Suppressing vs Allowing feeling for TF in

[FairyCrystal]

I always notice a huge difference in how I feel about and toward my TF depending on whether I'm about to see him again or whether that will be another month.
When I know I won't see him for 4-6 weeks, my feelings seem to be less intense, and I'm also more prone to doubt and fear.
But when I'm about to see him again, my feelings for him come back full force and flood me like a tidal wave. A very pleasant one.
I will see him 3 days from now, and boy oh boy do I suddenly long to be with him! I can feel my heart chakra, solar plexus too. The feeling of needing his arms around me, feeling him against me, is so strong! A sense of needing to be home again, absorb his energy, merge.

I haven't felt this strong about him in weeks and I'm wondering how much I suppress my feelings for him when we're not together. And at the same time wondering if this is really the right way to go about it.
I actually think you should always feel that strong love, but then there's the problem that it is rather difficult to deal with the longing that comes with it when you know you're not going to be together for some time.
Yet, I do think that's the idea, to learn to feel that love, longing too if that happens, so you remain on that vibration of love.
I'm not sure I can

I am thrilled to feel this way again though because last time he came over I didn't. Things have been a bit difficult of late, at least for me, with all the strong energies, and I have been caught in a web of doubt and fear since the beginning of September. I think I've finally gotten out of that, and bang! There's the intense feeling of love again.

Anywho, I'm wondering if this allowing, suppressing, allowing, suppressing of feelings for your TF isn't what causes much of the upheaval? It costs energy, and I've noticed fear and doubt creep in far more easily when I'm suppressing my feelings.
I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt when I allow them, as if suppressing is going to protect me from that! Not!

How do you deal with this? Can you allow it in? I think you need to be in a place of trust for that. Sigh. That's still difficult for me, hihi

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

I always notice a huge difference in how I feel about and toward my TF depending on whether I'm about to see him again or whether that will be another month.
When I know I won't see him for 4-6 weeks, my feelings seem to be less intense, and I'm also more prone to doubt and fear.
But when I'm about to see him again, my feelings for him come back full force and flood me like a tidal wave. A very pleasant one.
I will see him 3 days from now, and boy oh boy do I suddenly long to be with him! I can feel my heart chakra, solar plexus too. The feeling of needing his arms around me, feeling him against me, is so strong! A sense of needing to be home again, absorb his energy, merge.

I haven't felt this strong about him in weeks and I'm wondering how much I suppress my feelings for him when we're not together. And at the same time wondering if this is really the right way to go about it.
I actually think you should always feel that strong love, but then there's the problem that it is rather difficult to deal with the longing that comes with it when you know you're not going to be together for some time.
Yet, I do think that's the idea, to learn to feel that love, longing too if that happens, so you remain on that vibration of love.
I'm not sure I can

I am thrilled to feel this way again though because last time he came over I didn't. Things have been a bit difficult of late, at least for me, with all the strong energies, and I have been caught in a web of doubt and fear since the beginning of September. I think I've finally gotten out of that, and bang! There's the intense feeling of love again.

Anywho, I'm wondering if this allowing, suppressing, allowing, suppressing of feelings for your TF isn't what causes much of the upheaval? It costs energy, and I've noticed fear and doubt creep in far more easily when I'm suppressing my feelings.
I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt when I allow them, as if suppressing is going to protect me from that! Not!

How do you deal with this? Can you allow it in? I think you need to be in a place of trust for that. Sigh. That's still difficult for me, hihi

I'm actually the opposite. The intense love and longing for him occurs when I don't see him for a month or two, even when we don't talk on the phone. When I'm going to see him now, it's settled into just being glad to see him. When he first came back in my life knowing I was going to see him was just like when we were young, I was so excited and happy - I couldn't wait. That's faded now.

I have not actually seen him or talked on the phone with him in about 5 weeks. We do text but even that is less now that he's in a relationship.
He's my best friend and I love him, so I just miss him in my daily life.

Yesterday and this morning I have that longing to just talk to him. Yet if I text him it's a quick texting conversation and leaves me feeling worse, longing for even more. I am working hard on not contacting him as much and letting him start doing some of the work. He's a little dense sometimes so we'll see if he even notices, lol.

I guess because I now know he's in a relationship with someone else I am trying hard to suppress these feelings. They are there and come up, but I'm concentrating on good things happening in my own life, pouring energy into those things, traveling and trying to put him in the background more.

Even as a friend I just wish we could be in more constant contact. I just miss the **** out of my friend.

As for suppressing and allowing, yes if we do allow we are risking getting hurt, but if we don't take some risks then we're not really living fully. That's my theory.

But do you actually suppress them? You say "my feelings seem to be less intense". Could it be because you have other things to concentrate on - or just getting through your days when not with him - like catching up on the admin? Or maybe refractory period if being with him is so intense. You need moments to ground yourself in your daily life?

So - I don't know. Perhaps you do suppress them if you know you won't be seeing him for a while, not wanting to spend your days yearning away.
My current experience is different (non-twin-flame) but has parallels - someone who makes me feel comfortable - content, as far as relationships go. It has never been wild or emotionally intense although I think some of the intensity is hidden in contentment. I guess I'm past the really wild days which is probably a good thing (although there are nostalgic yearnings!) We're sometimes parted for a couple of weeks and, sure, I think of him but because I have work and stuff feelings tend to go closer to the back-burner but aren't by any means lost. We seem to be very good friends which makes trust a lot easier if it's needed - I have a weird relationship with the idea of "trust"!

I doubt I've been much help but that's how it affects me.

[psychegrl]

I've been separated from him for 2 years and can't answer this really. Though I do feel him stronger at times. Not sure if it's me focusing on other stuff or just energies not as strong.

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

But do you actually suppress them? You say "my feelings seem to be less intense". Could it be because you have other things to concentrate on - or just getting through your days when not with him - like catching up on the admin? Or maybe refractory period if being with him is so intense. You need moments to ground yourself in your daily life?

So - I don't know. Perhaps you do suppress them if you know you won't be seeing him for a while, not wanting to spend your days yearning away.
My current experience is different (non-twin-flame) but has parallels - someone who makes me feel comfortable - content, as far as relationships go. It has never been wild or emotionally intense although I think some of the intensity is hidden in contentment. I guess I'm past the really wild days which is probably a good thing (although there are nostalgic yearnings!) We're sometimes parted for a couple of weeks and, sure, I think of him but because I have work and stuff feelings tend to go closer to the back-burner but aren't by any means lost. We seem to be very good friends which makes trust a lot easier if it's needed - I have a weird relationship with the idea of "trust"!

I doubt I've been much help but that's how it affects me.

Yes, you did help :)
And you raise a good point, it may indeed not all be suppressing as indeed you also have to focus on other things when apart.
Nevertheless, i do feel this yearning when I know we're going to see each other again. Like my heart chakra is bursting open and waves of love flow out. It's a delicious feeling. It used to get so strong the I could almost feel him as if he was with me. He experienced the exact same thing. The last time he was to come over I didn't have that, I was too stressed out. But now I do feel it again. Really kind of weird in all its beauty. I don't think I've ever experienced that with anyone else in the past.