part of my story is pain

SearchingFreedom · #1 15-01-2019, 07:44 PM

Halo everyone with a twin flame connection :)

I want to share part of my story. The part of my story is my regular pain.

I do not want to develop in this thread typical characteristics of twin flame connections. But you know for sure on your own journey that if you are denied by a TWIN FLAME you can't just let go.

So our relationship developed fast, yet still i felt he does not take me completely as who i am or he does not give himself completely on to this idea of "us" being an "us".

So there where often rejectings or lack of empathy or lack of grooming by him. In this periods I suffered like hell. Due to some other illnesses I nearly felt the pain also physically in my brain. I just could not held my head up it was so down.

I could not speak to anybody, not realizing by feeling or soul that there are other persons too. Nobody could help me in this situations although I knew I would need to overcome my ego desires of his attention to stop suffering. I fighted and I prayed. I still had to go through this!

At the moment right now it seems ok with us, until the next crisis? I don't know I often got hope but the crises came back.

SearchingFreedom · #2 15-01-2019, 07:47 PM

I have to admit I still knew he was send to me from God. But I felt like this must be negative karma I have to go through. Often I felt he enjoyed making me suffer and developed paranoid ideas that he often speaks perfectly with love because he wants to catch me deeper to be able to hurt me deeper. This i thought because of the constant up and downs with us.

What I felt for him was still uncondicious love at some level but i wanted to be loved the other way too!