Cancer in romance

[MissCreativeSpirit]

I have struggled with several signs in dating so I refuse to date them again. Now I have a cancer in my life and moody is really a serious under statement. I sm a Libra with moon in Cancer. Basically I am heavily affected by the moon and I have to often stuff all feelings in favor of allowing him his shifts and ups and downs. It is causing me to well up inside a lot. He is kind of mood dominator? Can anyone identify with Cancers and how they are in relationships?

[Shinsoo]

I have a sister who is a Cancer, and I am a Scorpio with Cancer Moon. We got along pretty well, but as in your case, I was the mood dominator. My sister...she occasionally would lose it but she was generally less vocal about her feelings...Scorpio and older sister can probably be pretty intimidating.

That said, when we got older, and understood each other better, conflict was rare. I was open with my issues, and she to an extent...was open with hers.

Communication is key here. Cancers and people with Moon in Cancer, which pretty much governs our emotional selves, have to communicate in order to make it work. Like when your bf is in one of his moods, if you are feeling emotional too, let him know anyway, but that isn't necessarily his fault. You just need to air your troubles too...maybe take turns. Sharing grievances can sometimes be healthy as you get all those feelings out and empathy is at it's best--as long as dwelling on old issues isn't a common thing.

Just some advice...it will not be easy, but if you both are committed, you will make it work.

[Nature Grows]

Ive been seeing a Cancer woman for a little while now, from my experience, shy to start with, opens up in own time the opposite of this in my experience might be an aries, feminine and kind, happy to let me lead but suggests ideas and things an we discuss but not overly bossy or demanding.. however sometimes i may or have told a joke which she does not find funny at all an then she gets a little mad with that, so a bit sensitive with that i suppose.. they are meant to be moody, but i have not seen that yet from this person, a little bit secretive as well, overall a nice, fun, friendly person but right now she is angry with me. (might add more later)

[7luminaries]

I am a Cancer sun sign. We have deep feelings but I was never moody...IMO folks need to grow up and manage their moods . I'll be honest, I find moody folks and pettiness in general to be extremely tiresome. We all have feelings but no one deserves to be a dumping ground and no one deserves petty sniping, tirades, or passive-aggressive avoidance or shunning.

That said, it is important to be honest about how you feel. When younger, it's a challenge for Cancers as we're multilayered and private...trust is sacrosanct for water signs and it doesn't come easily. It comes organically, over time, as we build relationships. These days, it's supposed to be handed over automatically along with full access to the body, heart, and mind.
All of which is just utter rubbish that is never right-aligned with who we are.

The superficiality of getting intimate without a deeper love and a meaningful commitment is at the root of probably most of women's so-called moodiness in so-called relationships. For water signs, this runs extremely deep. Nonetheless, we've got to grow up, own the deep sources of our conflict, and name them. They lay buried and can easily be manipulated and used against us otherwise. That takes courage and the willingness to disagree or even walk away if our dignity and our humanity requires it.

However, if a gent is moody and prone to outburst of anger or to bottling it up, either one, he may lash out violently in future. That is a whole different order of problem. You don't want to be in a situation where you are constantly afraid of setting him off because he can't manage his moods and is constantly externalising the blame for how he feels onto others.

When older, we are more self-aware and can be more honest. This is great and very rewarding in and of itself, generally -- provided you've learnt how to manage your moods which let's be honest, is what you were supposed to learn how to do in pre-school Or at least get started on it, hahaha!

If you are dealing with someone who hasn't learnt how to manage their moods or to be honest about how they feel, either one....then you have a rough slog ahead and TBH I really don't recommend it.

Peace & blessings
7L

[ocean breeze]

Us crabs can be a bit crabby at times. Best to give us space to sort it out ourselves. We don't always like to be so open about what is going on internally. We can be quite secretive even in relationships.

Keep in mind that each Cancer sign will be as unique and diverse as the next.

[Nature Grows]

Haha, thanks for the advice guys, i also have water signs as my sun an ascendant, cancer ascendant.. so yea, i understand what you are saying about the water signs an that deep trust too 7luminaries an totally agree.

[FairyCrystal]

Ex hubby was a Cancer. Cannot remember he was moody, he was pretty even. Doesn't mean he wasn't moody, I think most / many Cancerians keep that on the inside. What I have learnt with my then partner is that he never really opened up when it came to his true deeper feelings. He kept them locked up in his shell. Didn't come out of that, refused to go into deep feelings, discuss them, deal with them. So not easy when there were problems that needed to be dealt with.
The result of this bottling up was anger. NEVER directed at me. But in other situations, yes, he could get really angry, the anger that borders on aggression, because of the bottled up emotions underneath, from an entire life, that he never let out a normal way.
In the end I grew tired of it, it was like having a 3rd child while I wanted a partner who stood next to me, supported me if need be and so on. He wasn't that kind of partner. A very good man, good provider and so on, but when it comes to a good partner who's empowered and able to emotionally support his wife and children, nope.
The main reason for our divorce. He flatly refused to change. I tried for some 5-6 years, but his refusal to deal with his deeper emotions and issues was bigger than losing his wife, children, house, everything we owned and had built up.
So he did lose all that (meaning I did too of course), and he never stopped holding a grudge. Not openly, again suppressed, which resulted in him setting up our kids against me. That was his way of dealing with his pain :/

Because of his emotional problems -not able to deal with them in healthy ways- he wasn't good as a parent. He couldn't deal with that either, meaning I had to carry the load on my own. He was jealous of our son from the minute he was born and took that out on our boy too. That was the main reason for our divorce. I'd tried everything, we'd done counseling and so on even as I'm not the kind of person to give up easily (Taurus). But he simply refused to cooperate and work on his issues.
Our son -now 27- suffered greatly because of him, still dealing with the after-effects of it.
I basically divorced to save my son's sanity. The child -then 11- couldn't handle it anymore (the emotional stuff thrown at him out of jealousy).

Again, not really a bad man, not a nasty person, a good man, but not the best of partners simply because he couldn't deal with his emotions and cos of that couldn't deal with problems in life, marriage and problems our eldest encountered. And how 'good' is someone when they can't deal with their emotions? Basically you don't see it that way, but it IS emotional abuse of the ones around them.
Had me on a pedestal, which also wears thin real fast, did everything for me, which also begins to irritate after a while. When it came to his needs and wants... he never expressed those.
I don't want a Cancer anymore, even though they're supposed to be a great match for a Taurus. They are too much of an emotional minefield. I am very sensitive myself, I need someone who can talk, communicate, be open. And a real masculine energy partner who's got my back in a healthy way. I don't need that kind of childish chit in my life anymore.

For you Libra will also be difficult, cos you'll have the natural tendency to want to keep the peace. He will disturb that with his moodswings, likely making you feel insecure, at least off-kilter. You'd need someone more stable, but maybe you got some other influences you can tap into. (likely not otherwise you wouldn't have posted here).
Good luck.

[Nature Grows]

DONE! done with her, deleted all ways of her to contact me and burnt the bridge.. goodbye crab woman, goodbye.

[Miss Hepburn]

I know you asked about Cancer...I only know cancer women.
I will only say this...if i had known how gentle, appreciative, poetic and artistic Taurus men
were...would have saved me a lot of time.