death of a soulmate

[hineahuone]

Do you feel when someone significant passes away? Early hours of the morning, I woke up and tossed and turned and could not get back to sleep for a while. Later the same day I got a phone call from my mother in law and she was crying and I knew who had passed on.

So she confirmed that her eldest son and father of my daughter had passed away. I cried with her and told her I was sorry for her loss. I did not immediately feel that I had also lost someone as I have been seperated from him for 27 years. He was only 52 years old and we dont know how he died yet, but I suspect foul play as he was involved in criminal activity.

While I am sad, I also felt that something was released from me as he told me that I would never find a love like him again. Well I did find a love like him, he is my twinflame and shares a birthday with this ex. He also looks a lot like him.

So wondering if my ex was my karmic soulmate and have I been released from my bond with him now he is dead? I had forgiven him for the way he treated me but I also felt that he had cursed me for leaving him and that it was preventing me from moving forward in my life.

Today another soulmate made contact and I resisted his advances. I told him I need a friend today, not a lover so he backed off. So much for friendship huh? My twin is ignoring me at the moment just to make things harder. I am not feeling sorry for myself though, strangely enough.

I am going to find a photo of my ex and light a candle for him tonight. He was a shady character but I did love him once upon a time.

I understand these feelings, yes. On the one hand I feel they are a failing on my part, a tint of selfishness at the loss - but that doesn't prevent someone helping a lost one to move on, help them on their way, small ceremonies, words of hope, a small sacrifice. I know that they will be well looked after beyond but that doesn't stop the bleakness of loss of someone very dear to me.

...

[selene]

I am sorry for your loss and for your ex husband's loved ones. I hope he finds peace where he is.

Yes, I think it's possible that you felt something shifting around his death. I have too from time to time, whenever I was present enough to feel it.

Regarding the karmic bond, I would not know. I believe though that when a soul moves to another realm, what happened in the physical is insignificant. The soul knowledge goes so beyond that, so even if the 'karma' exists, it does not have a bearing on the physical realm...

to you. Lighting a candle is beautiful.

[hineahuone]

Originally Posted by alyanna

I am sorry for your loss and for your ex husband's loved ones. I hope he finds peace where he is.

Yes, I think it's possible that you felt something shifting around his death. I have too from time to time, whenever I was present enough to feel it.

Regarding the karmic bond, I would not know. I believe though that when a soul moves to another realm, what happened in the physical is insignificant. The soul knowledge goes so beyond that, so even if the 'karma' exists, it does not have a bearing on the physical realm...

to you. Lighting a candle is beautiful.

thanks so much. I found an old photo of us and another friend who also passed on a few years ago, so I have put that in a frame. I have Charlies Angels 80s hair in that photo it is quite hilarious. It was my birthday and I am holding a bunch of red and yellow roses.

I never married him, but tonight I was looking through my old letters from him and he asked me to marry him 9 months after we met.
I also found a letter dated 30 September 1980 where he said he would always love me even when we eventually seperated, so he made a self fulfilling prophecy as we split exactly nine years later. It is 1st October here in NZ but I think he died yesterday on the 30th September in Australia.

That letter is in a blue envelope and the stamps have red and yellow roses on them. Those are the twin flame colours.
I also found a card I sent him it is red sunset scene, of a couple holding hands at the beach. So much meaning in these silly old keepsakes.

[hineahuone]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

I understand these feelings, yes. On the one hand I feel they are a failing on my part, a tint of selfishness at the loss - but that doesn't prevent someone helping a lost one to move on, help them on their way, small ceremonies, words of hope, a small sacrifice. I know that they will be well looked after beyond but that doesn't stop the bleakness of loss of someone very dear to me.

...

Just to carry on from the above post..
I just wrapped his old love letters with a red ribbon and placed them on the altar with the photo and candle. I placed a rose quartz crystal and tigers eye on top of them. I felt a sharp pang in my heart as I was doing that. I am grateful for this messageboard tonight as I am feeling a lot of deja vu.

[selene]

it's so beautiful that you focus on the love you two shared. What I receive from you is healing and forgiveness and absolute sweetness. I am sure it is what he wants too.

[hineahuone]

Originally Posted by alyanna

it's so beautiful that you focus on the love you two shared. What I receive from you is healing and forgiveness and absolute sweetness. I am sure it is what he wants too.

Yes I am sending him healing love as he is transitioning. In my culture the soul travels to Hawaiki. Before they depart they turn one last time to farewell their loved ones, so I am expecting a visit from him tonight.

Here is my message for him

Haere atu ra e te tau o take ate.
Safe journey, love of my life.

[selene]

So sweet :). I love this image of the person turning around one last time for a farewell on their way out to Hawaiki.

In my culture, my grandmother used to say, the soul wonders for 40 days to all the places they have been to on earth and they visit everyone they have ever met to say their goodbyes. Then, they move on.

[hineahuone]

Originally Posted by alyanna

So sweet :). I love this image of the person turning around one last time for a farewell on their way out to Hawaiki.

In my culture, my grandmother used to say, the soul wonders for 40 days to all the places they have been to on earth and they visit everyone they have ever met to say their goodbyes. Then, they move on.

I have just googled a bunch of facts about the number 40 and it is fascinating...

The number forty also had great symbolic meaning to the Jews and today among Christians and Muslims as well. The number forty to the Jews is a number that, when used in terms of time, represents a period of probation, trial, and chastisement (not to be confused with judgment which is represented by the number 9).

BTW my twin is 40 years old.

[selene]

And it is :40 as I read it