I did something stupid and regret it!

[Nymphea]

Okay, I am so ashamed for what I did yesterday and I don't know where to go for some adviceand a listening ear….until I thought of this forum with its' nice people. Here comes my story;
I have been in a 'friends with benefits relationship' with a man for a few months and we go along together very well. Yesterday he whatsapped me a picture of him which was a bit erotic. I liked it and responded out of an impulse with a picture I have on my Phone, it's from pinterest...a silhouette of a lady who could be me, you don't see any details, only her silhouette and a coloured light. He was enthusiastic about this picture and asked me if I took it right away. I said it was a month old. After that he got offline and I haven't heard anything from him till now. It's been a day and a half. Ok, that happens often, we don't chat each day. But a feeling of guilt and especially fear is creeping up on me, that he has found out that it is not my picture. That he checked it with google images for example, to see what the source is (and yes, then you find the picture on the internet). I am so afraid of losing him for such a stupid fault. I don't get why I did it, really. I'd better waited and send him a picture of myself but I wanted to respond immediately. What to do now? I don't want to tell him the truth...is there a good chance that he didn't check it at all and believes it is me at the picture? His question when it was made, made me suspicious.
Allright, I know it was stupid, and I will never ever do it again. If I only could turn back time...but your advice would be greatly appreciated!

[iamthat]

There could be many reasons why you haven't heard from him. But what you did does not seem like a major issue. You say you don't want to tell him the truth, but at the moment you are full of regret and worry. So why not contact him and admit that it wasn't your picture. Keep it all light-hearted and casual, maybe say it was just a joke and you wished you did look like her. You might find that all your fears are groundless.

Peace

[Lucky 1]

How about maybe you just say you were a little embarrassed that he sent you a titillating pic and you had nothing to give him.......so you wanted to give him a taste of something till you do one of your own for him??

And then take a picture of yourself for him......and make it a good one!

[ocean breeze]

You're not even sure he knows yet.

I know it's easy to say "don't obsess over it" but at least try to keep calm. You can only await a response now and take it from there.

Others here have given good advice. If necessary, fess up, say you were shy taking a pic of yourself or some such and turn it light-hearted if you can.

Things tend to go wrong when people send erotic pictures to each other.
Heard of "revenge porn?"
Beware!

[Nymphea]

Thank you all so much! Yes, I know and will keep in mind what you say Lorelyn! So true. Five minutes ago he apped me and asked me to see him tonight, so I guess I have been stressing for nothing….Don't think I going to tell him the truth then. Better let it go and never do it again!

[linen53]

Careful what you put out there on the internet. Don't make a pic of you to graphic (regardless of what Lucky says ).

Mistakes are just that: mistakes. It's how we learn what not to do. Be kind to yourself. I do agree with the first of Lucky's advice. Just explain to him you made a human mistake due to the fact that you were taken off-guard.

[JosephineB]

I think the main thing I get from your post is that you're walking on egg shells with this guy for fear of putting a foot wrong and losing him. FWB aren't supposed to be this emotional invested are they? It doesn't seem you can be yourself with him either. Not to mention you felt the need to lie which isn't sitting well with you either. Is this really better than being on your own. My answer to that is big NO.

Time spent working on self esteem and self confidence would be a better focus of your time and energy imo. Best wishes.

Ps, I agree with Linen re sending graphic pics.

[JosephineB]

Pps, there's nothing wrong with wanting more than this FWB OP.

[Lucky 1]

Originally Posted by linen53

Careful what you put out there on the internet. Don't make a pic of you to graphic (regardless of what Lucky says ).

Mistakes are just that: mistakes. It's how we learn what not to do. Be kind to yourself. I do agree with the first of Lucky's advice. Just explain to him you made a human mistake due to the fact that you were taken off-guard.

Linen....while I don't see anything wrong with sending a lover a titillating photo...I absolutely agree about being careful with what you post online!!!!