What does it mean to love? To love ....

Originally Posted by Alternate Carpark

Where has anyone said that a guy hating me, i think is actually loving me?
I know i haven't said it, i can't Jules has said it.
So far, your're the only one that has said it.

If this is the case, that you're the only one who has said it, then the confusion is from your interpretation of what i said.

I guess I missed something in the discussion.. Normal because I have not read it.

I am talking about myself.

3d

Originally Posted by WhiteShaman

If her words do not convey well what she means then how can one judge what she means by saying 'she may actually believe everything she posts'?

I don't know what Xan's motivations are, she may actually believe everything she posts.. Tzu

Cmon guys..................it's so freakn obvious.........lol

Not to me WS. I do not have your perception.
And even if something were obvious to me, this does not mean what i see is what you see.
I like to know what you see.

The response to Tzu's request...

Originally Posted by Humm

You're a good man James. I understand what you're saying, and I'm with you.
There are a few here who it seems will do seemingly anything to control a discussion. I'll put my opinion out there too, but when it comes down to that, they can have it - They are obviously much more invested in the outcome than I.

But Humm, Tzu was simply asking for WS to express what he saw as freakin' obvious, and he didn't.

Just as i now am. I consider that as a simple enquiry and has nothing to do with controling anything.

Originally Posted by 3dnow

I guess I missed something in the discussion.. Normal because I have not read it.

I am talking about myself.

3d

Your reply to Jules...

Originally Posted by 3dnow

Don't call it love, then there is no problem. There is nothing worse than confusion..
I accept that it is not love. The guy hates me. Now letting resistance to this fact...

You're telling Jules to stop calling something love.
You're not talking about yourself, your talking about Jules, and what she said causes you confusion.

Originally Posted by 3dnow

They hate you more if you think they love you while they are hating you

This is your conclusion, no one else's.

Originally Posted by Alternate Carpark

Not to me WS. I do not have your perception.
And even if something were obvious to me, this does not mean what i see is what you see.
I like to know what you see.

...she may actually believe everything she posts...

Seven words that seem to parse quite clearly to me.

There are two implications here. The wording questions both the content of her beliefs, and her veracity in expressing them. The emotive pointer is the adverb 'actually', which expresses some incredulity on the observers part of the factualness of the action described.

To say 'she believes everything she posts' is a statement of observation.

To say 'she actually believes everything she posts' is a statement of incredulity by the observer of the stated action.

To say 'she may actually believe everything she posts' is a statement of incredulity at the possibility of the subjects described action, conceding the possibility of the subject not actually believing everything she posts.

A not-so-subtle exposition questioning both her beliefs and her integrity.

If you disagree WS, please set me straight.

Originally Posted by Humm

I'm with Jue - awesome story of putting your heart where your mouth is.

I offer my deepest respect for your efforts.

If it inspires you and others, then the sharing is worth the effort.
I consider this thread is the perfect place to share these experiences.
Real examples of love to compliment and hilight the ideas and theories of love.

And though I understand and acknowledge your appraisal of what i do, from my point of view, it's no big deal, it's simply how i live.
It's an odd sensation of being in awe of love but also while I am doing it, it's just a normal daily experience.

Plus, when doing it, there is no evaluation of rating it, or comparing it to the rest of the world.
It's only when i reflect back on what i've done, seeing the results, do I experience the awe of love.

I kinda feel a little exposed sharing this.
Which is also kinda odd seeing as i openly share a lot of inner stuff.
Ahh, i see what it is. I don't like being the center of attention, especially when what i share is far more important than me.
ie: keep your focus on love, not me.

~laughs~ i feel like the more i talk about this the more exposed i feel.
And, it's 2am, i was meant to hit th sack 4 hrs ago and I still have 10 more pages to catch up on.

Bottom line, thankyou, i hope my sharing inspires others to develop love in thier lives, 'cus this silly ol' mental asylum we call earth sure needs some loving.

Originally Posted by Gem

It's like a parade to overtly say 'look how loving I am'. It's recognizable by posts which continually draw attention to 'me' and how this I do is loving and that I do is loving.

I have seen many share of love, but have not seen people intentionally or unintentionally tried to draw attention to themselves while doing so.
This suggests to me it's a perception issue, you see it and i don't.
Plus it could also be i haven't read posts you have.

The truth of it isn't so cozy or self comforting, because hearts are designed to be broken, and anyone who endured that sees much deeper implications of love and human nature.

Well it's by understanding the deeper implications of love that enables me to love the unlovable,
the unlovable being the one's who's human nature has been damaged by painful experiences.

Originally Posted by Alternate Carpark

...Bottom line, thankyou, i hope my sharing inspires others to develop love in thier lives, 'cus this silly ol' mental asylum we call earth sure needs some loving.

I do - and it surely does.

Thank you!

Originally Posted by Humm

I have seen this fairly often AC. Your mum is fortunate you have the patience, understanding, and opportunity to unravel her pain.

And I am equally fortunate, for without mum, I would not have the opportunity to experience love at deeper levels.

Yes, the more intuitive and intelligent they are, often the more difficult it can be. At the slightest hint of encroachment, the old defenses slam into action.

It can be quite demanding.

Yeah, i see that.
It's the ones who willingly confront themselves that will emit a lot of resistive emotions as well.
A person who is not interested in sorting themself out will not be so affected because they simply are not doing anything.

i notice the strongest changes in mum occur after she has reacted the strongest.
She reacts more because her wound was penetrated more.
So even though it hurts more, the good stuff went in further.
Even though i focus on the least amount of discomfort, i have no idea how she will repsond each day.

The days before xmas...oh my..she was hyper sensitive, other days, she will be joyful as I discuss an issue.
Still doesn't want to talk about it, but is not offended.

Originally Posted by Alternate Carpark

Your reply to Jules...

You're telling Jules to stop calling something love.
You're not talking about yourself, your talking about Jules, and what she said causes you confusion.

Not at all.

Originally Posted by Alternate Carpark

This is your conclusion, no one else's.

[/quote]

Ok.

Originally Posted by Jules

What you have to remember is it's all interlinked, so you deal with one issue and automatically it creates the next so on and so forth. I always imagine it as peeling away layers of an onion until only the core is exposed. But by the time you get to that, you've got enough tools to deal with the real issues and although it may seem huge at the beginning, it's actually not as bad as was first thought.

With your loving help and guidance your mum WILL come through this, with patience and understanding. Which by the sounds of it, you've got heaps of. But you're right you know. The only way you could understand is because you've been through it. And now you're sharing your experience and wisdom where it's needed most. And to me, that's what love is about.

J xx

I totally agree with you jules.

Progress is always slow at the beginning, as abilitiesetd increase, the quicker it goes.
I have allocated 10 years for mum to heal and even that is just a rough guideline.

Another reason why it's easy for me to love is i have no guarantee she actually will heal.
There is no pressure on myself or on her.
I simply love and allow everything to be as it is each day.
Yes, the goal is her healing, but it's not set in stone and thee is no set time frame.

It's a balance of effort but also to just let life flow as it does because i have no idea what's around the corner.
Nor do i worry about the next day. I just focus on this day.
Love in each day and the tomorrows will be influenced by the love of the todays.

One day at a time, no ned to focus on a goal, just the steps to get there, and who knows where the steps will take us.