What should I do?

[Lollypoppet]

I didnt know if this is the right place to post this, but i'll try anyway...

A couple of years ago I met the love of my life, I have never been more in love with someone than him, we were friends for a while, and then somewhere, along the way, something clicked and we both fell for each other. The fact that we were friends made such a solid foundation, but that said even as friends he would always try and 'fix' me, and we always argued as friends, mostly because we cared so much for each other, and I always ended up crying.

However, this was shortly lived as things happened, both of our faults, and a lot of arguments arose and he ended up cheating on me. I was so beyond devastated, I lost myself, and was like a shell of a person...Since then i've learnt alot and grown up. I loved him so much, that I forgave him days after he told me...But I could never forget how hurt I was by someone who was my friend and my lover, someone I fell really for. We spoke not long after and he did apologise, and I thought that was the end of that and have been living happily since.

Weirdly enough, I was listening to a guided spiritual healing meditation before bed, that is suppose to help clear any blocks and patterns from lives and past lives. The next day I woke up to what was a novel of an apology, and I was spooked...especially as a month ago or so that I was going through my laptop and found pictures of us that I thought I deleted. He was doing something similar and found messages and had to apologise again, but this time it seemed more deep of an apology to the point where he was so shocked by the way he treated me, that he can barely forgive himself.

I told him I always forgave him, and he suggested that we should be friends. I dont believe we are the same people from two years ago, and I told him if i am friends with someone, I dont want it to be a case where they pop up and say hi for the sake of it, i want friends who are active in my life. Since then I have made two attempts to talk to him and put effort in...But I dont know if it's worth being friends at all?

I found the whole thing strange, and thought it might be what some say 'synchronicity'? I feel very confused as to whether he should be in my life or not. It made it even more confusing when he said we should see what should happen between us. A thought that never crossed my mind until then.

I truly feel that if a person wants to be in your life then they will be...And I also believe if two people are meant to be together, the universe will create all situations for that to happen. But I just dont know. I even asked him if he meant it about being in my life, not just saying it for the sake of it and he said 'I wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true'.

I'm getting frustated and dont know what to do All advice would be so gratefully appreciated!

[kris]

Originally Posted by Lollypoppet

I'm getting frustrated and don't know what to do

When we don't know what to do, one option is not to do anything. Waiting isn't bad in matters of love and relationships. Forcing a situation could be worse.

Originally Posted by Lollypoppet

he would always try and 'fix' me, and we always argued as friends, mostly because we cared so much for each other, and I always ended up crying.

I think you should give some thought to why you always ended up crying. Does he like to be in charge and in control?

Originally Posted by Lollypoppet

and a lot of arguments arose and he ended up cheating on me.

Arguments don't leading to cheating. Perhaps there is something more here.

[Lollypoppet]

Originally Posted by kris

When we don't know what to do, one option is not to do anything. Waiting isn't bad in matters of love and relationships. Forcing a situation could be worse.I think you should give some thought to why you always ended up crying. Does he like to be in charge and in control?Arguments don't leading to cheating. Perhaps there is something more here.

I think maybe you're right about waiting or not doing anything lol. I deffinitely will not force it. But it was all sorts of stupid things that were going on at the time, we're not the same people from two years ago, we were both younger. But he wasn't controlling or anything.

All I will say is trust in spirit and the universe, I have found it works in strange ways but if it has love is behind it we all will come out as winners. Follow your heart and always keep an eye out for signs.
Wish you all the best as these decisions are never easy.

This is always so difficult because without considerable experience of your spiritual life, it's difficult to determine whether

a) you should wait because if it's meant to come right it will in the end - it may not;

b) whether forgiving someone is giving them a license to repeat the same misdemeanour;

c) whether a broken relationship can be patched up and carried forward (may be possible if you're both of a mind to compromise, ask rather than demand, grow together but still grant each other time and space to follow whatever you like to do outside the relationship);

d) whether it would be worth taking measures to disentangle yourself from the relationship (which you haven't done even though it now exists only as a figment);

e) are you prepared to set out "rules" that both of you will keep to?

f) do you have enough differences to keep life interesting for you both?

What are your expectations? Friends require sincerity, honesty and a willingness to support; a willingness to work to the same rules. You need to think of these and probably lots of other things for the good of your soul, before pre-committing to a relationship or trying to resuscitate an old one.

Not to worry too much about synchronicity - it was once a great relationship - you shared many things together so there'll be a certain nostalgia.

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