The rollercoaster

[Red Scorpion]

As a child I remember looking up at the sky and feeling like I was falling. Not down but up. I remember never really feeling like I belong here. I'm a natural artist and was never taught to draw, just something that came naturally. I'm 30 now and my dad still has a drawing of a Cherokee chief sitting by a fire, with a mountain scene behind him, that I drew when I was 6. Doesn't look like a six year old did it for sure. Although, I made friends with mostly everyone I never felt like I belonged. I grew up rebellious and in and out of trouble. Nothing too major all misdemeanor stuff. I always had this feeling inside of me tho. For instance, I'll jump to 2012, my current girlfriend and I got together in late 2011, and have two sons together now. But when we first got together I told her that I was meant for something more although I don't know what it is yet, and said to her that one day I was supposed to get a tattoo that says "Post Tenebras Lux" Latin for (after darkness, Light). I have love tattooed on my left hand fingers and everyone always says where is hate on my right hand fingers. And I always laugh, because it was never supposed to be that.. The right is supposed to say true, when I'm ready for it. I can't even explain where some of this stuff comes from..

I've always slept walked and did weird things like that all my life. I've been able to lucid dream, and during a nightmare I've always been able to wake myself up. ( although that part is hard and a little uncomfortable).

I used to scare my girlfriend a little when we first got together. From my sleep walking ... I would just stand in the middle of the room eyes wide open but I was asleep. I've actually woke up like that a few times from my back hurting from standing there so long.. I don't do that all of the time it's like I go thru phases..

I and my son's sweat very badly in our sleep and all of us end up looking like we are going to break our necks from having our heads cocked back so far.

Not to mention both of my son's kept their mother on the verge of dying the entire pregnancies, the doctors said she was the worst case they have ever seen and the nurses picked at us and said they were going to name a room after her. But she made it thru both and we have some beautiful blonde hair and bright blue eyed boys.

I'm starting to realize some things now. Doing my own experiments, and realize that I've been hurting myself thru out my life from not knowing.. A lot of the emotions I've felt in my life weren't even mine, I was picking them up from others and mistaking them for my own.

I've never really let many people close to me, and always been able to see right thru people.

Lately I've felt an immense energy change, and I am being taught things in my sleep but I'll forget them as soon as I wake up.. I've seen 11:11 for the past year, and now I'm starting to see 12:34 or 1:23 etc. Lately.

I go places in my dreams that I can't even attempt to put into words. All I can really say is it is beautiful.

There's a whole lot more going on, but I just wanted to put this out there.

Is anyone experiencing the same or similar?

Does anyone know what I'm talking about when I say ISIS is being unveiled?

Let me know what's on your mind thanks.