peace to you during this time of transition.