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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 28-03-2017, 09:27 AM
august2803 august2803 is offline
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Exclamation Displaying different emotions with different family members

i have birthday today and noticed myself behaving very differently with my mom vs my grandparents.

Me and my mom argumented all the time before but not anymore anyways i was tired, but concious so i didnt put in effort om seeming to happy with my mom on the phone, but after hanging up and then talking to my grandparents my mood shifted totally and i was in good conversation mood!

So my question is: Is this my past experiences acting out? Is it the enrgy of my mom vs my grandparents? (theyre spiritual my mom is not). Should i actively try to engage more and give more happiness? I dont know what to do, i dont want to be depressed when i talk to my mom is it because i dont engage actively that i become part of her reality (a depressed teenage guy) or becaus of me? or both? Thanks😎
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Old 28-03-2017, 10:46 AM
Dude Dude is offline
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Awww happy birthday dude :)

I would maybe try and engage more and see if that works, but maybe try more often rather than longer times if that makes sense, try and put lots of positivity in and get out before it becomes draining. Or maybe try doing something you will both enjoy so it's a shared activity not just a conversation.

If it turns out that actually your mum just kind of drains you then that's kind of normal that we have some people that just do that, it's hard when they are family members though! but if that is the case, I wouldt keep trying to put too much in and find that balance where you don't become too drained but you don't end up drifting apart.
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  #3  
Old 28-03-2017, 12:14 PM
Lorelyen
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Yup. Happy birthday!

But about your question: possible but does it matter too much? As the days pass we change, encounter new experiences, reflect on old ones (some of which look different through adult eyes). Sometimes people's reactions in close relationships stay the same and I'm guessing more from habit than any spontaneous need. Other times they change. All part of our interaction with each other.

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  #4  
Old 28-03-2017, 01:40 PM
shoni7510 shoni7510 is offline
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Happy Birthday August! Don't worry too much about it because as we grow we change, you change and you parents and grandparents also change. You maybe having difficulties to communicate with your mother right now because of the phase you are both in but as the tide turns it will get better especially if you have been close before. For now enjoy your grandparents' company without feeling guilty because you share something in common.
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  #5  
Old 28-03-2017, 06:23 PM
august2803 august2803 is offline
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thank you everyone:) both for wishes and tips, deply appreciated:=
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  #6  
Old 30-03-2017, 01:26 PM
blackraven blackraven is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by august2803
i have birthday today and noticed myself behaving very differently with my mom vs my grandparents.

Me and my mom argumented all the time before but not anymore anyways i was tired, but concious so i didnt put in effort om seeming to happy with my mom on the phone, but after hanging up and then talking to my grandparents my mood shifted totally and i was in good conversation mood!

So my question is: Is this my past experiences acting out? Is it the enrgy of my mom vs my grandparents? (theyre spiritual my mom is not). Should i actively try to engage more and give more happiness? I dont know what to do, i dont want to be depressed when i talk to my mom is it because i dont engage actively that i become part of her reality (a depressed teenage guy) or becaus of me? or both? Thanks��

Hi august. Sometimes it takes a long time to resolve angry, bitter or disappointing feelings we have with an individual, especially a parent. In fact, it may take a lifetime to see them in a different light. I am a person that has held onto a grudge towards one of my parents for a very long time. Too long. That person has aged quite a bit, as have I. I now see the time I spent feeling resentment was a time carrying excess baggage around that I didn't need during crucial times in life.

It stands to reason that one will act differently with different people. Usually ones parents raise them as apposed to grandparents (usually), so some of the intensity that surround feelings associated with a mother won't be the same with a less involved, but loving grandparent.

I don't tend to give advise on relationships so I won't attempt to here. Just wanted to say that as years go by one is bound to view parents or other people that have caused grief in a different light. After all, a child grows up and as adulthood slowly moves forward and the aging process takes hold, so does it for parents. I see my own parents now approaching 80 and they seem so childlike and humbled by their health problems. It has changed our relationship drastically. I've gone from a resentful, bitter person with them to a coddling, caring, concerned fellow human being on this planet with them and others.

I just know this. The aging process gets everyone and it has the potential to heal old wounds.
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Old 31-03-2017, 05:34 PM
august2803 august2803 is offline
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thank you very much
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