Please, somebody say something to get rid of this thought

Originally Posted by Conaeolos

"He certainly gives me the impression of wanting to interact with me as much as possible when he's here, and his body language and eye contact certainly imply interest of some sort"
If you say that pretty surely, I would bet high odds he is not gay or non-interested and just someone who naturally discludes you as being interested in friendship/romance because of your business relationship and as so treats you somewhat indifferently outside business interactions. Lot of guys I know including myself do that all the time especially when it involves being a client. Make a move (not necessarily toward romance) when he not a client anymore or before if you don't make it awkward, see if he reciprocates in kind then, anything else is justification for a lack of patience.

My two cents.

Interesting...thanks for the perspective.

I'm sitting here laughing a bit because when you said "don't make it awkward" I started thinking about trying to do what you recommend and I think that if I did suggest anything, even coffee, and turned me down, I get the image of me turning and bolting (not literally but my energy/spirit) so fast and so far that I'm in another state before he finishes his sentence. Guess I'm not really ready to broach this, eh?

Anyway, thanks again for your input. It really is interesting...I feel like I've been absurdly obvious, not overtly but I definitely think what I feel is written all over my face, and yet if one were to go PURELY by my words and actions, it is possible that he has not picked up on what I feel. He is always the one to start conversations (albeit only about business) when he's there, and he lingers a bit after the appointment till my boss goes back to his office so that he can say goodbye to me and thank me, and when he does that, again, he's the one driving the conversation. Basically you could say that except for greeting him when he comes in, all along I've only been speaking when spoken to.

From the sounds of it, you're the one giving off the 'not interested' vibe. Many people here gave you advice and you had an excuse for every one of them why you shouldn't do it. I don't mean to sound angry or mean right now, I'm absolutely not; but perhaps you're the one causing the awkward wall between you two and not him?

I Knew with absolute certainty when I met my ex husband that he would be the father of my children, we started going out, got on so well, we were best friends - I always had a niggle that there was something missing - passion!
We married, we had 2 beautiful boys and after 10 years of marriage I just had to leave to be honest with myself and live my life as I ought - with passion!
We shared the boys half week each until quite recently, now they stay mainly with me - they are now almost 18 and just turned 20! Time does fly.

Although I am still looking for my soul mate and believe more strongly than ever that we are about to meet, I am alone but I never regretted leaving my marriage because everyone was happier, we were destined to parent these boys which we have done reasonably well and now we are apart but the best thing is that 'HE' came out 5 years after I left him, he now lives his life in truth instead of a lie and is happier for that

My point here is that you can trust that you know when you are to be with someone - it may not be that they are the love of your life but that there is a purpose for you, in our case, my ex wouldn't have had any children had we not married and had he been honest with himself from the start (harder back in 1987) and he IS a great father!

Is Destiny always about falling in love and living happily ever after?

nope, such is life

Originally Posted by daisy1612

I Knew with absolute certainty when I met my ex husband that he would be the father of my children, we started going out, got on so well, we were best friends - I always had a niggle that there was something missing - passion!
We married, we had 2 beautiful boys and after 10 years of marriage I just had to leave to be honest with myself and live my life as I ought - with passion!
We shared the boys half week each until quite recently, now they stay mainly with me - they are now almost 18 and just turned 20! Time does fly.

Although I am still looking for my soul mate and believe more strongly than ever that we are about to meet, I am alone but I never regretted leaving my marriage because everyone was happier, we were destined to parent these boys which we have done reasonably well and now we are apart but the best thing is that 'HE' came out 5 years after I left him, he now lives his life in truth instead of a lie and is happier for that

My point here is that you can trust that you know when you are to be with someone - it may not be that they are the love of your life but that there is a purpose for you, in our case, my ex wouldn't have had any children had we not married and had he been honest with himself from the start (harder back in 1987) and he IS a great father!

That's awesome! Good for you :) Love and light

[ArtisticAthlete]

**Somewhat of a blind post**

If you think he's gay, most likely, he is gay. We have gut instincts for a reason; trust them.

With that said, I would just be upfront and ask him. But, I believe, one of your posts says he's a client (?) and you don't want to make him feel awkward? If that's the case, I would wait and ask him later. But, from what I've read--The proof is in the pudding; you already have your answer.

If you do ask him, and he says "No", you never know why he's saying "No". He may be in denial, not "out", or not self-aware. Or, hey, maybe he's telling the truth? Lol. Nah... There are many gut instincts you can have about a person (liar, cheater, etc.), and the fact that you think he's gay is telling.

This has happened to me before--I met a guy who, eventually, I thought was gay (based on small things...just like your posts. I even made a post in the SF/TF forum about it. I think it was called "Gay twinflames/soulmates"...something like that), asked him and pretty much got yelled at all while insisting he was straight. Um...sure you are, buddy. You've professed your love for your bff, you're over 30 and have never really had a gf, and all you talk about is how much you love your male "best friend". It doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two-and-two together. Besides, there are "more fish in the sea" and I wasn't in the mood to believe him, start a relationship, then get dumped 5yrs later cuz he came to the realization that he loves his bff/he's gay. Yeah...no thanks. Not my cup of tea. Lol. On the other hand, I have a friend who has decided to ignore the "signs" that her bf is gay (or, may have gay tendencies) and chalks it up to him "kidding". Hhhmm. I do not think straight men joke around about 'letting him hit that ___ if I was a girl!', bail out on holiday plans b/c his male bff wants to hang out, text when his "man crush" is on TV, etc. Eh...to each their own. I'm a big fan of paying attn to the signs to avoid future troubles. One must be aware when making certain decisions in life.
(Note: I do not have a problem with gay people. In fact, I have a lot of gay friends. I was even willing to just be friends w/ him (b/c who says you have to date everbody you meet?) but that wasn't his cup of tea. It was all or nothing I guess. Lol.)

Conclusion: Trust your gut. Always! With that said, like a previous poster stated--Maybe you're not meant to be in a relationship? You guys can still be friends, learn from one another, etc.



Best wishes!

Hi Artistic - Thanks for sharing your story. You related it with a great sense of humor and made me smile.

It's an interesting point about trusting my gut. My suspicion that he's gay was more of an intellectual one, really - putting together a bunch of little clues. I am really my own worst enemy here because I overthink everything and if there's a black hole where something I want to know is and I can't find out directly, I think and think and think until I find a way to manufacture something to fill up the hole.

If I take away all those little clues and go only on my gut, I don't think he's gay. Unless I'm just completely delusional (which I admit is a possibility, but I don't think I am), I really did get that "I like you in THAT way" vibe from him last year. He could be bi, I suppose, which wouldn't be a problem for me at all and it would explain what both my gut and brain are telling me. Also, back on the brain side of things, I did find something yesterday he posted recently that would pretty strongly support the idea that he's interested in women at least some of the time. Of course, he could be the straightest guy in the world and it wouldn't mean anything in terms of what he may or may not think of me personally.

I don't know....more and more often these days I find myself on the brink of just losing it entirely and sending him a what would surely be a novella-length email confessing all.

At this point I almost want resolution in any form worse than I want that resolution to be what I want it to be.

[ArtisticAthlete]

Originally Posted by chartreuse

Hi Artistic - Thanks for sharing your story. You related it with a great sense of humor and made me smile.

It's an interesting point about trusting my gut. My suspicion that he's gay was more of an intellectual one, really - putting together a bunch of little clues. I am really my own worst enemy here because I overthink everything and if there's a black hole where something I want to know is and I can't find out directly, I think and think and think until I find a way to manufacture something to fill up the hole.

If I take away all those little clues and go only on my gut, I don't think he's gay. Unless I'm just completely delusional (which I admit is a possibility, but I don't think I am), I really did get that "I like you in THAT way" vibe from him last year. He could be bi, I suppose, which wouldn't be a problem for me at all and it would explain what both my gut and brain are telling me. Also, back on the brain side of things, I did find something yesterday he posted recently that would pretty strongly support the idea that he's interested in women at least some of the time. Of course, he could be the straightest guy in the world and it wouldn't mean anything in terms of what he may or may not think of me personally.

I don't know....more and more often these days I find myself on the brink of just losing it entirely and sending him a what would surely be a novella-length email confessing all.

At this point I almost want resolution in any form worse than I want that resolution to be what I want it to be.

Hi!

Your friend sounds similar to mine. I truly believe he was interested in me; I just chose to pay attn to the signs, my gut instinct, etc. All because he's interested in me doesn't make some of his actions disappear. Like you said, maybe he's bi or just the strangest guy alive? Ha! Eh...I don't know. I've just learned not to make excuses for the way I feel about something. I don't care how their package is wrapped (no pun intended ), if a red flag pops up it's no bueno for me.

Now, I know everyone isn't perfect--You just have to decide if you're ready to hop on board this ship. Gotta weigh the pros and the cons...always.

Best wishes!

BTW, if you send the email, let us know!