Soulmate or Not?

[heartbeats]

I'm a newbie and very excited to hopefully find more people who believe in and practice LOA to give me advice on matters in my life. This is one particular life experience, I need help with, I apologize if the length is a bit long, but I want to describe the details well.

A year ago, I went on three dates with a guy who I felt sparks and really drawn to. I haven't felt this way for at least 50 guys that I've tried dating in 3 years since my last relationship. And I still haven't felt so strongly with any guys I've tried dating in the last year since I met him. I loved a lot of things about him which I haven't said about a guy in a long time. There was something about him...

There were so many things about him that fell so into place for me and it was eery. See, a few weeks before we started chatting online, I told friends that I was going to delete myself from online dating because it was pointless for me to be dating since I was planning to move to California across the country and at the time, I had the hope that I would move within 6-8 months. I said to my friends that I would have to meet a guy I liked who also had a job he could move to California, would want to move to Cali with me, and would have to be able to move in 6-8 months! Also, on top of it, I mentioned he would have to like country life too because after I live in California for a year, I was thinking I might want to move to Texas so he would need to be open and able to possibly do that in our future together. I said that's just not possible, so it's silly to waste my time right now.

Before I was going to delete myself from online dating, I came across this cute guy's profile that was new and I decided to talk to him. Long story short, on our first date he said to me that he moved here from California temporarily to help his mom for a little while, but that in 6 months she is moving to Florida so after that he can move to anywhere he wants to and he hinted he would be fine to move back to California if I was planning on going there. He told me he works remotely from home for his job so he can move to any state in the country! Everything was just so creepily specific and on top of it I had butterflies and found him charismatic and I think I fell in love at first sight, there as just something as if maybe I knew him before or had this experience before. The one thing that was different about him at the time was that he said he doesn't see himself as a country guy and doesn't think he would enjoy living in Texas or among southern culture, so that part did not fit to my life plan.....at the time.

I'm going to make a long story short and just say that I screwed things up with him because I was afraid and I made him feel like I wasn't interested toward the end of our encounter and so when I contacted him to apologize and ask him to go out on a date with me again, he said he respectfully declines and I knew it was over. I had a feeling this would happen before it even happened and perhaps I attracted pushing him away. I was sorrowful of the situation and I clearly upset him and he must have been hurt/felt rejected but I also think perhaps we were both also on different wavelengths at the time. I've learned a lot more since that experience and can see I wasn't ready to get serious with him at the time and I sometimes wonder if I could make things right and start over with him.

Well, what's funny is I can see his social media and I discovered he is now living in Texas for a new job he took 6 months after meeting me....It appears he is now getting the experience of country life at one of my favorite places: Texas.

I can't help but find this rather ironic. I believe in the law of attraction now and I think I attracted him into my life but then my vibration sort of flopped during it from being afraid to really like someone again and afraid to get hurt and consequently I pushed him away. I also think I sensed he felt insecure to be dating me and so we were both pinging back and forth with vibrational discord. Something he said to me on our last date was that my hair seems thin, which made me slightly upset/offended and no one had ever said that to me before and my intuition told me he was comparing me to his ex girlfriend who I discovered had thick hair from photos on social media. He had gotten out of a 4 year relationship 6 months before meeting me and they had lived together in Cali, I think he wasn't entirely over the experience at the time, especially because she dumped him. Also, when he said goodbye to me and wished me well, he mentioned that he felt like he was doing all the planning and paying for dates which I was rather angered to hear because we had only been on 3 dates and I assumed a man pays in the beginning but of course I would have eventually began offering to pay for things. Friends told me I was better off if he was actually quibbling about money and planning dates while on the way out the door....but I can't help but think he was just in an immature mindset and still working on getting over his last relationship at the time.

What's more eery to this story is that I asked the universe to give me a yes or no answer as to whether this man was the man for me and my future husband. On the night that would have been our fourth date (which never happened because I messed it up), I ended up going out with my friend and her boyfriend to a bar and a handsome guy who was a few years younger than me started flirting with me and when I asked what his name was.....it was the exact name of the man I had fallen for, which is a name I had not come across before. It was so coincidental. And then right after he told me his name, I looked up at the tv screen in the bar and saw that there were 3 sports reporters on the screen all holding microphones and on the microphones the letters YES was written on all 3 microphones in capital letters. And I instinctually remembered the question I had asked the universe and knew it was my answer. It just seems so strangely cruel that if the answer was yes, that I received it after I already blew it with this man and he ended up walking out of my life. I was pretty angry with the universe and started thinking maybe that sign meant nothing or it was just what I wanted to hear, nothing more. I still have no idea to this day. I've had trouble trusting "signs" now when I ask the universe for help with situations.

Also, at the time this happened, I read a horoscope for that month after we parted ways that said I would meet my soulmate on the 6th of the month which was the exact date of our first date and the horoscope said that we would part ways for now. Was that something I attracted to myself because I wanted to believe he was my soulmate? I just feel so confused by this other sign as well.

Oh and this is a smaller synchronicity, but this past Sept I had some odd sudden desire to go on a trip to Canada and was really interested in going to Banff to see the mountain range as I love mountains and wanted to find a friend to go with me. Well, it didn't end up happening for me, but a month later I decided to check this man's social media and he had put up a photo of him in Banff in front of the exact mountain range at the park I wanted to visit and he took the trip during the exact week that I was thinking of doing this trip....

I still think about him from time to time since a little over a year has passed and sometimes I think about contacting him, but then I feel too scared to do so. I'm still living on the East Coast and still haven't moved to California or Texas but I still want to. I'm a little embarrassed if we speak that he will think I haven't done much since we met...Should I just give it a shot and contact him? Or let it alone? If I did contact him, I'm not sure what to say? I'm also worried he may not even want to talk to me and waste his time since I live so far away from him now, he may think it's useless to bother talking to me since I'm so far away. I keep waiting for some inspired action or for something to really push me to do it, but I just don't know...

Is there a way I can ask the universe for a sign as to whether I should and whether it will end up favorable and trust the signs I receive? And if I ask the universe, will it just give me the answer I want because that's what I attracted to myself or will it give me the true answer?

I know I have so many questions here, please please someone take the time to respond with some advice, I would truly appreciate it so much! Thank you

[Clover]

Thanks for sharing your story. I think we are all interconnected, so yes, I am sure this person could be part of your soul group however, in my opinion, I would reach out to him! Get some closure on the matter. Yes, the possibility of him moving on is likely, but who cares? At least you will get closure. I have been on this forum long enough to witness that repetitive signs and numbers really does not 'offer' much other than the Universe reflecting it's alignment with you. Taking inspired action is what gets the job done. Just reach out? You have nothing to lose, and much to gain, even if it means closing a chapter.

Oh and welcome to the forum, hope you enjoy your stay here!

[heartbeats]

Originally Posted by Clover

Thanks for sharing your story. I think we are all interconnected, so yes, I am sure this person could be part of your soul group however, in my opinion, I would reach out to him! Get some closure on the matter. Yes, the possibility of him moving on is likely, but who cares? At least you will get closure. I have been on this forum long enough to witness that repetitive signs and numbers really does not 'offer' much other than the Universe reflecting it's alignment with you. Taking inspired action is what gets the job done. Just reach out? You have nothing to lose, and much to gain, even if it means closing a chapter.

Oh and welcome to the forum, hope you enjoy your stay here!

How do I know when to take action? How do I know when I have inspired action/divine timing?

[Grace222]

Heartbeats,

As Clover mentioned, reaching out may bring resolution one way or the other for you (works out or helps w/ closure). One thing separately I would like to mention though - I would hate to see you marooned in your heart over the "possibility" of this guy. And also, the fact that he was being critical that early on worries me. As you mentioned, he may not have been truly ready to open his heart to someone yet. But, don't make excuses for a person's behavior. (And from my experience, when a man wants to be with you, he will do what he can to be with you and certainly not quibble about who is planning/paying and hair on the 3rd date.) You deserve someone who honors you and brings out the best in you (who thinks you're the cat's meow) rather than brings you down. Please don't settle for less. Self love (not egotistical kind but certainly self honoring kind) will draw the right love to you. My best wishes!

[heartbeats]

Originally Posted by Grace222

Heartbeats,

As Clover mentioned, reaching out may bring resolution one way or the other for you (works out or helps w/ closure). One thing separately I would like to mention though - I would hate to see you marooned in your heart over the "possibility" of this guy. And also, the fact that he was being critical that early on worries me. As you mentioned, he may not have been truly ready to open his heart to someone yet. But, don't make excuses for a person's behavior. (And from my experience, when a man wants to be with you, he will do what he can to be with you and certainly not quibble about who is planning/paying and hair on the 3rd date.) You deserve someone who honors you and brings out the best in you (who thinks you're the cat's meow) rather than brings you down. Please don't settle for less. Self love (not egotistical kind but certainly self honoring kind) will draw the right love to you. My best wishes!

Thanks Grace, I guess you're right. Unless I get some sort of sign or huge inspiration, I won't bother contacting him. Those were probably all signs I attracted to myself because it's what I wanted to see I guess.

Thank you for your help guys!!