Transformational Awakening

[Butterfly-Ink]

My story:

My daughter attended a small, private, Catholic school, that is 4 blocks from home. I had been volunteering at school for 3 years. In March of 2016, I began talking with another parent. He had been at this school for 2 years and I never talked to him or knew of him before this time.

We are older parents (me 52 and him 53). The day we met was very windy and I asked him if he would be warm enough with his thin black jacket and offered him my gloves. He said he would be fine and from there, we talked every week and did some other volunteer activities together. He is married for 7 years and I for 26 years.

From the beginning, I felt very safe with him and a sense of home and Deja vu. We had intense eye contact and removed our sunglasses a lot, so we could see each others' eyes. We were playful and got along very well. We didn't see each other over summer break.

When we came back in fall, it was as if no time had passed and we picked up where we left off. I was drawn to him like a magnet and I felt happy and energized with him. He told me that he got a job and that he couldn't volunteer anymore, so the following week, I asked him to go for a car ride with me. He told me that he cared about me and I told him that I was thinking about it him too much and I was afraid to cross a line. He told me we could still be friends.

I didn't see him for 6 weeks. We met up again at an Autumn dance and we stood very close together, talked, rubbed each others' backs and our eyes were together most of this time. When I was with him, time stopped and the background noise and people faded away. I often felt it was just me and him.

A month later I told him that I had fallen in love with him via letter. He avoided me for the next 2 months. We spoke again in January and this is when I began seeing triple digit numbers. During this time, I found out that the job was at the school. He told me it was at another school in the area. The end of the month, we hugged in his office and I felt a oneness with him. The principal broke up our friendship because it was interfering with his work. I took my daughter to school and picked her up and that was it. In February, March and April, he would be outside a lot when I was there and he would say hi and I would show up and talk to him. We hugged twice more and both times, I felt one with him. I was completely in the moment and did not feel my feet on the ground, only aware of the waist up that was against him. I have never experienced this with someone.

There was and still is s lot of coincidence that occurs with us. Same place and same time. We pass each other on the street often. We show up at the exact time the other one does, with no prior knowledge of it.

My daughter changed schools this year. This past summer, I didn't see him in June, twice in July (and he looked like hell), and once in August. In September, he was working outside a lot and I would drive and wave or he would pose by his truck, etc. In October, I was slowing down a lot, as if wanting to talk to him. I stopped by one day and gave him another letter, saying he energized my soul and that I cared for him deeply and also that he was the catalyst for my transformation, and that I loved him without conditions. I also gave him a few books on loving yourself and dark night of the soul. There was no response from him.

In November, I gave him a humorous letter about a recent pic of himself that he retouched. No response from that either.

I had been doing some reading on twin flames recently. About a week later, I felt a shift and I knew that I had to stop chasing him because he needed s break from running. I felt very strongly that I have to leave him be for now, so that is what I am doing.

I continue to see triple numbers everywhere -- clocks, receipts, license plates, etc, and sometimes, many times per day. In the past two months, his face comes into my third eye and I still feel connected to him. He is in my dreams often and at times, he will ask me a question and I will have a mental conversation with him. I have never experienced this before with anyone else.

I have always said that there is something about him that I cannot explain. Even though there is mutual attraction between us, we do not want to have an affair. If I had the choice of being intimate with him or being still with him, I would choose the latter.

Responses welcomed. Thank you for reading.

[psychegrl]

Much love to you. There is a lot of warmth and wisdom in your words and you seem to be understanding a lot of the directions that Source is taking you.

I was activated by my twin (I got confirmation via a TF reader on it otherwise I'd be a total mess!) in September 2015. He is married and we didn't have an affair either though it was discussed. It was a short time together and I haven't spoken to him in 2 years next month. I walked away completely so I wouldn't be pulled back to him but also was completely honestly about my feelings towards him when I said goodbye. He said that he couldn't lead a double life but never spoke about his feelings towards me. His fb page is open to the public so I could see what he was posting and did for about a year. Soon as I accepted things as they were, my intense pushing him away and then being pulled back, feeling trapped stopped.

New energy has recently started up again and I'm trying to merge with it on a 5D/ higher self level. He going through his dark night of the soul now and it's been messing with me. I now know I can ask that our connection be turned down during bad days and I have more control over the energies I'm experiencing using my intentions.

I can't say if you are or aren't a twin but this journey is mostly about healing and focusing on the "Twin within" meaning the balancing of the Devine Masculine and Feminine in each of us. We can't do much until we do our own healing. (These are my opinions and understandings)

Even if you are not a TF that doesn't diminish your situation or the gifts of understanding love in a new way. The best advice I can give anyone is not to over think the union stuff. The one thing I did the most early on was obsess about if I was or wasn't a TF and if he was thinking about me. (And how I wanted to get over him!!!!!)

If we focus on the stuff we can control, personal healing and being our authentic selves, it's easier to navigate the harder energies that have been triggering the collective. I'm trying to see where my ego is blocking me and heal it so I can experience that lever of love more and more often and work on my missions.

I wish you much love and good luck on your path!♡

[ssdm1]

Hi and welcome. I am in the same age group as you. I have known my twin since we were kids and we had a romantic relationship when we were young, then no contact for 20 years. 2 years ago he unexpectedly came back in my life again.

Some of what you say here resonates with me and I've experienced the same. Like the hugs and the feeling of being one. For me I feel at home when I am in his arms. We hug often and closely and I am only aware of our bodies together and the calm I feel. My twin frequently rubs my back whether we are hugging or not. Also like you I have experienced feeling like everything and everyone disappears when we hug, like it's just the two of us. I had experienced that with him when we were teens as well but we did not know of twin flames at that time.

As long as I've known him we have had an odd way of communicating. We finish each others sentences and he often will answer a question I have before I speak it. Communication between us is fast because it is taking place on a telepathic level as well as verbal at the same time. Our phone conversations often start in the middle (no 'hi how are you') just jump right into whatever had been telepathically talked about. It's very odd.

I am not in a relationship but he is and I answered your other thread on that.

From the first moment he came back in my life the connection between us was immediate again. All the feelings, telepathy came back but he was in a relationship and he continues to be. For me once again he is on my mind 24/7, no matter how I try to stop that. After 2 years I've adjusted to living with him in my head all the time.

[Butterfly-Ink]

Originally Posted by psychegrl

Much love to you. There is a lot of warmth and wisdom in your words and you seem to be understanding a lot of the directions that Source is taking you.

I was activated by my twin (I got confirmation via a TF reader on it otherwise I'd be a total mess!) in September 2015. He is married and we didn't have an affair either though it was discussed. It was a short time together and I haven't spoken to him in 2 years next month. I walked away completely so I wouldn't be pulled back to him but also was completely honestly about my feelings towards him when I said goodbye. He said that he couldn't lead a double life but never spoke about his feelings towards me. His fb page is open to the public so I could see what he was posting and did for about a year. Soon as I accepted things as they were, my intense pushing him away and then being pulled back, feeling trapped stopped.

New energy has recently started up again and I'm trying to merge with it on a 5D/ higher self level. He going through his dark night of the soul now and it's been messing with me. I now know I can ask that our connection be turned down during bad days and I have more control over the energies I'm experiencing using my intentions.

I can't say if you are or aren't a twin but this journey is mostly about healing and focusing on the "Twin within" meaning the balancing of the Devine Masculine and Feminine in each of us. We can't do much until we do our own healing. (These are my opinions and understandings)

Even if you are not a TF that doesn't diminish your situation or the gifts of understanding love in a new way. The best advice I can give anyone is not to over think the union stuff. The one thing I did the most early on was obsess about if I was or wasn't a TF and if he was thinking about me. (And how I wanted to get over him!!!!!)

If we focus on the stuff we can control, personal healing and being our authentic selves, it's easier to navigate the harder energies that have been triggering the collective. I'm trying to see where my ego is blocking me and heal it so I can experience that lever of love more and more often and work on my missions.

I wish you much love and good luck on your path!♡

Thank you for the response. I have already learned much about myself. One recent lesson is that I cannot control him, his thoughts or actions and I cannot change him either. I have definately been the "chaser" and he is he runner. I have never in my life been so honest and vunerable with anyone, especially a married male! I can be my true self with him. Right now, I felt a shift in my heart and I know that I needed to stop chasing him. He needs space and time, just like he did before. He did come back, so I am hopeful that he will again. We are two minutes away from each other and I know he is at the school and he knows where I live.

It's been hard for me, as I feel abandoned, but that is my greatest fear and letting go is very hard for me. Sometimes, I am just not sure if I am just having a conversation with myself or if it is really him. I do feel a greater peace with my decision though.

[psychegrl]

Originally Posted by Butterfly-Ink

Thank you for the response. I have already learned much about myself. One recent lesson is that I cannot control him, his thoughts or actions and I cannot change him either. I have definately been the "chaser" and he is he runner. I have never in my life been so honest and vunerable with anyone, especially a married male! I can be my true self with him. Right now, I felt a shift in my heart and I know that I needed to stop chasing him. He needs space and time, just like he did before. He did come back, so I am hopeful that he will again. We are two minutes away from each other and I know he is at the school and he knows where I live.

It's been hard for me, as I feel abandoned, but that is my greatest fear and letting go is very hard for me. Sometimes, I am just not sure if I am just having a conversation with myself or if it is really him. I do feel a greater peace with my decision though.

Lol! I talked to mine like that for a solid 3 months! Like a crazy person... hahaha But I couldn't help it. It was as if I was pushed to purge everything via him. I cleared everything off my shelves and out of my drawers trying to rid myself of the pain. This was before I walked away completely so I was still talking to him occasionally. It was just as wonderful being "friends," we still had that connection of knowing one another better than anyone... But I couldn't handle the roller coaster after these innocent conversations and yet when I asked him what he wanted (to end things or not) he was unable to let me go. He was allowing me to have the space I needed and not abandoned me. Him not just disappearing was something we talked about prior to the end.

I think that was a big part of my healing though. I had never been able to walk away from anyone like that before, always hanging on until the very end. It took strength to look the man I loved more than anything and say "I'm worth more than this." A lesson he taught me actually because he saw more in me than I did.

He's a really good man. I know he took all the lessons he learned and tried to use them in his marriage. He always wanted to be a great partner. But I know he would have never stopped trying to be close to me and it would have drove him crazy. I'm pretty sure he won't ever leave her. Not until it starts to affect his kids or she leaves him. So I am stuck with this and now looking at if it's worth it to date someone your the foreseeable future.

I keep being told we are going to be together but now that most of my big healing has been worked through I'm feeling isolated and lonely. If I can find someone who can relate to me than I might be tempted to find a little happiness for the first time in years. Sigh