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my twin flame story
my whole life i had always told myself to wait for the right guy. i was never one to settle, and i am happy but curious as to why i thought this way from such a young age, when especially teen years its especially common for girls to get mixed up with boys. i am nearly 24 years old now, and have had one serious relationship. but in february of 2014 i broke up with my boyfriend, who had consumed my life for the past 4 years. i was very much in love with him up until the end. but it was a passionate relationship in more bad ways than good. it was quite sudden that i realized i needed to end it. and looking back now made me realize i did what i needed to do to meet my flame.
i spent a lot of time deciding what step in my life i needed to take. and pursuing a passion, that being animals, was the first thing that came to mind. initially i was supposed to go to south africa for my volunteering, but decided on costa rica instead after the first outbreak of ebola occurred that summer. normally my parents dont get involved in my life and how i choose to live it because theyve always been pretty hands off kind of parents and i was 22 years old, able to make any choice i wanted at this point in my life. but this particular time they really stepped in and convinced me, even though i hardly ever listen to them, and i chose a different destination. i chose from 3 other locations and in the end settled on costa rica.
i decided to pursue other opportunities while i was out there, so i reviewed many work exchange programs until i found two that worked for me. one of them was an organic farm that belonged to my TF. when i first contacted him about coming to stay with him, i was not aware that his girlfriend was no longer there. she was in the pictures and she was mentioned in the reviews so i assumed they were married or still together. it wasnt until further emails that he said it was just him and the dogs.
before my arrival i had many experiences that could have seriously altered my fate. i had gotten food poisoning and was all alone in the rainforest at my first help exchange where the hosts hadnt arrived yet, without a phone, or running water. and at some point wondered if i would live through it. i was also mugged at machete point with two other girls, but we got away with nothing more than the other girls belongings stolen.
i remembered a particular experience when i was sitting on the beach exactly a week before i would arrive at his place, and i texted him for the first time to let him know i was having my new credit card sent to his address because i lost mine in the ocean. and after i texted him i felt a rush of excitement awaiting his text back. i sat there thinking why i was feeling that when we never exchanged more words than a couple casual emails.
after all the changing of plans during my trip, including showing up one week late because of a missed flight, then other prolonged excursions and delays, i finally made it to his place. the day of my arrival, a friend was driving me to my flames farm to meet him, and we had a conversation about facial hair and how im a fan of the beard. well lo and behold when he came to pick me up from town just a couple hours later, i saw his beautiful smile (and beautiful beard), and three dogs in the back of his truck for the first time(I have a weakness for dog dads let alone dog dads with beards).
i got in his truck, the truck of this complete stranger and immediately felt comfortable. we didnt have small talk, we talked about my travels and just talked about life and philosophy and everything. time went by so fast with him. on several occasions wed look at the clock and it was 4 hours later and we were just talking without distraction.
i had planned maybe 3 weeks there because i had a little over 4 weeks left in costa rica, but upon my arrival the first day he said he had no work for me because he was busy with paperwork for his business but he didnt want to ruin my plans by cancelling, and said if i wanted to stay and relax i was welcome to for a couple weeks or a couple days whatever i chose to do. i at this point ran out of money and this seemed like a great place to relax. sitting in the hammock reading a book over fresh coffee while looking into the mountains dotted with banana and palm trees... the most inescapable beauty everywhere.
my first night there he brought up a book called the alchemist and he told me how people had said that he reminded them of that book. i had just started reading that very same book only a week or two before but only made it a few pages in and didnt get to continue reading, it belonged to my last work exchange. this is an excerpt from the book that i finished several months later after returning back to the US.
"It was the pure Language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than of anything in the world. He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning."
The significance of this book was more than just the mention of the twin soul. on top of that he was just 3 weeks until the "the second most important day of his life." this was referring to the the first meeting he would have to get investors for his business. the first most important day of his life? this was august 19th, only 6 days after i made initial contact with him through email. this day he decided to quite smoking after twenty years, started growing out his beard, and started pursuing the business of his dreams. i at this time was also in pursuit of a dream, coming to costa rica to explore a lifelong passion of mine. in the novel he is in pursuit of a dream, and omens, coincidences, and synchronicities frequent themselves on his journey that bring him to meet this woman, his twin soul. however, he must leave to continue to pursue his dream and reach the egyptian pyramids, but knows that he will come back once he finishes the pursuit and "finds his treasure."
more foreshadowing... on the second day his "dog-son" mani was relentlessly playing fetch with me and he threw the dog toy on the bed next to me while i was organizing my laundry in my room. at the same time i grabbed his toy i also accidentally grabbed the lone single pair of sexy underwear i had and before i realized threw both out the door literally two feet in front of him while he was working. he just looked up and smiled coyly at me and got back to work.
his dogs were especially attached to me, mani actually broke out of the house one night to come sit next to my tent through the night in the middle of a rainstorm. any time i went anywhere they all came with me, and when i later on camped at the farm for 3 days they spent all day with me, until he had to come pick them up and get them to stay home. he admitted they never acted like that with anybody who stayed there.
on the 3rd day there i decided to go camping up at the farm. he showed me where i should camp, on a wooden platform, but i was stubborn and decided i wanted to camp somewhere else because it had a better view. and that night there was an incredible rainstorm and because i decided to not camp on the wooden platform, my tent flooded and everything got wet. also, had i not missed my flight before i came to costa rica, i wouldnt have even brought my awful non waterproof tent. it was completely dark and i texted him i was coming back to the house and started walking. as i walked up to the house he was just pulling out of the driveway to come get me and his headlights shone right at me, soaked from the rain. are you throwing up at the romance moviesqueness yet?
that night he admitted to me that he promised himself that if i came back that night, that he would make a move. when he first initiated the first kiss he also went to touch my leg and for whatever reason i shifted uncomfortably, it felt like a shock... i dont know how to explain it. and he backed off immediately. he asked me if that was okay, and i said yes and i couldnt explain why that was my reaction. possible past life experience? or maybe it was the intensity of our energies that threw me out of whack. i still wonder about it to this day.
he was literally the vision i had when i imagined having a foreign lover. muscular, bearded, and i imagined that he would do very particular things to seduce or flirt with me and he did those exact things.
more strange synchronicities that happened was that if i had showed up only a week earlier like the initial plan was, there would have been volunteers there. the last group of volunteers were supposed to show up while i was there, but they never did, and alas nothing would have been able to unfold between me and him because of fear of judgement from other volunteers. he was risking his reputation and future volunteers. but it was something neither of us could have possibly ignored.
we found many similiarities in upbringing and experiences in life, came from bigger family, middle child, both capricorns, both captains of our soccer teams, both want no kids just dogs, both very good with people but enjoy alone time and space, and much more. i have met such few people that i had so much in common with.
it finally came time to say goodbye. i spent 13 days there.
when we said our goodbyes, i wasnt sad. it was very strange. he even asked if i was going to cry, and i chuckled and said i dont really do that. we wrapped ourselves around each other for the seconds we had. i said goodbye, and then he looks me in the eyes and says "this isnt goodbye, well see each other again." no sadness fell upon me in these moments, but maybe because i really did believe that this wouldn't be the end. this wouldn't be goodbye.
after i left costa rica was when we truly realized that what we had was something neither of us had ever experienced. he messaged me one night telling me that he was so glad i left because he could have easily fell in love with me and that terrified him. i told him i felt the same. also during this time i was having really strange experiences i had never in my life had before. many strange energies and synchronicities and coincidences continued to occur. out of body experiences, intense vibrational energies inside me, intense dreams, waking up with night sweats.
we continued to stay in touch, and he told me he thought about me all the time, and he said that i was one of the most memorable and important parts of his year on new years. i believed he meant these things, because what motives could he have with me being oceans away? i felt so alight with love, with energy, with passion for everything and everybody, and i thought about him all the time. i havent experienced such lightheartedness and joy since i was a child.
a few months later i had been debating on and off about going back. it seemed crazy but i didnt care. it seemed like intuition worth following, a risk worth taking. i wrote a blog entry about an experience i had in costa rica, and within a minute of writing a note about it i received an email with a $300 voucher for a plane ticket through united airlines from a complaint i made a few weeks back. what was weird was that i already received a voucher for $125 a week or so before so it was surprising that i randomly received a second voucher. that day i bought my ticket back to costa rica.
the day of my arrival of my second visit was the day his girlfriend left him exactly one year ago.
the second visit i admitted my jealousy of a girl he had been seeing, not seriously. he had told me about it before i got there, so i appreciated his honesty. so i handled it calmly and just wanted to be open with him about how i felt back. he responded unlike how i expected. he wouldnt explain anything to me, wouldnt tell me how he felt, then he shut down, despite my efforts in trying to change his mind and convince him i wasnt going to act on my jealousy. i was pretty distraught and obviously upset up until the 3rd night, we actually had a good night of just sitting around the table hanging out playing scrabble. many insinuations and teasing happened during this game of scrabble which i think made him realize he wouldnt be able to ignore me for another week.
the next morning he said theres been a lot of tension between us, which it didnt feel so at all the night before, then he started yelling and getting defensive when i asked him why. he didnt want to answer any of my questions. i reacted much more patiently and calmly than i had ever expected, simply asking him why he had to talk to me like that, and he stopped, and apologized very sincerely. i believe he was just trying to protect his heart because of how badly his last relationship ended and he could not get involved with me at such a vital part of his life with a new business that needed %100 of his attention.
a couple months before going back i read an article he posted on his facebook page about 10 people to avoid when starting a business and number one on that list was the "siren" the amazing person who falls into your life and can make you do or give up anything and how many peoples businesses have floundered because of them. i knew that was me, and i knew he needed to avoid me.
he is the runner flame and i know that he will come back to me. its just hard to move on but me going back to see him and get answers has enabled me to move on with my life for the time being and set my efforts in learning growing and experiencing life without thinking what if. i came back to see him and got my answers, so now the ball is in his court and when hes ready he will come back to me. does this seem like a twin flame story? all the coincidences in meeting and the numbers?
my birth month (12) + his birth month (1)= 13
our birthdays are 13 days apart
i spent 13 nights at his house upon my first visit with him
i first contacted him august 13th
first day he admitted his feelings about me-- 12/13/14
his birth date number 1+2=3
my birthdate number 3+0=3
amount of years apart in age 12, 1+2=3
day we made first physical connection-- 3rd
days spent with him the second trip 3
our hometowns were 3495 miles away (3+4+9+5=21, 2+1=3)
our phone numbers share 7/10 of the same digits
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