I am starting to believe that I am the "runner"

[PandoraGreen]

I'm not going to be much help here...as my situation is complicated.

The man and I who I believe is a soul connection of some sort have been talking for 10 months or so...and have only ever been separated with talking for 2 weeks max. I had to delete my email account recently...just to get some space and clarity. This is most likely seen as running...but as an addict almost...I needed to quit this cold turkey. He is getting involved with other people emotionally while emotionally being involved with me...and it's just not healthy for me to be around this. I don't trust myself to leave him alone, or not contact him back if he contacts me....so for now...this is what's best for me.

He isn't treating me right...and if I give him the window to "pop in" whenever he likes...there's no way either of us can grow...it's like having a pillow you know is there to catch your fall...remove the pillow...you are forced to stand on your own and fall on the hard ground should it happen. He needs that realization...and I do, too.

Will we talk in the future...I don't know. But "running" at the moment is what is best as "staying still" I'm unable to do. I have his information and when I FEEL the time is right...will reach out if I need, to. In the meantime I'm going to take a well deserved break from this and focus on me.

Trust your intuition...dont' question what feels right to YOU at this time.

[Liz614]

Originally Posted by taurusnsane

Well my runner twin is pursueing me like crazy. Its amazing how his role changed and mine also. So, when runner changes his behaviour, it shows that he is now brave enough to face his fear because he has no other option, it is forced on him if not voluntarily accepted.

I could have written this post! Runner twin really showing vulnerability to me and not wanting to live without me. This is a recent thing, it's taken him a few years to feel he could trust me this way. I think he is realizing, too, that he isn't in control of this, that we are destined to always love each other. He keeps saying things like "we obviously love each other dearly". He doesn't doubt my love for him anymore. That makes me happy. He's getting it, more and more all the time.

I do not know much about twin flames but I strongly relate to your "afraid of any social media presence". I'm in the exact same boat, I cry and break out in hives whenever I think about coming back on and seeing his account/anything that has to do with him on there. It's been about a year I've been off. Although I don't think\know if this guy was my TF, I've had an incredibly tough time letting the thought of him go. It's been a year now. I wish I knew why I was still so connected to the lost relationship. So I totally sympathize with you in every single way. I wish you luck and healing from the fear. Lord knows I need it too.