How do I figure out what I am resisting?

[Hanalei]

This guy who I suspect is my TF/SM/some type of strong soul connection/etc. is resisting being in a relationship with me, despite our strong connection, chemistry, and definite mutual attraction. As in, other people have noticed and agree with me, and it's not just in my head, apparently.

Long story short, in the beginning he was very open and flirty with me, and the more I started to return it, the more he started to withdraw and resist even though the connection became more and more painfully obvious to others. He says he doesn't have time to date anyone right now. I see him very frequently. We don't talk very often, but when we do, apparently we are pretty straightforward with each other.

I'm told that twins are mirrors of each other and that I have to heal myself first. My question is, how do I figure out what I'm resisting? In my mind I'm very much okay with the idea of being in a relationship with him. For a long time I was resisting being vulnerable with anyone and letting those walls down. But I broke through that recently. So how do I figure out if there's still something I'm resisting, or if I've broken through my own barriers and now it's just letting him catch up in his own time?

[selene]

Why do you feel you are resisting something? It could be that you are running away from something or that you are going after something and it won't let you accept what is already there? I know that the end result might as well be the same, but the phrasing does matter when you are trying to get to the root of a problem.

On the other hand, I'd avoid this idea of 'mirror' as a form of analysis or self-definition. It's beautiful when we find someone who understands us this well but our blockages/problems are not theirs and definitely not the other way around.

These may not be very practical responses for your problem at hand and that is to 'figure out what is going on' and heal it. From what I understand though, the only thing perhaps wrong with you is an emotional attachment to what seems to be a somewhat unavailable man, whose choice to be unavailable seems to be reactive to whether you pursue him or not... whoever he is though, his choice does not reflect who you are, your worth or your readiness to be in a romantic, committed relationship. You have a set of options going from this realization and I won't suggest unquestionably that you need to move on from him -it's a choice I myself (in some sort of similar to your position) have chosen not to make consciously. But I will suggest that you separate your effort to heal, grow and advance as a human being from the goal of being with him and nurturing your bond which will exist no matter what. So, all in all, if I have one advice for you, that is do your thing and let him catch up -if at all.

In any case, I think you will do great

[Awakened Queen]

Maybe you need to let go of trying to control his feelings and desires. Maybe he's not ready. Maybe he needs more time growing this connection. If it's going to happen, it will happen.

[Hanalei]

Originally Posted by alyanna

So, all in all, if I have one advice for you, that is do your thing and let him catch up -if at all.

Thank you, both, for the advice.

I guess I just figured that because it bothers me so much, maybe it's because he's reflecting something back to me that is internal and I'm just projecting it onto him? I have no clue, I'm new to this whole twin flame idea and readily admit I know next to nothing about it. This is the label that people have given this connection (those who have heard the full story) and when I research it, it does seem to fit surprisingly well.

I'm not trying to control his feelings - in fact I've backed off 110% since our last conversation - but rather, before, I was just trying to encourage what was already plainly there. I was just wondering if perhaps it was something in ME that was repelling him, rather than the other way around like I thought.

I don't know if I'm making any sense.

[Awakened Queen]

I'm with Alyanna on this one, keep on doing you, opening your heart, raising your vibration, and the right person (maybe it's him) will flow into your life naturally.

[MissTetley]

Hi Hanalei,
In my experience with this, you won't have to actively, consciously or deliberately do anything to change yourself or find the reasons why something is happening or not happening.
You will be lead through this and when you find yourself dealing with something or some past experience is recalled strongly enough to register something within you again this will be what you've been brought to, to work through but even that phrase, working through, is not always going to mean you get involved in anything difficult, although the feelings might bring out strong emotions to deal with, once you've purged that by reliving it emotionally you will find yourself changing little by little.

When you look back you will see how you've changed.

Also we may often think we have got a handle on something or got something sorted within us, made peace with it etc but our guides know the truth and with their help we will progress through the things and experiences we need to, to change, purge whatever needs purging, let go of being affected by what others think etc.

This is your path, your experiences brought you to this particular spot on your path and you will be helped and supported by your guides and spirit team to move forward.

It's a bit like moving out of the driving seat, letting the car seemingly drive itself knowing it won't hurt you but will take you where you need to be.

My advice would be not to focus on what he's feeling or going through or why he's behaving in any particular way. What he's experiencing will be his own form of processing this led by his guides and spirit team.
This spirit team will be working for both of you if you're twin souls.

So let that go for now and live your life, it's the only way forward.

Originally Posted by Hanalei

This guy who I suspect is my TF/SM/some type of strong soul connection/etc. is resisting being in a relationship with me, despite our strong connection, chemistry, and definite mutual attraction.

These are qualities you are ascribing to this relationship. What does he think?

As in, other people have noticed and agree with me, and it's not just in my head, apparently.

Are you sure they aren't just saying what they think you want to hear?

Long story short, in the beginning he was very open and flirty with me, and the more I started to return it, the more he started to withdraw and resist even though the connection became more and more painfully obvious to others. He says he doesn't have time to date anyone right now. I see him very frequently. We don't talk very often, but when we do, apparently we are pretty straightforward with each other.

Can I ask what makes you think it's a twin flame or that there is a soul connection? It's very easy and romantic to believe this when things seem right on the first few dates / flirts. Are you sure it isn't girl-meets-boy who happen to be attracted to each other but the flirting, being the chance it is to set the preliminary ground for dating etc, has made him decide you probably aren't the one for him?

I'm told that twins are mirrors of each other and that I have to heal myself first. My question is, how do I figure out what I'm resisting? In my mind I'm very much okay with the idea of being in a relationship with him. For a long time I was resisting being vulnerable with anyone and letting those walls down. But I broke through that recently. So how do I figure out if there's still something I'm resisting, or if I've broken through my own barriers and now it's just letting him catch up in his own time?

Do you want an honest opinion? I'll give it anyway and you can disregard it if you like. I'm guessing the only thing you're resisting is the truth. Twin flames come with a lot of small print about possession, obsession, divine plans and other mysterious stuff. It also seems to engender selfishness. It leads people to believe stuff that may not be true of the other person. It's nice when you really are soul mates with someone because it comes unconditionally. But he doesn't seem responsive. Might be best to limit time you bother to spend on this. Regard him as a date that hasn't worked out.

Honestly, you can have all the mirrors you like, all the partial souls awaiting completion and divine plans - but if the guy really isn't interested, he isn't interested. Since sometimes pursuing a guy could be interpreted as over-assertive, chasing may force him to put barriers up.

I could be wrong but it behoves you to think this through carefully - for yourself and wellbeing. I hope, whatever the outcome that you resolve it peacefully.

...

[Akira]

Originally Posted by Hanalei

Thank you, both, for the advice.

I guess I just figured that because it bothers me so much, maybe it's because he's reflecting something back to me that is internal and I'm just projecting it onto him? I have no clue, I'm new to this whole twin flame idea and readily admit I know next to nothing about it. This is the label that people have given this connection (those who have heard the full story) and when I research it, it does seem to fit surprisingly well.

I'm not trying to control his feelings - in fact I've backed off 110% since our last conversation - but rather, before, I was just trying to encourage what was already plainly there. I was just wondering if perhaps it was something in ME that was repelling him, rather than the other way around like I thought.

I don't know if I'm making any sense.

Hi Hanalei

The best way to deal with this is to let go of any expectations. Plus in some way the labels do not help. When we are busy looking for TF/SM we might miss the person that is the right person. Of course we might also choose someone who is another wrong person, but that is what this life is for it's for learning. Small steps will take you to where you need to be.

Also if you are repelling him you are meant to be repelling him. This is a life school and we are here to learn specific things. My twin and I had twenty years apart before we could be together. We do not direct this, source directs this. Both parties have to be ready to be together, also this would have been agreed before you incarnated. So, although you might feel a feeling for someone if they are not meant to be with you until you have learnt x,y,z, then they won't be with you till the lessons are learnt.

It's can be tough because the Human Family is very resistant and it has created ideas we ride and use as a barometer to understand moving forward. However these ideas we have are illusory and people do not work in neat ways that follow the dictates of mankind. We are souls experiencing a chance to be our best selves and only once mastered can we continuously and harmoniously entertain a relationship with a divine counterpart.

Lotsa luck
Akira

[Hanalei]

Thank you all for the advice! I really appreciate it. :)