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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #11  
Old 31-03-2012, 05:17 PM
Autums_Moon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKEST_HOUR
Can you describe what you mean when you say "he's just gone" ? Like is he not in your head anymore of what? And how long have you been separated? In my situation she's still in the back of my head, but I'm mostly over the grieving part. Kind of like I got used to the fact that shes there, and someday I'm assuming it won't be there anymore or something. I don know I guess it's just my ego since I'm quite frankly fed up with everything. Just the other day I was asking myself what would I do if she called me out of the blue and told me she wanted to see me?? In a way im kind of scared of seeing her because I don't know what to expect and I don't even know if I'm ready.....Everything just feels ruined cause of this separation, does anybody else feel this way?

Your question, if anyone else feels this way, for me YES. Recently I've been thinking what I would do or how I would react if I finally met him. The scene plays out in mind in so many ways: I'm in tears, afraid, unsure of how to react or possibly run away. Sometimes I think he'll recognize me and stop me before I run away, telling me hes scared to but its time. We can learn this, get through it together. I don't know, I want to have in my life so bad, to have him physically here so my mind will be satisfied in knowing yes he is real, though my heart and soul has always known. He's been at the back of my mind too. Last night, I was in so much tears, out of nowhere. I felt a reiki symbol though. its faint outline in my mind, so strongly. It felt like someone was using it on me. I don't know the symbols so I cant really use them, but It felt as if someone was using it on me. It struck my core and I couldn't stop crying. I kept wondering if it was him, but I'll never really know. Its another experience I should write down, but never do in the end.
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  #12  
Old 31-03-2012, 05:33 PM
TouchingHeart
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKEST_HOUR
Can you describe what you mean when you say "he's just gone" ? Like is he not in your head anymore of what? And how long have you been separated? In my situation she's still in the back of my head, but I'm mostly over the grieving part. Kind of like I got used to the fact that shes there, and someday I'm assuming it won't be there anymore or something. I don know I guess it's just my ego since I'm quite frankly fed up with everything. Just the other day I was asking myself what would I do if she called me out of the blue and told me she wanted to see me?? In a way im kind of scared of seeing her because I don't know what to expect and I don't even know if I'm ready.....Everything just feels ruined cause of this separation, does anybody else feel this way?

That's exactly how I feel. The grieving is gone, thank goodness, but he's always there in the back of my mind. He may not be the first thing I think about when I wake up, but give it time, it eventually comes as maybe the
3rd or 4th thing that comes to mind. I also assume some day it won't be there any longer. Part of my fear is if I let go he will go completely from my mind, thus no interest in him if he comes back.....dunno if that is fear ego or not. Maybe I haven't surrendered enough to it.

I too am scared to see him only because I know how he is, in that he has no idea how to explain to me what he's been going through. I am told he misses me but can't bring himself to make contact and explain. He has lots of fear he needs to work on. I think my fear of talking to him is just his reflection of his fear bouncing back and forth. I am ready to talk to him, even as just a friend, and I have opened the door for him to do make the effort, but he won't walk through it.
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  #13  
Old 31-03-2012, 05:56 PM
imabeliever
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShiningStar
That's exactly how I feel. The grieving is gone, thank goodness, but he's always there in the back of my mind. He may not be the first thing I think about when I wake up, but give it time, it eventually comes as maybe the
3rd or 4th thing that comes to mind. I also assume some day it won't be there any longer. Part of my fear is if I let go he will go completely from my mind, thus no interest in him if he comes back.....dunno if that is fear ego or not. Maybe I haven't surrendered enough to it.

I too am scared to see him only because I know how he is, in that he has no idea how to explain to me what he's been going through. I am told he misses me but can't bring himself to make contact and explain. He has lots of fear he needs to work on. I think my fear of talking to him is just his reflection of his fear bouncing back and forth. I am ready to talk to him, even as just a friend, and I have opened the door for him to do make the effort, but he won't walk through it.


ShiningStar.....................i truly relate to what you have written here...most especially the last line. I can feel that i am nearing the point of trying to phone him. Have you considered calling?
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  #14  
Old 31-03-2012, 06:40 PM
TouchingHeart
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I have reached out to him with an email last fall but only got a couple of lines back from him casually telling me how busy he is with work, and then when I suggested we get together for drinks or coffee he didn't reply. Then on New Year's I sent a text wishing him a happy new year with no reply. If it wasn't for the fact one of his family members told me how he has become a hermit so to speak and has talked about me, I would think he's just not into me. I feel there's nothing I can do. I have extended the olive branch, but he won't accept it. So I feel because nothing has happened, we're both still learning whatever lessons that need learning and the universe will decide when it's right. Yes, I want to phone him or text him, but how much is enough if he still is too afraid to reply? And then once again my ego gets bruised if there's no response......I'm working on that one :p
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  #15  
Old 31-03-2012, 06:46 PM
imabeliever
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShiningStar
I have reached out to him with an email last fall but only got a couple of lines back from him casually telling me how busy he is with work, and then when I suggested we get together for drinks or coffee he didn't reply. Then on New Year's I sent a text wishing him a happy new year with no reply. If it wasn't for the fact one of his family members told me how he has become a hermit so to speak and has talked about me, I would think he's just not into me. I feel there's nothing I can do. I have extended the olive branch, but he won't accept it. So I feel because nothing has happened, we're both still learning whatever lessons that need learning and the universe will decide when it's right. Yes, I want to phone him or text him, but how much is enough if he still is too afraid to reply? And then once again my ego gets bruised if there's no response......I'm working on that one :p


I truly understand seem to be in that same place now.
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  #16  
Old 31-03-2012, 07:05 PM
TouchingHeart
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Thanks for the hugs! When is the last contact you had and why do you want to reach out?
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  #17  
Old 31-03-2012, 07:25 PM
imabeliever
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShiningStar
Thanks for the hugs! When is the last contact you had and why do you want to reach out?

last contact was a chat on fb at the end of august.......it did not go well.....he was to come see me the next day and it didn't happen....i then sent a pm via fb whereupon i did a bit of soul purging;( this was all before i realized i was awakening and that we had a soul connection......this i discovered during this separation. I have sent emails/messages......even tried phoning a few months back (always went to voicemail) No replies from him. I want to to talk to him to clear the air between us now that my ego is not in charge. I want my friend back, i miss him terribly. I have learned alot over the past 8 mos. And i have genuine concern for him because he is going through alot of issues and i feel i should be there for him. I think its a combination of him running/ me running and the universe deciding we needed to get our **** together. I feel i am in a good place right now to make contact, i am just not sure he is.
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  #18  
Old 31-03-2012, 08:17 PM
TouchingHeart
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by imabeliever
last contact was a chat on fb at the end of august.......it did not go well.....he was to come see me the next day and it didn't happen....i then sent a pm via fb whereupon i did a bit of soul purging;( this was all before i realized i was awakening and that we had a soul connection......this i discovered during this separation. I have sent emails/messages......even tried phoning a few months back (always went to voicemail) No replies from him. I want to to talk to him to clear the air between us now that my ego is not in charge. I want my friend back, i miss him terribly. I have learned alot over the past 8 mos. And i have genuine concern for him because he is going through alot of issues and i feel i should be there for him. I think its a combination of him running/ me running and the universe deciding we needed to get our **** together. I feel i am in a good place right now to make contact, i am just not sure he is.

I see a lot of similiarity in what you're going through.....thank goodness for these forums, huh? But then again, maybe reading about everybody has slowed us down too??? I remember reading a thread about that. I don't care, it has really helped me a lot to read other people going through the same stuff, it makes you feel not so alone and that there are answers out there.

I know what you're saying about his issues and being genuinely concerned. I know when he and I were together he had talked that in his past he wanted to end his life at times. So in that respect I worry about him, and if something did happen to him I would never forgive myself for not trying harder to get him to talk to me, but some things you've got to have faith that the universe knows what they're doing and that's what I'm holding onto. I gotta believe that it doesn't want me to go down that road again with him until he's got his **** together, the most important thing, that he at least love himself.

I hope you figure out your next step and really listen to yourself. You'll know what to do, I have faith.
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  #19  
Old 31-03-2012, 08:44 PM
imabeliever
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShiningStar
I see a lot of similiarity in what you're going through.....thank goodness for these forums, huh? But then again, maybe reading about everybody has slowed us down too??? I remember reading a thread about that. I don't care, it has really helped me a lot to read other people going through the same stuff, it makes you feel not so alone and that there are answers out there.

I know what you're saying about his issues and being genuinely concerned. I know when he and I were together he had talked that in his past he wanted to end his life at times. So in that respect I worry about him, and if something did happen to him I would never forgive myself for not trying harder to get him to talk to me, but some things you've got to have faith that the universe knows what they're doing and that's what I'm holding onto. I gotta believe that it doesn't want me to go down that road again with him until he's got his **** together, the most important thing, that he at least love himself.

I hope you figure out your next step and really listen to yourself. You'll know what to do, I have faith.

thank you shiningstar, you are very kind and i wish the same for you
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  #20  
Old 31-03-2012, 08:49 PM
Enigmatic
Posts: n/a
 
SerpentQueen's post is incredibly insightful and helpful - I believe we are being pulled back to self, plus the retrograde it forcing all the last minute stuff to the surface and/or halting motion... whatever is needed.

There are huge things going on in the world right now, and if you and your TF have manifested in the physical during this time, you both have a chance to be part of the change that's coming.

As difficult as it can be, try to breathe, step back and trust that whatever is happening is for a very good reason. The more you try and flow with the motions, the easier it is to remain within divine love along the way.
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