How to let go?

[cc_nami]

I'm learning to read tarot cards and my teacher told me to do something at home. She said breathe deeply in, then push your breathe out through your hands and through your feet and crown chakra. She told me to keep doing that while closing my eyes in a dark room and try to see a triangle. She said once I see the triangle it would open me up.

Well the first night I tried this and at first I didn't see anything but then I saw an upside down triangle coming towards me and I all of a sudden felt afraid. The first thing I thought of was my mother. I had this fear as a child that I would become my mother when I grew up. I was afraid I would turn crazy like her. I hadn't thought about this in a long time but it came up and I don't think I've ever been so afraid in my life. Now whenever I have the opportunity to do it, I just feel too tired to try but I think deep down inside I'm scared.

Part of feels like I can't do it no matter how hard I try, like it won't work or I'm doing it wrong, and part of me is scared of what will happen. So what do I do? Should I just try again and see what happens? And what does happen if anyone knows?

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by cc_nami

I'm learning to read tarot cards and my teacher told me to do something at home. She said breathe deeply in, then push your breathe out through your hands and through your feet and crown chakra. She told me to keep doing that while closing my eyes in a dark room and try to see a triangle. She said once I see the triangle it would open me up.

Well the first night I tried this and at first I didn't see anything but then I saw an upside down triangle coming towards me and I all of a sudden felt afraid. The first thing I thought of was my mother. I had this fear as a child that I would become my mother when I grew up. I was afraid I would turn crazy like her. I hadn't thought about this in a long time but it came up and I don't think I've ever been so afraid in my life. Now whenever I have the opportunity to do it, I just feel too tired to try but I think deep down inside I'm scared.

Part of feels like I can't do it no matter how hard I try, like it won't work or I'm doing it wrong, and part of me is scared of what will happen. So what do I do? Should I just try again and see what happens? And what does happen if anyone knows?

The best thing to do would be to go back and see your teacher and tell her what has been happening to you.

Your teacher has suggested this method to you for a reason, which is beyond my understanding as to why, so anything that crops up as a result, should be dealt with by the person who instructed you in the first place.

All I can say is that letting go is perhaps the most scary thing that anybody can do, because of all the attachments we have, that we are proud of and that makes us who we believe ourselves to be.

This is the whole reason why 99.9% of spiritual aspirants get 'stuck' at one point or another, yet when I suggest "let go" they say "I can't" and then whine more about why they are not getting anywhere...

I also have reached the realisation that not everybody (practically nobody) is cut out for this, no matter how much they say they are. It always confuses me as to why the universe will show such people a 'glimpse' of it...enough to get them interested enough to say they are 'spiritual' and they are 'seeking enlightenment', but that's about as far as it ever goes...I wonder why the universe showed them this option in the first place if they are not prepared in any way to explore it?...but I am rambling on.

[ParchedStarfish]

Definitely there is a reason that your teacher is proposing that, I personally think though that putting that goal of seeing the triangle will open you up is somewhat of a double negative.. meaning that it can make you even more afraid or actually open up. There's always more than 2 sides of the story too, it's your choice how this whole meditation thing affects you too.

I do agree that letting go is insanely scary but it can happen with a little bit of work and willingness.

In this case though it sounds like it did scare you, but at the same time not sure if you realise, you found out what you were afraid of, right?

One thing I've learned while meditating is that my fears will not go away until I address them and work with them by asking myself how actually necessary they are to my life, whether or not they are true and whether or not they are positive. Just of one my things though.

I would also suggest if you believe or know about chakras or the merkabah that you could check out that info and see how it resonates with you, there's a ton of meditations and stuff on youtube even for this kind of stuff too ;)

Hope all goes well with the rest of your meditating if you choose to!

[sea-dove]

I had this fear as a child that I would become my mother when I grew up. I was afraid I would turn crazy like her."

Maybe you'd benefit from seeing a counsellor over this fear.

[anthony c]

Originally Posted by cc_nami

I'm learning to read tarot cards and my teacher told me to do something at home. She said breathe deeply in, then push your breathe out through your hands and through your feet and crown chakra. She told me to keep doing that while closing my eyes in a dark room and try to see a triangle. She said once I see the triangle it would open me up.

Well the first night I tried this and at first I didn't see anything but then I saw an upside down triangle coming towards me and I all of a sudden felt afraid. The first thing I thought of was my mother. I had this fear as a child that I would become my mother when I grew up. I was afraid I would turn crazy like her. I hadn't thought about this in a long time but it came up and I don't think I've ever been so afraid in my life. Now whenever I have the opportunity to do it, I just feel too tired to try but I think deep down inside I'm scared.

Part of feels like I can't do it no matter how hard I try, like it won't work or I'm doing it wrong, and part of me is scared of what will happen. So what do I do? Should I just try again and see what happens? And what does happen if anyone knows?

Hi cc_nami

I can only guess that it opens up channels but the triangle i am not sure of but if you look at the image/symbol of third eye chakra it has an upside down triangle so you might have open/activated your third eye and maybe the crown too.

I agree ask you teacher and let us know as i am also interested what the technique is about.

[anthony c]

Actually allot of the chakra's have the upside down triangle in also but there are other stuff too, so just a guess :)