Advanced Lucidity

Then what are you really looking for?
Did she leave you? If not sounds like you already found it and her you may just have to accept it.
If in the case she left you, you have found it and just have to continue your path. I don't know much about ganesh though other than it is a hindu god you could try looking up some of that for answers.

It helps if you see that God. To me.
The word god. Means consciousness.
And we all are it. As is everything around us. Thus me and my higher self and God are all parts of the same machine.

It's for that reason. I know he knows what I know. But it's not clear to me. Which is why I need to ask. I can't express with the desperation I need to ask. But basically I'm willing to die to destabilise the current system and I need to know how to do that in the right way.
The change begins within me.
That's occurred. And it wasn't part of my plan. It's where I've been thrown. It's why I here desperately seeking anyone who thinks I'm sane.
If I tell anyone this stuff. I'd loose my job be medicated and locked up.

The whole reason I'm not with her now.
Is this vision.

It tells me. I need to change the world. It tells me Ash. Next year leave your flat leave your money and possessions leave your heart and go.
Go find your answers and see the world. Then with your music you can spread the knowledge and the love.

The whole reason I'm not still by her side is this.
She gets me. And my reasons.
But she wants what most people want. A family security love happiness. I want all of that too with her. But I can't.
Because I can't live in this world. Because my purpose is greater than selfish needs. It's for all of us.
And that's why I need him.
Just I need someone to speak to. I know he's in there and can tell me give me the courage I need to keep doing this.
I imagine you can already tell how afraid and what a fish out if water I am.

Oh the ganesh thing. It was a sign for me to see. All God's exist because the thought of them existed.
And she didn't leave me. We left each other for the same reasons. My journey calls me to leave. And so does her.
We're still in love but both seeing other people. It's odd. I'm meeting her on Sunday.
But she was the catalyst. Without understanding this herself she made me see so very much.

......


But I know I'm not tripping when I tell you there is a voice in my head that's not insanity. It's the same force that writes my lyrics when I can't. And the very same voice that stopped me relapsing when Safina left. *sigh* we can't change the past eh. And this is why I need to know how to seize the now.
And I can only do that with him.



Please reassure me I'm not crazy here?

Ah yes the god as conscious ness the idea of sacred geometry where in the beginning all there was, was god as a single point of consciousness so in order to make the universe he moved in a series of patterns over and over again creating the flower of life ever making it bigger and vast.
I know what you mean about god in that sense.

As for changing the world, you say it says to leave to leave your flat, money, possessions and heart and find your answers, and "then" with your music spread the knowledge and love. So after you find your answers there is still the ability to settle down we all must pay our dues in this life in this world. It never said you couldn't settle down in the end.

As for all gods being one god some one mentioned a astral projection where an entity said that all religions are roughly the same, misconstrued in or world. Ironically all religions tell just about the same story just about the only difference is the language that tells it.

We may not be able the change the past but we can prevent it from ruining the future.

As for the voice now would be more like a higher calling probably not yourself that you want to talk to but a higher calling speaking or beckoning you along a path.

This is very true. I just strongly feel ill die in this life promoting love unity harmony.

But. I've been detached for so long. Then these visions this girl find me. In a year. You just by this small amount must see what a significant change that is.
This time last year I thought the vision was a one off and me tripping or.
Now. I know. I know I know.
But I'm so alone. Apart from right now. I can't express my gratitude at being able to speak freely without fear. I live in paranoia of government military and police because I'm so opposed to the illuminate (for an easier description of those in power)

But it's a lot to take in. In one year especially.
I know I have this gift if music and intelligence and conversation for something.

I didn't go to school. I didn't have friends.... I've had a really secular isolated troubled childhood.
And then all this happens.
Seriously 14 months ago I was just waiting to die.
And now I'm not afraid of death but I want to live. And feel. And make my reality the world's reality.

But that guy in my head knows more than I do. And feeling as alone as I do recently. I need him. There are few people I can trust with my ambitions.

If you die along your path then you are a martyr for a cause there have been many through out history and there will be many more.

Paranoia of the government is fine in my book wouldn't make me label you as weird you would be surprised to know that actually most people share the same paranoia just most wont mention that they do because of that paranoia, its funny sort of.

That's it. Maybe it's egocentric of me to refer to that higher power as me. But I feel like we are all connected to it. And the word god still holds stigma with me.
But.
In which case. How do I get to it. To communicate.
Meditating is great I enjoy it now I used to be a chore now it's like taking a bath. But I get images and no sound Sometimes insight but it's takes great patience and detachment.

I don't want to be detached. Because I need to be told. Or shown where to go.
I know the purpose. The message. The message with find me. I have the means to sing and play it. And people listen I know I'm built like this for a reason.

But I need to know where to begin. India Tibet China where yaknow?.


My heart has fought a massive battle. And I've let Safina go. So I can do this. And I still writhe in that conflict.
I need his rreassurance.

I don't pray well. I tried a few times this year...

But my prayer is a bit like....

"um... Yo dude. Just checking in. Hope everything's cool. Please speak back to me sometime"

I find it impudent to pray for world peace or money or help.

After all. We're the one with bodies... We have all the help we need in that sense.
I just need guidance. Reassurance. Courage.
The rest is in me.