How soon is too soon to move on?

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

^^^ What a lovely post (if you'll excuse me saying so). Very sound advice.

...

Thanks very much and I feel the same about your posts as well

Peace & blessings,
7L

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by 002 Cents

That really was beautiful.

I was just confused because I met someone that is everything I could want in a man and the timing was just so bad. I wanted to be able to justify pursuing that... Afraid I might miss out on something amazing. But... I'm just not ready. I am so damaged from everything leading up to the divorce. If I miss out, then I miss out... Because I can't bring this wreck into another relationship as is. I have major trust and self esteem issues now.

I need to work on me, my indepence and getting my life in order.

If it was meant to be it will happen and if not... At least I have some great memories to treasure. Such a beautiful way to commemorate the anniversary of the day I found out about hubs gf... Meeting an amazing guy in a wildly serendipitous night out.

Lovely sentiments and taking time for yourself sounds brilliant

Peace & blessings,
7L

[jenriggs]

I think you will just know when you are ready. If someone enters your life, it is for a reason, good or bad. But, if you ignore it, you might have missed out on finding someone very special. So, there is no time frame. Everything happens for a reason.

[smewii]

Exactly, we're all different. You can get a thousand opinions on this, but they'll never be more accurate than going with how you feel. What do you want? Is it ethical? If so, you just go with that... if it's giving yourself to someone else just one month after a divorce, so be it.

[Rozie]

I didn't check a box on the poll, because the box I would check wasn't there.

It depends on the relationship. A long term marriage with kids, is going to take a while to get over.

The appropriate time is when you are ready to move on. After the divorce is final and your have processed your trauma is when you should be ready. That takes time. You don't want to drag your dirty laundry into your next relationship.

I do agree that there are curveballs and there are exceptions to every rule.

I don't think it is something one should actively pursue until they are ready.

Depending on the relationship and the person, they could be ready quick, and others take years.

[Really!]

Originally Posted by Somnia

So I don't believe there really is a set time limit on when a person is ready to move on, but definitely should give yourself alone time to figure things out and to heal from any kind of emotional yuck you may have experienced in the previous relationship...

I agree, I believe it's best to give yourself time to regroup ...

Your question is often asked on widow websites ...
Some started dated as early as 2wks after their spouses's funeral as well as before their spouses's body arrived from the middle east for burial ...
It's shocking, some replies alluded to changing their panties first to asking if they planned on taking a date or their new companion to the funeral ....
People who are grieving also do not take the time to heal or shed old behaviors to become healthy again and they wind up in either bad relations or beating themself for dating too quickly ...
Be caring of yourself & try not to get caught up thinking your happiness is dependent on someone else ...

[Claireanneh]

You should move on when you feel like it, not when the other people or social conventions tell you so.

[linen53]

For me all strings had to be untied and papers signed. And even then I gave myself a year to get over all the emotional baggage left behind. But that's just me. Not judging anyone else.