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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 19-05-2017, 04:39 AM
starnight1 starnight1 is offline
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Is there a better way for both....?

I met a man last year ,only contacted sometimes due to work needs, lately he found me in the spiritual path and he was on that for a long time too, even travelled to India and had guru friends.He contacted me frequently since then,saying he cares about me and feels me a good spiritual friend, he doesnt want to seek a relationship he just wants a friend, so by time he knows about my life, then he texts me all the time, if one day i don't return text, he keeps asking "what's going on?""I m worrying about you,r u ok?".
actually i m in need of some break, i feel suffocating sometimes. he has a health issue that he doesnt tell anyone but me, he seems to be a strong smart and v sociable man in work, in fact he is a lonely soul and worrying about his own health, struggling his relationship, missing his ex.
so , the texts between us is actually helping him, he pours out those inner things to me, but i feel my energy is sucked too much.
Earlier i told him that another one who isn't a spiritual friend sucked me a lot energy and he told me to stopped communicating with that one, cos that is that one's own karma, i didnt need to involve in his karma.... then soon he started to do the same to me......
and if anything against his guru's opinions, he will fight until i agree with him, or at least shut my mouth...lol...
(by the way, i v met a few other people who only believes in their gurus.)

I m a new beginner in this path, havent read many Indian books like he does, not as knowledgable as he is. I m also still on recovery on a few health issues myself, too. so i use law of attraction and visualization ,meditation a lot.i dont know why i attract such energy back to me from time to time....cos i always just ask for very light and v loving energy.....but this energy this friend does give me some deep pondering too, and pushing me to grow , for instance ,without him, i will not come to post this thread.

But this texts and communication is really heavy for me , i feel i m maybe an empathy, i take his inner burden to me?which makes him keep throwing that to me?
I tried to remind him , he said sorry, then he soon starts that again.

An astrologist once told me that in my past life, my energy was sucked too much, i gave and gave, in this life this still continuing,i will still give and nurture others,then one day until i wake up and i need to take that energy back, so my real mission in this life is to find my own energy back.
and i m doing this actually.
but same time i still care about people, especially the weak one.
this friend he has a lot inner chaoes and sadness......the more stronger he appears to people, the weaker he becomes from inner, cos he is wearing a mask in social life.
and he has a serious health issue, he could die easily if not careful by a sudden trauma or something.
and this scares me,
i dont want to hurt him, at least i dont want to be the sinner to make his health worse.

by the law of attraction, i shall only go with the light flow, ignore the dark/negative, but there is a Oneness law, too, all is one, and everyone is a part of ourselves.
I m confused.....

Is there a better way for both to survive and thrive?

Thank u.
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  #2  
Old 24-05-2017, 08:13 PM
Badcopyinc Badcopyinc is offline
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I dont read up on the law of attraction too much.

But i can say that the goal is not to avoid negative and ignore it. The goal is love. Through loving yourself fully you then will start loving everyone and everything equally. Even those dark and bad things (you will begin to see the good in them) yes there is purely dark things going on but if you practice love daily your days will be filled with more things to love. And those purely dark things will never cross your path. and by the off chance they do. there's a lesson in there. find that lesson and you will learn to love that purely dark thing for what it is teaching you.

I don't know of the man you speak of. A truly spiritual person is on a path of love. they will want to transform all the loneliness and sadness to love by introspection. learning why and what is really causing those feelings. they can from there feel those feelings they've buried away for the first time. and learn the lesson they were meant to teach him. Resulting in him loving his ex for what she has taught him. To add to this i would like to say from what you wrote and how you describe him, it sounds like you are further ahead on your path then he is.

When you say these conversations are draining you there's multiple ways to view this. I personally taught myself to be around people and let them vent the worst most traumatic stories and emotions as often as they like. at first i had to numb myself and not allow them to drain or impart that energy on myself. but recently I've learned that when i go inside that individual and understand them and the situation for what it is. That i never empathize with them because I'm so filled with joy from seeing what their lesson is or how this will affect them on their full journey. This goes back to loving the dark as much as the light.
But until one gets to the point of not empathizing with another the best solution may be taking a small break to charge back up.

When it comes to manifesting/LOA you will manifest what you think. so if you believe that your destined to live a life of being drained then you will experience just that. what that astrologer told you may have been true about your past life and how she view you in that moment. but in all honesty you create your world daily. so take note to what you think about daily. maybe read the power of now as it describes the ego in a very detailed manor. this may help you boost what you really want and negate what you don't.

pro tip don't feel like you need to fight a battle of getting your energy back. focus on your over abundance of energy that you already have. You can apply this to every aspect of your life. I often tell people when they say they want to get where I'm at that they already are. The "waking up" process only leads you to the realization that you already are everything that you seek.

Think about the ying and the yang symbols. they are never viewed as a bad thing. But from the little I've learned about them they represent the dark and the light. Female and male.These two energies are essential and neither should be viewed as bad. The idea of something being bad or evil was invented by man. before that invention people probably just accepted what was!!!

PS: I'm what others would label an empath but this is a choice to empathize and feel anothers pain. I choose to feel love for them and what lies ahead of them and blast them with love while their sharing their pain with me.
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  #3  
Old 30-05-2017, 12:48 PM
starnight1 starnight1 is offline
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@Badcopyinc,
this let me realize i m still seeing this world in duality/black and white thinkingstyle, thus i ignoring and running away from my own "dark",(i thought i had done the shadow work, but i was wrong.)
the outside is a mirror of myself, when i feel painful listening others or painful seeing something, it actually a projection of myself the unconsicious hide those issues secretly, until the outside keeps slapping me on the face.

also, when i feel exhausted, it is actually not because of this friend, i always feel draining already, this is a issue maybe really from past lives, but like u said, i have a daily new choice. I must keep on practising a new habit.

this new habit is going to have a lot inner work to do....and i m glad i find what's the root of my issue and i will have to have more courage to face the "dark", and learn more "wisdom"and methods to "transform" them....thank u a lot!
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  #4  
Old 30-05-2017, 01:24 PM
starnight1 starnight1 is offline
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I v read "power of now"and tried the exercise by ekhart, i feel maybe i also need to do "heart expanding" meditation, thus i can find more "love energy". or visualize a "light ball"energy work.
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  #5  
Old 30-05-2017, 01:37 PM
Tuesday Tuesday is offline
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If you feel already drained, you invite people to drain you. An useful thingbi've learned myself, i'm an empath too and have experienced this draining in the past, is just say "No."
You can practise this saying no-thing with people by just ignoring his texts. Also ignore when he asks you if you're alright. If you feel drained when he is "concerned" (quotation marks because it actually sounds like he's more concerned about his own well-being than yours), ignore those texts too. Only answer when it doesn't drain you. It means that you have learned how to handle his emotions. This helps him too, a lot more than you always answering when he wants you to
It might be hard at first to set your own boundaries, but it's helpful.

Also, as the Badcopyinc said, it sounds like you are more evolved than he is. Knowledge is an useful part of the ego, but that's just what it is: The ego. You can be spiritual and evolved even without knowing a lot or having gurus.
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  #6  
Old 30-05-2017, 06:01 PM
Badcopyinc Badcopyinc is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starnight1
@Badcopyinc,
this let me realize i m still seeing this world in duality/black and white thinkingstyle, thus i ignoring and running away from my own "dark",(i thought i had done the shadow work, but i was wrong.)
the outside is a mirror of myself, when i feel painful listening others or painful seeing something, it actually a projection of myself the unconsicious hide those issues secretly, until the outside keeps slapping me on the face.

also, when i feel exhausted, it is actually not because of this friend, i always feel draining already, this is a issue maybe really from past lives, but like u said, i have a daily new choice. I must keep on practising a new habit.

this new habit is going to have a lot inner work to do....and i m glad i find what's the root of my issue and i will have to have more courage to face the "dark", and learn more "wisdom"and methods to "transform" them....thank u a lot!

You're Welcome.

Yes Everything is perception in my eyes. if you view yourself as being drained than the universe will serve you just that. If you view a task to be difficult, then the universe will give you that experience you seek.

Good example of viewing dark as light, today a close friend was surprised I believed in Jesus. she continued to go on a rant about how terrible religion is. And i told her my view on it. I accept all religion because if anyone believes anything to be true then it will be if only for them. Better yet i pointed out the millions of people who devote their lives to a religion. some if not most usually end up being introspective at some point. It can lead this person to finding themselves. Once they do they will have a new understanding of why so many "prophets" stated that god is in them. With that being said i can no longer view any single thing that can lead people to Self awareness as a bad thing. No matter how misguided others view the religion to be. It is still getting the individual to a place of self awareness and that in my book is a beautiful thing. Others see the evil or darkness behind religion. I choose to see the beauty!

Change your perspective on who you are and who you are will change along with your daily reality.

You sound like you're well on your way.
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  #7  
Old 31-05-2017, 03:35 AM
starnight1 starnight1 is offline
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"setting boundaries"is a big lesson for me,since childhood my life force was taken easily by my family members school mates.even now if something goes wrong ,my family will blame me for everything and try to hit my spirit,when they see i m starting to bottle again in depression and self guilty,they feel happy...(its good i dont stay close with them ,but the psyche bond still with me).
today in a short meditation i see a twisted little child in the corner of my subconsciousness,she actually believes she deserves that "punishment"(but punish for what?....she just deserves that bad things....)
earlier this year there was a healer suddenly left a message telling me that some entity was using me as host and eating my life force. not sure ....i also have angels too same time.

"seeing light in dark",i feel its still about "love".
if "the true spiritual path is a path of love", then maybe how much "love "u v learnt ,how much "light"u can see....

I was raised in christian background,i m also becoming open to all religions. i like all religion books.but deep down i feel i hold an issue with christianity in some levels, actually its maybe not about christianity, its the abuse i received from my christian family members,but i projected it to christianity.
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  #8  
Old 31-05-2017, 02:14 PM
Baile Baile is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starnight1
if "the true spiritual path is a path of love"
Not if. It is, period.
Quote:
Originally Posted by starnight1
I was raised in christian background,i m also becoming open to all religions. i like all religion books.but deep down i feel i hold an issue with christianity in some levels
Love your past, love what it brought you. Also love that you have issues with it. That tells you are growing in your understanding and self-awareness, learning to see what you now need in your life that's different. Your consciousness is evolving, always. Life is a constant process of letting go of the old and moving into the new.

You ask if there is a better way. The better way is one thing only: stay true to yourself, always. Do that, and the rest of life takes care of itself. Love is not some airy-fairy way of artificially behaving towards others. What happens is when you live your life authentically, when you stay true to yourself, your life naturally becomes filled with everything that is positive and loving. You feel good about yourself, you feel good that you are being true in life. And those good feelings about yourself radiate out into the world as love. At that point it's as natural as breathing.
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  #9  
Old 31-05-2017, 05:28 PM
Badcopyinc Badcopyinc is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baile
Not if. It is, period. Love your past, love what it brought you. Also love that you have issues with it. That tells you are growing in your understanding and self-awareness, learning to see what you now need in your life that's different. Your consciousness is evolving, always. Life is a constant process of letting go of the old and moving into the new.

You ask if there is a better way. The better way is one thing only: stay true to yourself, always. Do that, and the rest of life takes care of itself. Love is not some airy-fairy way of artificially behaving towards others. What happens is when you live your life authentically, when you stay true to yourself, your life naturally becomes filled with everything that is positive and loving. You feel good about yourself, you feel good that you are being true in life. And those good feelings about yourself radiate out into the world as love. At that point it's as natural as breathing.

I really dont even need to add my input in at all Baile covered it pretty well.

When i started doing this it became a snowball effect. week one i had constant thoughts of insecurities and blaming others for how they upset me or affected me. week two everything started getting better. those thoughts became less and less. week three and four i started to forget what i was doing at all because i was so absorbed with how amazing life was. jump to now. I'm learning the more i pay attention to what I'm grateful for the more the universe will give me to be grateful for. lately its been the understanding and love of everyone's opinion/perspective and path.

Like mentioned above. Just focus on you and what you love about you. and you'll notice those same people will start to accept you how you are. it will take some longer than others. or worse case scenario the universe will make them less frequent to non existent on your path. depending on your level of love/vibration that is. from what I've observed. the universe either gives me lessons, people that need help (still lessons for me) or they disappear because their wavelength inst matching mine. Either way my "Love colored glasses" Never get tarnished!
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  #10  
Old 31-05-2017, 09:22 PM
Eyenight Eyenight is offline
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One would hope that experienced persons in their 30s or 40s istinctively know the acceptable amount of attentions, phone calls, texts, and so on that a person can receive from them. But instead no, certain people have the pretense to take our days in hostage...
These are the most unpleasant stalkers and A waste of energy and time.
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