Feel welcome to mail me here whenever you wish. I either have been cursed too or have kundalini syndrome kicking me still hence throwing bad luck after bad luck. (raising kundalini can cause karma from other lives to be trying to clear super quick)
My story thought different to yours is so very similar with bad luck after bad luck (though I can at times my thoughts to get what I want but that feels kind of wrong and just against the flow of things for me so I just let bad thing after bad thing happen).
if what you are experiencing is karmic from another life, maybe you may have to be born into another hard life if you commit suicide so think carefully about that. Its one of the things which stops me, I truely wouldnt want to go through all this again.
I feel like cheering every time something does go right for me as its so very rare but even then there is usually a catch to it
eg I had to have a court case today, it went right in that I didnt get kicked out of my home which could of happened today but the judge did say I had to pay back a whole amount of money this other is wanting from me even though some of it legally I shouldnt have had too, the bill wasnt even in my name!! how can another do something and then you end up with it.
The judge still made the order though and just told me to seek more legal advice and then just appeal the order and then it could be changed if i won an appeal (which I find weird, why order me to pay something which I probably shouldnt be owing in first place!! This is so screwed up).
anyway, as I said, even when something goes a bit right eg I didnt get kicked out, there is always a negative catch too.
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If it wasn't so detrimental to me I would laugh about it because no one is THIS unlucky
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different unlucky but here is some of my story, I havent had much of a break in life either (I often think Im cursed too).
- My mother got pregnant with me when she was 16 years old. She and my father then ran away together as her parents hated my father, my mother ended up being forced to work as a stripper (possibly while she was pregnant with me)
I was "almost" born premie.. at 37 weeks as my mother fell down a hill so then went into labour due to the fall as her waters broke
- I had my tonsils out at 4 years old. That almost killed me as things went wrong and I then haemorraged and needed blood transfusions to save my life.
- My mother got such severe postnatal depression with my sister that I ended up having to become like a mother to my 3 younger sisters for years. My sisters would be in foster care while I was at school and I'd be looking after them while I was at home (two were babies). This happened from the time I was 9 years old. (Due to my mothers illness we had violence in the house including mother throwing baby at a wall, my other sister had a undiagnosed tapeworm so spent years just screaming in her room in pain. This was environment I had to grow up in).
This only stopped after our house almost caught fire due to one of the children throwing a pillow on a heater. After that I was expected to help dad on the farm instead of taking care of my sisters. eg I'd be on a header doing seeding till 3am in the morning, shivering and fingers hurting in the cold and then have to go to school next day. I still remember that freezing cold and the hurting fingers and nose to this day and being so tired and miserable just wanting to sleep.
- My father had Aspergers so wasnt like a normal parent. He was never happy at anything I did, living with him was hellish as I could never meet his expectations. I got all ** in a school report and he'd tell me I could of done better and should of got As.
- My parents fought all the time, so that my home life was so terrible just filled with yelling and screaming. (my dad did some horrific things eg locked my mother out in the cold all night when she was pregnant, we lived on a farm so she couldnt go anywhere. Once he lost his temper and strangled me till I actually did see stars and was about to pass out, mum saved my life).
- I struggled to make friends at school, other kids didnt like me (turns out I had Aspergers but I wasnt to know that till I was in my late 30s). I got picked on right through school to the point I was even bashed and had my head put down a toilet while it was flushed. I feared for my life every single day at high school.
- One rare friend at school I made, I lost my friend as someone else told her a lie about me (told her I was saying things about her parents after they died in an accident, she never spoke to me after this).
- My favourite uncle died when I was 13 (at only 27 years old, motorbike accident).
- My first boyfriend was a guy who I'd been in love with for years. He finally went out with me but then wanted sex (I was a virgin) and then dumped me three days later after doing that on my 16th birthday. That's one birthday I'll never forget.
- My second boyfriend, I moved in with at 16 years old, to escape all the yelling etc in my home (It was so bad that I'd run away from home three times before that from age 13 years and been taken back by the police. They didnt even ask me why I ran away just were horrible to me when they finally found me).
This boyfriend was a complete control freak, he even made me rob a store with him. He was into knives, guns etc and my parents were scared of him so I lost contact with them for a while though we were living in a shack on thier property.
Horrible violent fights with this one to the point a couple of years later a neighbour rang the police on seeing him throw me head first onto a concrete pavement. He made me stay with him for ages by holding a gun to his head and telling me I'd have to watch him shoot himself if I left him.
I got pregnant (condom busted unless it was just the one and only time we had unprotected sex) and had his child when I was 17 years.
I got HPV badly out breaking when pregnant and was told I was at huge risk of cancer as it was going into my cervix, doctors wanted me to abort but it was against my beliefs to take a human life so but I risked it and fortunately things were okay..
but the catch was that my baby caught HPV during birth (dumb doctors should of given me a ceasarean to prevent this) which affected her to the point by the time she was a young child with laryngeal papillomatosis.
My child then cause of what she caught from me needed surgery 17-19 times (over several years) as the doctors couldnt cure hers (thank god for accupucture which finally did) The odds getting this is only 1 in every 25,000. So that was bad luck.
- Boyfriend 3, I'd meet an actual nice guy who had basically everything too (not that I cared what others had but his family was one of the richest a the town). Great family, all them were close. He really liked me a lot. I'd finally managed to leave the abusive boyfriend.
Within a short time, only a couple of weeks of being with boyfriend 3, I was at a party with him sharing drinks with people and I caught severe mono (EBV). This left me bedbound for 10 whole weeks (missed a term of schooling). I was so sick, passing out and having hallucinations with high fevers.
I had to go and stay with my mother during that time and the abusive boyfriend then came back and put me under his control again. In my extremely sick weakened state, I didnt have the strength to not get back with him (my mother was saying no to visitors seeing I was so ill but he ignored her and she being scared of him, she let him in but I didnt get to see the good guy during this time though he tried to visit on multiple occassions).
So from good guy to mono and back to abusive guy... unlucky. It took me a long time to break away again from him and when I did, he also emotionally destroyed our daughter by not even seeing her after coming back into her life again. At only 2 years old, this extremely sensitive child developed like anorexia and had to be put onto medications to get her to eat.
- Boyfriend 4 finally a guy I was very happy with, this time my IUD failed within 3 months of having it and being with this guy (it was a copper one and supposed to offer 99% protection), so I was quickly pregnant to him and hence then had my second child while I was still a teen too. Very stressful as I had to get this removed at the risk of miscarriage or she could of been born with it stuck into her.
I had to leave him cause he was horrid to the child (bad luck finally find a guy great to me but dreadful to our child).
My second child was born with a rare condition (along with also having autism completely unrelated to her other). She has also a 1 in 25,000 live births condition so was born with deformities and we were told she'd never walk etc.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caudal...ssion_syndrome (similar to spina bifida but a lot rarer) . It turned out I have a genetic problem MTHFR C677T which probably caused this as my folate was affected.
What's the odds of both someones children having a different 1 in 25,000 severe condition?
...
My daughter died on me when was 6 weeks old if I hadnt been able to actually will life back to her as her issue which caused this I dont believe at the time would of been found (I dont know how I did it but I did some kind of energy thing with my whole soul and brought her back). I also did CPR to get her breathing and her heart going again.
As she was in plasters with both legs (due to club feet and her being deformed) and she bleed when she died. I had to go through being a child abuser suspect and had police wanting to question me (until things eased down when they went through at her medical records and saw why she was in plaster) but the ambulance officers treated me horrifically thinking we had tried to kill her. That is the pits when one is going through daughter near dying and dont know if she will while being accused of trying to murder.
My daughter never was able to accept her disability so used to tell me I should of aborted her, to this day she's bitter and hates me. and it sucks even more it was a genetic condition I had which probably caused it.
Both my kids fathers never paid any child support and would even quit jobs if when I took to caught for it to then not have to pay so that forced us to live poorly. (we caught a duck from a park one night and ate it as we didnt have food with the huge childrens medical costs. We also got our loo paper from public toilets.. while both fathers went and brought houses, houses they own now while I have nothing).
I had dreams and a lot of them. I waited till my youngest hit preschool age and then I started college to get a diploma so I could get a good job one day in the field I wanted. I did that while dealing with a very difficult disabled child. Second year of my studies I started getting sick, I ended up having to drop my studies and then ended up bedbound for 9 mths with a horrific little understood condition to which I couldnt get help for as doctors didnt know enough about it, so my eldest at only 9 to 10 years old had to become a child carer. Odds of the illness I have is 1 in 200 but only 25% get it as bad as I have..so 1 in 800.
I'll skip all the rest of the all my life drama but seriously its been drama after drama (first real house I moved into when I left home turned out that the previous tennants were a couple of satanists and was possessed by a demon, I didnt find that out till after I started experiencing the demon. Talk about having bad luck) . Ive even had stints in jail of up to 10 weeks when I shouldnt have even been there.
Im still very sick to this day and in my mid 40s now are are housebound and need a carer and a wheelchair when out or I cant leave my home.
In the past 2 and half weeks Ive had to be ambulanced to hospital twice (a common happenstance). 2 weeks ago i had my home services cut off when I got a new agency coordinator who was horrifically nasty to me and right now trying to sort out how to get them back on. I havent been able to be taken shopping in two weeks (I have no vegetables to eat!!) or have support that i need to get my dishes done or my washing done.
Today I had a tribunal case over a screw up another had done.. seriously its drama after drama.
oh and that having to go home in a unsuitable way from hospital and having no family who will visit or pick one up from there which you said happened to you, I know that one only too well. My family last time I was out with them (a very very rare thing, we were on way to daughters wedding for a bit I didnt even think I was going to get to that). I ended up having to be ambulanced to hospital from a fun park cause I'd attempted to play a game of mini gulf with them on this rare outting and collapsed. The response I got was anger at that as they said I should have just sat in my wheelchair all day and not done anything except watch them. The hospital goes "where's your family" and I had to tell them my family just continued on playing golf after calling the ambulance. Hospital nurses were horrified to hear this.
The family was annoyed at having to come and pick me up from the hospital due to that after I'd had a couple of bags of saline by IV. Usually though I have no visits in hospital at all and no one to get me home and have had to go home in hospital gown with my butt showing after peeing all over my clothes.
A couple of weeks ago after being ambulanced to hospital, I ended up having to wait outside unsuitably dressed in the cold, shivering and crying as I was that cold, in my wheelchair cause the ones while i was waiting to see the dr didnt bother reading my medical file. I have allergies to perfumes etc and cant wait in a waiting room without possibly having a collapse (they once put me there and ended up finding me unconscious on the toilet floor) but they were expecting me to wait there even though its in my medical file I cant wait there, so I ended outside unsuitably undressed, I had sandles on and it was around 13C, no jumper was in a skirt and was so cold (i think i ended up with slight hypothermia while waiting for hours outside after being taken there by ambulance). I have to put in now another complaint (someone very high up has previously promised me that nothing like this would ever happen to me again but things like this keep happening).
just wait till you are sent home in a hospital gown with your butt showing.. if you want to mail me to chat, go ahead and do, maybe we both can laugh about our crazy situations we find ourselves in. One day our bad luck just has to run out, seriously how long can we both be this unlucky?
I have one good friend in my life and we just laugh and joke about how unlucky I are (its no point crying)... every time he comes over to give me a hand with something some disaster will happen
eg last week I'd rescued some frogs eggs, they hatched to about 100 tabpoles and seemed all happy, the day he comes they all decide to start dying (the water suddenly went putrid) and I was trying to then catch 20 live ones which were trying to bury themselves in around 80 dead ones, a job which took me over an hour and he could only stay here for a very short time. The week before when he came over to give me a hand my fence bolt suddenly decided to snap and my whole fence was about to come down, he'd just sat down with me to help me with something urgent when a wind came up and this suddenly happened. Seriously every time he comes over to give me a hand, some disaster will happen and we'll then be just trying to sort out that.
One of my 2 baby wallabies died about 4 weeks back. When I moved into my house 3 years ago I'd planted garlic outside but I hadnt seen it growing out there for over a year. Anyway I got a couple of wallabies and the garlic which I was sure was long dead and gone, suddenly decided to grow and poisoned them (fortunately the adult one escept drinking lots for a few days was fine.. garlic is toxic to wallabies usually they wont even eat it. Im still sad about losing one of the babies). 2-3 months ago one of my 2 adult wallabies was injured when my neighbours shed roof blew off in a storm and came over my fence. I had my cat at the vet 4 weeks ago, he developed a skin condition and ended up needing a steriod injection.
(I used to have a horse, it was only about 5 years old when that died, it got cancer.... same as my other cat. The horse I had got when he was only 2 years old, his father was an American champion, I got very lucky as some distant family member actually gave me this horse which had high hopes of being a champion too, I was going to show him..but yeah as normal disaster hit, he got cancer. I had noticed the cancer quite early but a stupid vet I took my horse too over it, told me it was fine (he said my horse was having allergic reactions to insects) and not cancer but it was and then it was too late by the time a vet realised so I had to have my horse shot as it had spread and couldnt then be fixed. (I put him throu one lot of surgery without success for it).
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