is reincarnation just another illusion to help us deal with nothingness?

[keokutah]

I don't know. I've been very doubtful and skeptical and analytical lately, but I just had a Past Life Entity Attachment that was clouding my mind, so I remembered the aweful lifetime I had with him and the terrible things I did to him. It was gay hillbilly incest and murder and I don't think I would ever want to imagine something as detailed and horrendous as that. I'm not even gay, so why would I imagine that in such clear detail?
I'm sure my mind can be weird, but not that weird. And after talking to him, you wouldn't believe the despair I felt, and if he wasn't real and the memories weren't real, then why would I feel such despair? And when I apologized to him, he just got mad, he was acting like a real boy, not like what you would expect a spirit to act like. He certainly did not forgive me right away and it was a huge ordeal to convince him to let go. And the feeling I felt after was more than enough to convince me that it was real, I just felt this huge weight lift off of me.
And this isn't the first time I've remembered very painful memories, and had to make ammends to them and deal with the consequences of my past actions in other lives, in this life. And I can guaruntee that doing so always makes me feel a lot better.
Even if it is all just in the mind, something about the process of letting go of those things still works. Why would I carry around the guilt of murdering someone, if I have never done it really? That just doesn't make sense. But either way, letting go of those memories truly does help psychologically and emotionally and mentally, so who cares if it's true spiritually.
Even my psychologist practices Part Work Integration and does the same sort of thing, but focusing on parts of yourself, and he too would say the same thing. It has benefits mentally and emotionally even if you don't believe in the spiritual aspect. But still, there's a lot of things that aren't easily explained by skeptics.
So many of my lives had details that I would not have known about, and once researching about it, I got proof. But most importantly, the memories! Why on earth would I occupy my spare time making up (painful) memories. I can understand someone making up memories that are good, but I just can't imagine the painful memories, and the intense grief and mourning it brings.
Remembering all the mistakes I made is not something I consider pleasant. So I really doubt it's my mind just making it all up. But then I guess, maybe... you never know.
A lot lately I've been questioning absolutely everything. I've been spiritual for many years. I still wonder if it's all just a delusion to deal with nothingness. I think that's the grand thing about life though. You never really know.
I think if it turns out all my spiritual beliefs are delusions, I would still believe them anyway because they do make life a lot better (yeah, even the painful memories once dealt with lead to personal improvement), so does it really matter in the end.