Thoughts

[Elfay]

My soul is restless... it needs to be set free. I am so confused, restless, feeling unaccomplished, unfinished. There is so much more to my life than what fits inside that little box they say is me.

I can't sit still tonight, my mind is wandering over and over, my feet won't allow me to sit, I feel as if I NEED to be some place yet I have no idea where. My thoughts are racing yet I know exactly what to say.

Where has the time gone? Where has it gone? I search for answers and I come up with all the same ones. I look around in amazement, knowing that all the answers of the universe are within me all I need to do is ask.

I want to cry, to laugh, to shout, to whisper, to heal, to love and to be loved. I want it all. I need it all yet I really only need very little. I won't and I can't accept what others do. I need to feel complete, yet I am.

The loose ends of life slowly come unraveled, pouring forth all that once was lost, not knowing what the future will bring. We sit and ponder it all. Pondering can be a good thing. A wise thing. Only pondering too long can make you seem like your procrastinating. Only you'er not, though they both begin with P. Procrastinating means postponing, putting it off, two more P words! Pondering means thinking the matter over, taking time to think about what needs to be done or what to say.

I'm losing my train of thought pondering too long... or was I procrastinating after all?

Words, words, lots and lots of words. Some make no sense, others make too much.

My soul is still restless, needing, wanting to be set free, yet the urge is not as strong as it was when I first began.

Writing sooths my restless spirit, calms the restlessness inside of me. Writing is my drink, my drug. Writing can either seduce me into saying more or saying less. I spill my inner self within my writing, I write to write, to calm the urge to escape. Escape this life that seems so boring, so monotinously unreal, yet its not, boring or monotinously unreal.

I wrote this about a year or so. Still quite fitting.